Can't sleep

jenkey · 04-25-2003, 10:48 PM

This is my first post here - I've been posting regularly on an amazing ectopic pregnancy board since January but since my miscarriage last week I am now looking for some more advice, info, love, support, TLC etc, also hoping to find some good friends.

I got married in December 2002, pregnant early January - we were over the moon. Started spotting two days after positive pregnancy test, was diagnosed first with m/c then later with an ectopic pregnancy. Through hope and prayer I managed to avoid surgery and the ectopic resolved itself naturally. After that I waited and waited for that elusive period.. it never came and instead early in march I found myself ovulating.. couldn't resist trying and was surprised but very happy to find myself pregnant again!

Had a few weeks of bliss- saw the yolk sac at 5 weeks, was thrilled and relieved as the fear of a second ectopic was really stressing me out. Last week I lost my precious little one to a miscarriage - at 6 weeks. I've done so much crying and now I cannot help but think why? why? why?

I'm sick of the hospital saying that it is 'bad luck' and next time it will be ok. I don't think it will be. It really upsets me that I have to miscarry 3 times before someone will ask 'why?' We are determined to try again but I feel like we are destined to fail.

I take Metformin and when I asked if I should carry on during pregancy the hospital said that they didn't really know. Looking at all the studies that seem to show that Metformin reduces miscarriage - I continued to take it throughout both pregnancies. I feel foolish - if I'm taking metformin and that didn't help what on earth will?

I'm sorry to go on and on, I'm such a positive person normally I've just lost track a bit and I feel that whilst i have support for the pain of miscarriage I have now way to help me with my fears and worries for the future.

I miss my baby and want to be pregnant again - but I spent the whole of the short time I was pregnant terrified that something would go wrong - and it did. After 2 losses in 4 months how do I keep hoping?

thanks,
Jenny

Juana Baby · 04-25-2003, 11:20 PM

I am so sorry for your losses. I understand what it means to worry when you do get pregnant - as I have had 3 m/c's so far.

Please know that there are a lot of wonderful people here on SC that will support you!

Keep your chin up and remember to only take one day at a time!

laural

jenkey · 04-25-2003, 11:34 PM

thank you for your message , I'm mad - I should be in bed.. my darling husband has been snoring for hours. Perhaps things will look brighter in the morning. I miss my baby.

MaLee · 04-27-2003, 02:04 PM

((((HUGS)))) It is def. rough for a while. I still have some nights that I can't sleep. It very slowly gets better. We are always here to listen and send hugs.