Hi everyone. I have been reading a lot of posts on this board the last few days because I just had my second miscarriage this year on Monday. This one is just devastating. My baby was apparently doing great. Strong heartbeat. Measuring actually slightly larger than what was expected for the due date. And I was coming up on 9 weeks. Then I went in for my 9 week check-up with the doctor, and the heartbeat was gone! How does this happen? At 8 weeks the heartbeat was 160bpm. And the baby was measuring 9w3d at this ultrasound. it is like our baby's heart stopped just suddenly! I thought that once you get a heartbeat over 140 your odds of miscarrying drastically go down. How does this happen? Has anyone else had this same experience?
My DH and I are just heartbroken. I had a d&c on Wednesday and now I am just at home recovering. This has all happened so fast. The last time I miscarried, it was due to chromosomes and the baby never really was growing and the heartbeat was always really low. So we were more prepared last time. This time I really thought everything was going to be OK. I just don't understand why this has happened again!
__________________ Kate
Me 32, DH 35, Married 4 years
PCOS diagnosed Sept 2007
Metformin 1000 mg
Ladaisy so sorry for your loss. A similar thing happened to me last year. My baby was doing great and had a strong heartbeat at 9 weeks, measuring right on target, then I came back for the nuchal at 12 and she was gone. It turns out the baby had Turner's syndrome. Sometimes turners or downs can cause later first trimester and even second trimester miscarriages after a strong hb is seen. This could be the reason in your case. are you having testing done?
SO sorry you are going through this devastating experience again.
I think I am still in somewhat of a state of shock that this is happening. As many of you can understand, this is just so heartbreaking. i just don't understand what happened. It looked like a perfect little baby in the last ultrasound, except for some reason there was no heartbeat. I think that is the hardest thing to get over right now because I keep seeing the little head, and arms and legs and wonder how things could have gone so wrong when the little one seemed to be growing so perfectly.
uwalcott - thank-you for sharing your information with me. I am getting testing done so we will be able to find out if it is a chromosome problem again like it was for our last miscarriage in March. My doctor made a comment somewhat to the effect of "let's hope it is not another chromosome problem". I am confused as to why she would say that? (sometimes she does say some weird things and I am not sure why - she is normally really nice) The alternative is to find out I had a perfectly healthy baby that for some reason didn't make it? Possibly because of something I did or did not do? I am struggling right now to try not to blame myself. I don't know what more I could have done, but i feel like maybe I didn't rest enough, or I didn't eat right.
If I have more than one miscarriage due to chromosome problems, does that indicate there is something wrong with me or DH? Does that increase risk of having future pregnancies with chromosome issues? If there is no genetic reason for it, i just thought that is was due to chance (egg didn't divide properly).
I am going to make an appointment with my RE and see if we can do any further testing on my and DH. I have so many questions right now but my heart still aches for my lost little angel.
Thank-you to everyone who has reached out to me to comfort me. It means a lot.
__________________ Kate
Me 32, DH 35, Married 4 years
PCOS diagnosed Sept 2007
Metformin 1000 mg
I just found out on tuesday that I had miscarried. I was 11w6d, & apparently my baby had died a week before. I'm similar to you ladaisy, I had 3 u/s's. 6w6d hb127, 7w6d hb154, 9w2d hb 170. Everything looked perfect. The only reason I went in at 11w6d was that I had mild spotting and I just wanted reassurance. This was my first pg & I'm absolutely devastated. I have a D&E scheduled for tuesday. It was the only time they could fit me in, so I've been sitting here for the past few days knowing that my baby is dead inside me. I want to scream & yell. Actually between tears I have. Does it get any easier???
spatch100 - I am so very sorry for your loss. I truely do understand what you are going through. It happens so fast it is hard to even comprehend.
As for it getting easier, I would say that it is never easy to accept but you do learn to move on and come to terms with what happened. Like you I had so many different emotions when we found out our baby had died. At first i was in shock but I went through very bitter and angry feelings before I really allowed myself to feel sad and grieve. I too wanted to scream. Things will probably hit me more when i have to start coping with everyday things like going back to work. My doctor told me I have to stay home from work for 1 week after the d&c. I think it is important to take the time off even if you feel physically fine since I think the emotional healing is what takes the longest.
I am so sorry that you have to wait so long to get the d&c. That has to be extremely hard. I have been fortunate to get in and have it done the day after we found out. Are you going to get testing done to try to find out why this happened?
Again, I am so sorry this has happened to you as well.
__________________ Kate
Me 32, DH 35, Married 4 years
PCOS diagnosed Sept 2007
Metformin 1000 mg
Thanks ladaisy - When I found out the baby had died, my brain pretty much stopped absorbing any information. My DH couldn't make it to the hospital, he was working 2 hours away, so I don't even know if testing was an option. I know they asked me if I wanted the remains & I said no & then they asked me if I would allow them to use it for research and I said yes. maybe that will be the testing??? I have to go in on monday for blood work and to sign some paperwork, so I will ask them then. I think I need to find out what happened for my own peace of mind, and the sex if possible (DH needs to know that, but I would rather not).
They should ask you if you want to do chromosomal testing on the tissue. I am not sure if that is the same thing as for research but I would probably find out before you agree to anything. You want to make sure that you are comfortable with whatever decisions you make. If there was a problem with the baby's chromosomes, these testing on the tissue can usually determine it. And yes, they also can determine the sex of the baby. After my first miscarriage, we had the tissue tested and found out that it was a boy and that he had an extra chromosome 16 (which is not compatible with life). So there was really nothing that could be done to prevent that miscarriage. It took about 2 months to get the results back, but I have to say that it really did help to find out the reason.
I am a little worried that if this one also shows chromosome abnormalities that there is something wrong with me and that we will never be able to have a healthy baby. I don't know if that is irrational or not but it is definitely a concern of mine.
__________________ Kate
Me 32, DH 35, Married 4 years
PCOS diagnosed Sept 2007
Metformin 1000 mg
I wish I could give you some advice or words of wisdom. I can only draw from my days of biology, and doesn't the baby get half the chromosomes from you & half from DH? I think it would be impossible to determine where the extra chromosome came from. I don't know...
When I go in for my blood draw on monday I will request that they test the tissue. I think it will help me tremendously.
Spatch, just wanted to say very sorry for your loss as well.
Just to let you ladies know (as someone who has been through a lot of genetic counseling), two m/c in a row due to chromosome abnormalities does NOT mean there is something wrong with you. My DD has partial trisomy 3/deletion 7 and multiple disabilities/minor defects, and then I lost a baby with Turner's. I was really scared that there was something wrong with my eggs or DH sperm and we could not have a healthy child. It was explained to me that unbalanced translocations happen after the egg and sperm combine, meaning that the baby itself makes a mistake during development while its own cells are dividing. Turner's on the other hand, usually results from a sperm that is randomly missing an X chromosome. I was told that two DIFFERENT chromosome problems in a row is usually due to chance. However, if the SAME trisomy or rearrangement happens twice, this might be due to a genetic factor in the mom or dad and is far more likely to be so.
I am currently pg again and so far this baby is fine (I am 6 months along). I did not, however, have an amnio so I am still on pins and needles with regard to the chromosome issue.
Just wanted to share this with you as I've been through this crap twice too, although I was blessed with a child the first time. She has many challenges but she is beautiful and perfect in my eyes.
Hope you ladies find the answers you are seeking and heal from your losses.
uwalcott - Thanks so much for sharing you story with us. And congratulations on being 6 months pregnant! You give me hope! And I pray that your baby with be perfectly healthy.
I know that a lot of the chromosome problems come from problems when the baby's cells are dividing, but I have also read it may have been due to problems with the mother's egg (I have heard it is less likely a problem with the sperm because there are millions of sperm around for every one egg, and if there is a problem with the sperm, chances are this defect one won't be the strongest to fertilize the egg). So I am just getting paranoid that these problems are because of me.
If my 2nd miscarriage comes back with chromosome problems, I think it is going to be highly unlikely to be the same problem as my 1st m/c since my first little boy never really developed at all. This last one seemed to be developing a lot more.
I am also going to make an appointment with my RE in a few weeks and see if it is worth having me and DH go through genetic testing.
Thanks again for the information. It really is helpful.
__________________ Kate
Me 32, DH 35, Married 4 years
PCOS diagnosed Sept 2007
Metformin 1000 mg
Can't believe I am here again 
