Bull in the china shop!

lepmer · 09-20-2002, 12:04 AM

Does anyone else feel daily that they're like a bull in a china shop? I'm always feeling that I'm saying the wrong things, doing the wrong things and looking incompetent. I've just started a new job at the place I've been working for awhile, so new responsiblities. I'm still doing what I did before but I took on some extra duties from someone who had been there for many, many years. I'm trying to get things done as quickly as possible - most days I don't take breaks and don't take a full lunch break. Maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there but I keep thinking that I'm rubbing people the wrong way and wonder if people are talking that I'm incompetent. My ideas lately seem to be wrong and always encroaching on someone else's duties. I know what I'm there to do but it always seems to be that although they hired me for my expertise they don't want to hear it and would rather I do just what is handed down. Sigh! I was on Zoloft a few years ago and am starting to wonder if I should go back on it. I really don't want to because I am TTC. Am I alone in this?

CTCyster · 09-20-2002, 01:15 AM

I feel the same way- clumsy and awkward- If you hadn't seen me in the past few years you'd think I was a totally different person- seems to be getting worse with each passing year.

I am also physically clumsy- I seem to bump into the bannister almost every day- I am always tripping and falling- and have the bruises to prove it...LOL

*Aimee*

Lendi · 09-21-2002, 09:57 PM

I could have written your post. I, too have started a new job and feel as though I can't do anything right. I feel so overwhelmed, sometimes, and it's not that hard. Just so many little details and a very picky boss who seems to be about half a genius. She said once that she has a photographic memory, but seems to expect me too as well. Sigh. I know I'm doing ok, but I sure do get paranoid sometimes. You are not alone. Change is hard even if it's good change, and when you're unsure it's even worse. Hang in there. Maybe we can commiserate together. We can do this. We just have to have faith in ourselves. Now, if I can take my own advice!! Hugs, Lendi

nunu · 09-23-2002, 12:58 AM

It seems to me you are just going through normal adjustment jitters. It takes a while to get used to a new job and new co-workers and bosses. Give yourself a break! No one is perfect, and you can't do any better than your best. Give them a chance to get to know you. Remember, they are adjusting to you too! I'm sure you are doing a lot better than you think, but it is normal to feel insecure in a new situation. If this feeling keeps plaguing you, perhaps you could have a one on one chat with your boss about her satisfaction with your performance. That should put your feelings to rest. Good luck!

lepmer · 09-23-2002, 01:54 AM

Thanks for the replies! I think some days it all just seems so overwhelming. I'm going to keep plugging away and see how it goes.

Part of it is that my DH has issues too and won't get help for them. A counsellor suggested he has OCPD (which is different from OCD). I've known since I met him that there were issues, but I can't handle it anymore. He doesn't see a problem, but when I hear him rant about how all doctors have god complexes or about kids with their hats on backwards - I tend to lose it myself. He went on Paxil which didn't work for him and now all drugs are placebos. He has extreme anxiety and hates his appearance. I told him today that I had given up on TTC since I have to initiate BD all of the time and when he gets bad I really don't want to.

So I feel a certain way at work and then have to deal with another set of issues when I get home.