Can't Leave

Wishing&Hoping · 10-19-2005, 10:37 AM

I don't understand what is wrong with me...Since I've moved to WI I've made one friend. And thats because my husband had to hook us up practilly, they worked together. I dont work because of my anxieties, way to afraid!

So when I finally have the curage to get out of the house what do I do, cancel appointments. I tell my friend i'm really busy and can't make it. I blow her off, then I win a Mary Kay facial. I'm suppose to go today, and I can't go.

I've been up all night sick to my stomach thinking about leaving with someone I don't know. I can't leave my husbands side, it's like i'm super glued to him. I feel like I just can't leave. I'm going to cancel with her.

I was really looking foward to going too, its like I just can't over come my hurdle. I've made this nice little nest in my home where I feel safe and comftrable, away from people staring, pointing, laughing, thinking, staring, etc.

I try to think its all in my head, but I can't stop thinking about what they are thinking about...

I'm just sad that i'm going to cancel my appointment, but happy at the same time. I feel a sence of a happy surge running through my body. (does that make sence)

I'm afraid to take depression/anxiety medication. Because my mom had me on them when I was a little girl and they made me worse...Won't go into details now, but when I think of them I think of my child hood. So I'm trying to do it on my own, but I'm just getting really bad. And almost afraid I'm going to need them. And that makes me sad!

.....How do you ladies do it that suffer from really bad anxieties about leaving the house?

mrsteddy · 10-19-2005, 11:33 AM

I'm going through something really similar. I don't have any friends because of my agoraphobia. I used to be so happy and so outgoing with a wide circle of friends. I was out all time time because (I can see it now) I was afraid of my own company. It's tough to be so alone and without friends, isn't it?
I know it's a shame to cancel arrangements and appointments. The best advice I can give is to take your time and try not to rush things. Try to accept that at the moment you can't handle appointments (neither can I) but you'll be able to in the future. It stresses me out when I think about what I'm missing out on - I feel like evryone's out having fun except me! But I keep telling myself that if I take things slowly and be gentle on myself, perhaps I'll be able to join in one day too.
I don't take meds either. I've fought this alone too, but it keeps me going because I think, if I get better then I don't have to worry about coming off the meds. You know the option is there if you really need it I suppose.
I lost some of my friends through cancelling all the time. They just didn't understand. I know it's probably not "healthy" to be without friends like I am, but in a way I feel like a weight has been lifted - no more snide comments about my appearance, no more competition over men (I hate competing with people), no more *****y arguments that I couldn't handle, no more trust betrayed when I find out someone's told a secret or made up lies about me. When I feel better I'll go out and meet new people and forget the old ones. Does that sound like a good plan? There are always new people to meet.
I know what it's like to be up all night literally ill with worry about something you have to do the next day. It's terrible.
I really hope this has helped. I'm just sorry I can't give you any good advice, it's just so you know I'm going through the same. You'll be in my prayers, I hope things start to work out for you.

Thradia · 10-19-2005, 01:59 PM

You are definatly not alone...I am the same way. My husband is my rock and when we are together I love it. I dislike going out in public because I get anxious. If my hubby is with me, it's not so bad. But I don't even think of going out alone.

I was on anti depressents years ago and they removed me from them because they actually were not helping.

Take it one day at a time hun, and I hope things get better for you.

My husband helps me and because of it I can have some great days. Days where we go shopping or to the movies. I don't have friends here...I have one back home who understands me, but that's it. I've found a much happier life without a close circle of friends. People don't understand that, but it works for me and my DH.

You'll find what works for you and how to cope better...*hugs*

Penelope Pitstop · 10-20-2005, 06:35 AM

Try not to worry about what other people think of you because a lot of them aren't thinking anything,I know this is easier said than done..Take your time worrying will make the problem worse for.Can you speak to your friend and explain your situation then perhaps you won't worry about it too much.
I really hope you feel better soon
(Hugs)

Bratt1212 · 10-20-2005, 11:22 AM

I have lived in SC for 3 years and only have one friend. We don't do anything together except talk on the phone. I don't go out and I don't dress up very often at all. I remember a time when I did my make up and hair everyday. I dressed nice and was so outgoing. Now, all I want is to be left alone. I have anxiety attacks when going to the grocery store and things like that and it is only getting worse. I don't have a support group here at all. My husband doesn't understand, he thinks I am just lazy. My mother in law doesn't understand either. The only ones that understand are over 2000 miles away. GOD what I wouldn't give to be able to go home. I want to go do things but when it comes down to it, I change my mind. I don't have anyone to talk to that understands and sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. The worst part is that my kids are suffering because of my problems. I have tried to get help but the mental health facility said that there is no one in my county that can help me and the other county can't help because I don't live there. I just do know what to do anymore.