Can you "snap out of it"?

raggedy4 · 09-13-2004, 11:21 PM

Hi, I am new to this board and have just been reading all of your posts to see if I was alone. I saw myself in many of you. I have not been diagnosed with depression other than self-diagnosis. I am pretty sure that is my problem, but I could be way off. Some days I feel wonderful, full of energy, ready to take on the world. Other days, like today, I don't want to get out of bed, which is an impossibility for me, I have a 4 yo DD and a 2 yo DD. I am a stay at home mom, which I question when I am feeling like I am lately. I love my girls to death, but sometime I just wish I could crawl under my bed and not have to answer questions, cook, clean, NOTHING! I get so irritable with them, that I hate myself for it. DH drives a truck, so he is gone 2 nights out of the week. Since my 2 yo was born, we have not had one single night with out both of them. My 2 yo is quite the handful and no one thinks they can handle her overnight! She is not a bad child, just NEVER stops going. And the terrible 2's are here!

I just keep thinking when I go to bed each night, I will "snap out of it" tomorrow and it will be better. I am afraid of going to the doctor's and having him send me to a shrink and being on drugs for the rest of my life. I am sorry I am going on so much, I just feel like I am at the end of my ropes. Thanks for listening. Has anyone conquered this any other way other than drugs or is it something I just have to bite the bullet and go and get it taken care of? Thanks again!

ERICKA77 · 09-14-2004, 12:22 PM

I don't have any advice for you, because I'm going through the same thing. I just want you to know that I relate and understand, and the same questions you asked, I ask myself. I myself want to know when you should take the "drugs". I don't want to if I don't have to. Because like you some days I'm fine.

My sister-in-law is feeling the same as you. 3 kids, stay home mom. Some days she is fine, and some days she wants to stay in bed. She has a 1 year old, that has never sat still in her life. VERY active baby. And she has a hard time finding a sitter, since Jaylah is so ACTIVE. She feels at the end of her ropes. She also thinks, one of the reasons she feels like she can't get out of bed is because she is a stay home mom and doesn't work. So her life is being home with the kids she never gets a break from and the house she never gets a break from.
I know when I'm not working, I get depressed. Easier said than done, but you need a break!!!

santa'sbaby · 09-15-2004, 02:37 AM

I am sorry that you are going through this. You certainly have your hands full!!

You may very well have depression and if you are waiting to snap out of it, you are doing yourself no favour. Now granted everyone goes through "blue periods". However if you are finding that this "blue period" interferes with your ability to function, your enjoyment of life or your own self esteem and lasts longer than a day or two then you owe it to yourself to investigate your options.

It's funny that no one really stops to think that you would not deny a diabetic insulin. I equate it to someone who suffers with a seration (sp?) deficency. It's a chemical that our bodies don't make for a reason. You owe it to yourself to be well.

I am on anti-depressants. I have had to go through a few. Maybe I will be on them for the rest of my life, maybe I won't. However...with that in mind. I choose to be healthy (at the best I can be)....taking pills to balance out my levels is part of that....I am greatful to have that option.

Hugs to you, and please let us know how you are doing!!

raggedy4 · 09-15-2004, 09:24 PM

Thank you so much for your replies! Today was actually a pretty good day, I am trying for two in a row!

Ericka, I am glad to know I am not the only one with a VERY ACTIVE child! But , I am sorry to know your SIL and you are feeling this way too! Some days it's just so hard to deal with, I just want to throw my hands up and say "I give up", but I plug on hoping the next day will be different. I help out one day a week in my Mom's restaurant, and that is my little escape. Too bad it has to be at work. My DH tells me all the time, "I will watch the kids, go do whatever you want" The sad part is, I don't know what to do or where to go. I think I rely a little too much on DH to keep me company. How are you feeling? Do you plan on going to the doctors? I do, but I keep putting it off!

Santa's Baby, you have really put this whole thing into a new perspective for me, with the diabetic/insulin comparison. I guess you are right. And I am willing to do just about anything to improve the quality of my life, as I know I have to be bringing the rest of my family down. If you don't mind my asking, what have you taken? Do they all make you tired? That is my biggest fear, to feel like I have medicine head all day. I will make an appointment, do you go to a regular doctor, do they refer you? sorry for all of the questions, I am just trying to mentally prepare myself for what is to come. Thank you!

ERICKA77 · 09-16-2004, 11:35 AM

Active babies are fun aren't they? Just a little bit of a handful.

Yea, I have the "I give up" feelings sometimes. But try to push myself foward. "Tough it out Ericka", I say. But then sometimes that doesn't work. I have a dr. appt. Monday, and I'm gonna talk to him about it. I'm gonna tell him I don't want to take pills if I don't have to, and especially not for a long period of time.
Yea I understand the depending on DH. We just recently moved and all I have here are him, his sis and mom. ALL my friends and family are back home. Sometimes, I'll just go to different stores to walk around. Or a book store. That's when I want to be by myself. Sometimes, it actually makes me feel better.
I too have the same questions about what doctor, what meds. I posted these questions a couple of days ago. No one has replied, so maybe someone will reply on this post and we both can get answers........
I don't know one pill from another. I'm scared about side effects..ect... But I'm willling to do what it takes.
Good luck on making an appointment with the doctor. You'll be fine. Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pippi · 09-17-2004, 07:37 AM

Hi Ladies,
I've read your messages and feel for you all.
My only real advise is if these feeling continue and don't go away over a course of a few months then seek help.
I put of going to my doctors because I was frighted that if he realised I was suffering from Depression that "the lords above" would pull me off my fertility treatment.
I left it a year and a half, finally I couldn't take it anymore, I was crying all the time (at work and home), I was miserable, moody, always so very tried, and the amount of morbid thoughts were well millons.
I have been taking "Fluoxetine" which is part of the Provac group I believe 1 x 20mg daily, I've been on this for 3/4 months now and I do feel so much better, more alive, and more able to carry on TTC.
I had a MC 2 months ago which was devastating (I increased my Anti-depressant to 40mg daily for a week or so to help me through that period of my life) but I'm back on 20mg again.
I stopped the Mets at 6 weeks PG as my DR told me too but I now look back and think I shouldn't have.
I was worried about being PG on Fluoxetine and then to add Metformin into the system as well - I was worried about birth defects.
Anyway I'm rambling, just wanted to say that - don't keep leaving it hoping it will go away - it won't - it will keep getting worse and then eventually you will have to take some medication and then if you are anything like me will look back and regret all the months wasted.
BIG SMILES AND BIG HUGS TO ALL
Pippi x

Rasburry · 09-17-2004, 11:02 AM

Ann Marie,

I'm responding to you without reading anybody else's posts or seeing the advice that was given to you. I can speak to you directly from my heart and tell you there is no snapping out of depression. I just wrote in my journal this morning how I felt about depression and dealing with it and if there is a way to "snap out of it". This is what I liken depression to:

You're walking down the street trying to get to your destination. All of a sudden you step in wet cement. You've got things to do and places to go, but the more you struggle to get out of the cement the more you find yourself getting held down in the muck. You have people yelling at you to get out, some are lending a hand, but you're snuck pretty firmly in the cement. If you stand there long enough without accepting help, you're going to be stuck for good.

You can add to my little analogy, but you get the point. I've struggled with depression since high school, but probably even longer then that. I "managed it" on my own for years and still to some point I do. I started seeing a pyschologist again just yesterday, at a friends prompting. She said, "why do you feel like you need to suffer and not get help in whatever form it can come to you????" I think it's pride. We feel so much pressure as moms to do everything right by our children. As wives, we see others who are so happy and feel like we have to be picture perfect in our marriages. The truth is, when you get down to talking core issues with other women, you'll see that nobody has it as good as you think they do. The truth is, the last time that I saw my psychiatrist (about 7 months ago) he started talking about putting me on some type of stimulant for adult attention deficit disorder. Once he said that, I was back out on my own again trying to deal with myself my way. I got asked by the psychologist why I stopped going 7 months ago and I had to tell him what I just wrote to you. Well, I'm getting around to accepting that "my way" isn't working. It's not benefiting me or my family. My husband and my kids don't have "all of me" right now. They have the woman trying to hold it all together but unfortunately, her feet are in wet cement.

My hope in writing to you is that I can inspire you to go seek help the way that my friend inspired me to. We need to let go of our control and get help. What's the worst thing that could happen? They tell you that you're depressed and could benefit from medicine? You could actually be happy and make progression towards your dreams? You could get up in the morning and feel like conquering the world? You could better handle your children by being a loving, constant Mom? What is your alternative? Is it working for you? Call today and make an appointment!

raggedy4 · 09-19-2004, 09:44 PM

Hi everyone. I want to thank everyone who has responded, it's nice to know there are people out there who care enough to share their advice and opinions!

Ericka, please let me know how it goes at the doctors for you. I'd love to know what to expect!

Pippi, thanks so much for the information. Your story sounded so much like what I have been going through. At times I do feel like crying, but I am one of those people who always tries to put a smile on my face for the benefit of others. I too feel like so much time has been wasted for me, because of the way I feel. Today has been a good day, so I think I can actually see more clearly what I need to do. Thanks again!

Rasburry, I think you hit it right on the head when you say it's pride. I don't want other people to think I have failed in any way. I have always been the rock, always there for everyone, never saying no and I have a hard time admitting when I need help. I know, it's silly, but it is always how I have been. You are also right on with your analogy! It was so perfect, I had to share it with my husband. I hadn't really discussed anything with him before, but your post inspired me. Thank yo so much. I am calling my doctor on Monday to make my first appointment! Feel good knowing you helped someone who needed it!

Hugs to you all!

Rasburry · 09-19-2004, 10:41 PM

Ann Marie,

Don't lose your nerve!!! I'll happily remind you to call your docter on Monday if you want me to! Here's another analogy just for you: you can't fill someone elses basket if your own is empty.

You deserve to be happiness and your family deserves to have you 100%

I'll be thinking about you on Monday and waiting to hear that you got an appointment.

santa'sbaby · 09-20-2004, 07:21 AM

In answer to your question the two most common ones that I have had sucess with are Paxil (which I built up a resistance to) and Effexxor XR...I have also been on Ativan for anxiety and panic attacks.

Effexxor XR was the one that I noticed the quickest results with. However it is something you take and take regularly. If you try to come off them do it under a doctor's care.

I would like to know how your apointment goes.

baileygirl1997 · 09-26-2004, 03:05 AM

It's funny, because before I got on Zoloft, I was very worried about what would people think if I were on anti-depressants. Now that I'm on them? lol. well, I just don't care. In fact, I'm very upfront about it. And it was very surprising to me just how many people are taking medications for their depression.

I'm not sure why society is so hush-hush about depression, but it is. But, to me, it's just like any other problem that you may take medication for.

I wasn't helping ANYONE, especially myself, in the condition I was in. I was moody, cried at the drop of the hat, and nothing really made me happy. Now, I feel better, and the people around me can even tell a difference. To me, it's a win-win situation.

To me, it's not doing you any good to keep running from your problem. Sometimes you have to take a deep breath, turn around and face it.....and only then can you arm yourself with the information on how to take care of you. Whether that mean getting on anti-depressents or just going to a counselor.

kimmiegirl32 · 09-26-2004, 06:44 PM

everyday I keep hoping I'll snap out of it...and it's just not happening.

So to the Dr I will go and hopefully get an Rx for a good happy pill..at least something that will allow me to WANT to pull myself up by the bootstraps...kick my self in the arse and get on with this thing called life.

I tried paxil a few years ago and it helped but I ended up feeling like a zombie so I got off of it. I want something with a good medium...going from feeling everything to the extreme to feeling nothing at all isn't a good thing.

Good luck to you!!!