can't find a man with all this unwanted hair

lllmarleylll · 02-05-2008, 10:06 PM

I have been single for more then 5 years now. I've dated people here and there since then but nothing serious. My neighbor who lives above me had a crush on me when I first moved in and now doesn't seem to like me any more. That doesn't matter much to me because I really don't like him that way either. It's just more that I don't understand why he doesn't like me like he used to. Is it because of the hair? I know he knows about it because of stupid little comments he makes. He's not a very nice person, so I don't know why I care so much. It's not like he's cute and has a great personality because he has neither of them going for him. Does he not like me now because of the weight? I just don't get it and for him not to like me I feel I'll never find someone who can accept me for me. I can't take being single any more. Just thinking about it now is making me cry.

I've met people on the internet and they say I'm pretty and want to meet me in person but I get too scared that they'll see how big I am, which is hard to see on a web cam. Or they will notice the stuble. Stuble is my worst enemy btw. I just don't know what to do any more. I get so jealous of people my age that are married. I feel like that will never happen to me. I'm already 26 and not in a serious relationship. I also hate being alone on valentines day like always. Well enough of me ranting about my boring life. Thanks for reading!

Megala87 · 02-05-2008, 11:02 PM

I hate that we have to put so much emphasis on our outer appearance. It takes away from focusing on what's inside, it keeps us from developing inner beauty and self love. Then we worry about people we shouldn't give a poo about and their opinions of us, when all we should be worried about is liking ourselves.

Cheer up, lovely. There's more to life than this.

canadianmutation · 02-06-2008, 12:33 AM

Hun you'll find someone- I did online. And believe it or not we groom each others facial hair via tweezers. A real man loves a woman- curves, stubble and all!

lexicographer · 02-06-2008, 12:34 AM

I understand completely--I've been single my entire life!

I think our preoccupation with other people's opinions of our "flaws" has a lot more to do with it than we are conscious of most of the time...

candycarolina · 02-06-2008, 01:17 AM

beauty truley is skin deep n i know thats cliche but that is the honest of our lives - society puts too much direction on that - im not saying you shouldnt be the best you , that you can be - or do things that give YOU confidence - however if he cant see behond some physicall things that hemay deam unattractie in order to REALLY see you then who cares- and lets not forget that in some cultures hair on a womanis reveired and weight is just curves and sexy - of coarse i will also say i shave,tweeze and im on a diet lol but im just saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if he is ugly on the inside - than who cares - there is probably someone great waiting for you! im 250 and hairy - im happily married to a man that loves me - so dont get down honey- also chances are that you notice more of your so called flaws than anyone else does -

joyblack · 02-06-2008, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lllmarleylll

I have been single for more then 5 years now. Stuble is my worst enemy btw. I just don't know what to do any more. I get so jealous of people my age that are married. I feel like that will never happen to me. I'm already 26 and not in a serious relationship.

First of all, look around you at the people who are married -- they're not perfect people with perfect figures either! And look at the number of people on this board who are happily married with husbands who are certainly not turned off by weight or hair.

Weight is very difficult to get rid of. But on the other hand, I think the evidence is that if anything, men tend to prefer women with obvious curves.

You say that your worst problem is stubble. Well, that's something I do know about -- but it's something that it's relatively easy to control. I suggest you get a good-quality men's electric razor and I'd particularly suggest a Philips Norelco from the men's range of rechargeable razors. They're designed to deal with the sort of beard growth men have and to give a good shave that lasts all day without stubble. Even if your growth is such that you'll have stubble before the end of the day (and that's heavier than most men would have, then you can put it in your purse and shave anywhere through the day. Problem over. No stubble. Shaving my face takes less time than brushing my teeth. And I know the situation is under control. Which in turn gives me confidence.

Talk to people. Make a point of talking to people you meet in the ordinary things of life -- at the store, at the gas station, on the street, at the checkout, in the library, wherever you go. Especially with males -- even if they're not eligible they've got brothers, cousins, sons, grandsons etc. etc. and it's all good experience, even if it's just to say "Hi" to them. It's a way of building up your confidence. And learn to smile -- that goes a long way. Confidence in yourself is what you need. You're thinking of yourself in terms of fat and beard growth. Well, these things may well be realities, but learn to think of yourself in terms of a confident smile instead and that's what the guys will then notice.

KrisMichelle · 02-06-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lllmarleylll

I have been single for more then 5 years now. I've dated people here and there since then but nothing serious. My neighbor who lives above me had a crush on me when I first moved in and now doesn't seem to like me any more. That doesn't matter much to me because I really don't like him that way either. It's just more that I don't understand why he doesn't like me like he used to. Is it because of the hair? I know he knows about it because of stupid little comments he makes. He's not a very nice person, so I don't know why I care so much. It's not like he's cute and has a great personality because he has neither of them going for him. Does he not like me now because of the weight? I just don't get it and for him not to like me I feel I'll never find someone who can accept me for me. I can't take being single any more. Just thinking about it now is making me cry.

I've met people on the internet and they say I'm pretty and want to meet me in person but I get too scared that they'll see how big I am, which is hard to see on a web cam. Or they will notice the stuble. Stuble is my worst enemy btw. I just don't know what to do any more. I get so jealous of people my age that are married. I feel like that will never happen to me. I'm already 26 and not in a serious relationship. I also hate being alone on valentines day like always. Well enough of me ranting about my boring life. Thanks for reading!

First off I wanted to say sorry that your feeling the way you are, but your not alone. I bet most of us have felt like this a time or two.. or 1000 in our lives. I thought I would never find anyone either.. but I was wrongo. I met my BF who I'm now engaged to off the internet. We meet back in 2004 and have been together for almost 4 years. I always thought I had to hide myself from him,.. I was so scared he could feel or see my stubble so i did everything i could think of to hide it. Since I found this site and these wonderful, amazing women I realized he knew about it and it didn't bother him at all. With advice and suggestions I opened up to him and told him I shave my face and whatnot... it took alot to be able to let him know about what i was going through. As I sat there and cried feeling even more like a hairy monster beast he wrapped his arms around me and told he it was okay and that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. I felt a weight lifed off my shoulders that has been weighing me down in shame for years. Believe me when I say.. If my hairy a$$ self can find someone who loves me with everything that they are and takes me for me good, bad, hairyness, and all.. then you will find someone too. You will find someone that will think your the most beautiful woman they have ever seen. That someone that is out there looking for the personality over the looks will find you. I never thought I would be with someone who loves me this much, but it happened because I let my personality shine through. I leave you with this. You have to be beautiful in your own eyes before someone elses.

I say go for it and meet one of those guys offline (make sure it's day time and in a open place filled with lots of people) and see where it goes. Whats the worst that could happen? He ends up not liking you cus and either tells you so or doesn't contact you again??? As much as that hurts (believe I've been there many more times then I would like to addmit lol) the last time I checked it doesn't kill you... I'm not dead yet. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. If you take the leap and get turned down a few times before you find Mr.right .. at leats you know you will be strong enough to love him with all that you are.. the sronger you are, you love 10x harder.

Good luck and keep your beautiful chin up.

KrisMichelle · 02-06-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joyblack

Talk to people. Make a point of talking to people you meet in the ordinary things of life -- at the store, at the gas station, on the street, at the checkout, in the library, wherever you go. Especially with males -- even if they're not eligible they've got brothers, cousins, sons, grandsons etc. etc. and it's all good experience, even if it's just to say "Hi" to them. It's a way of building up your confidence. And learn to smile -- that goes a long way. Confidence in yourself is what you need. You're thinking of yourself in terms of fat and beard growth. Well, these things may well be realities, but learn to think of yourself in terms of a confident smile instead and that's what the guys will then notice.

I couldn't agree more!! I struggled with dealing with the stubble thing as well and it made me hide, but now I just deal with it as being apart of my life.. but not my life. I no longer let it control who I am. Your a very smart woman and this site is lucky to have your advice.
take care