Catholic Cysters Corner - Page 134

wohiomom · 06-25-2008, 07:20 PM

I'm trying to pop in and update briefly.

I've been getting the updates to the thread and praying for everyone.

My update: My husband and I were licensed end of Feb as foster/adopt parents. We just had one weekend placement and we're getting discouraged a bit at the end of May. I even agreed to do daycare for anohter foster mom for the summer. Well three weeks ago we got a 20 month old foster daughter. It's too soon to know if she will be adoptable but our caseworker says it is fairly likely but she never likes to say definitely. Other than that I'm doing pretty well although I need to eat better. I lost 10 more lbs this spring doing WW for a total of almost 30lbs and I don't want to regain it. I have been walking a bunch which along with the Met helps.

Becky

juststartn · 06-28-2008, 12:11 AM

Ladies, I know she wasn't posting here, but we lost a Cyster last week--Maggie (mom2Amy)--she had an 8ish yo dd, and a barely 5 mos old dd, too...

Her DH found her dead on their couch on Sunday morning. I don't know any more details, but the funeral is this weekend, to be followed by a cremation.

Please pray for her. And for her dds, and dh...

Rachel

Petunia1985 · 06-29-2008, 02:10 AM

(Thanks...these are devout Catholics, so they have the peace of knowing their wee one is well in God's hands. But still...)

Sorry I don't want you to think that I am trying to be argumentative or mean. I am just wondering. What have you heard the Catholic Church teaches on where the unborn go? I've been taught that the Church holds that the unborn( unbaptized) may not go to Heaven but that many of the Church Fathers have a pious belief that God in His Mercy has a place for them called Limbo, and at the end of the world they will have a test like the angels. The exception would be for the Holy Innocents as they are considered martyrs.

juststartn · 06-29-2008, 12:15 PM

It is my understanding that the lost wee ones are baptized by desire--the desire and intent of their parents to have their dc baptized asap after birth (assuming that they had lived).

However, it is also important that, if one is m/c far enough along, esp, to baptize any larger remains (anything that can be identified). We don't know how long we have for the sacrament, so it would be best to do it anyway, not relying simply on the baptism of desire.

Of course, we can only lay such children in the loving arms of Our Lord, in truth. Limbo isn't taught, wasn't ever doctrine--just a belief by some in the Church. Truth is we don't know for certain, and won't know, til we are dead ourselves...barring some revelation by Our Lord.

It is a hard thing, to lose a child...even harder, knowing that you simply DON'T know....

Rachel

juststartn · 06-29-2008, 04:32 PM

Ugh. Could someone please pray for me? I asked a question about suffering (this is a Catholic forum), and while I got some good answers, one particular woman (who has been a bit beastly lately) responded in a really really snarky way. She has a right to her opinion, of course. But between this and other things, she "almost" made it onto my "foes" list. She'd be the first, the only, and while normally I like her posts, lately, she's just been a bit....angry? Depressed? I dunno.

I am not responding to her threads, she seems to see me as something of a target (or so I see it. Maybe I am just seeing something where there really is nothing). Please pray that I can just let it go. I don't want to respond in kind--ykwim. She recently suffered a m/c and I hurt for her and her family. But I know it is best that I not fan the flames, so to speak.

Please pray for me, and for J, that I don't go off the deep end and slap her silly in an online sort of way. Cause goodness knows, I am NOT in the mood for this (I have two dc sick with a tummy bug, so I missed Mass, stayed home with the sickies, don't feel so hot myself), today, on top of previous posts she has commented in/to.

Rachel (who will post a better post in a moment--I came here to vent).

juststartn · 06-29-2008, 04:48 PM

Okay, everyone, now for the not venty post!

LOL

I spent the week running back and forth from our parish, where the oldest two dds were in Vacation Church School, making blackberry jam and peach butter (which is very nummmy but it takes forever to cook down), running DH to work and picking him up the last few days of the week (cause his shift and the girls' pick up time didn't permit us to run home), and generally trying to keep things running around here, while I was running all over the place.

Today the youngest two girls came down with/dealt with some sort of tummy "thing"--spent the morning hurling here and there, so I had to miss Mass. Course, I had pretty much figured I would miss it anyway, cause taking the boys is like taking two wrestlers, only they are midgets who have no volume control to speak of, to Mass. Not an option (the cry room isn't really an appropriate space, and so either I am taking them completely out of the building (no vestibule), or the cry room, or I stay home. SIGH. I went last week (thanks be to God) and DH got to go this weekend (he took our oldest dd with him.

Now, I am looking forward to this next week, without the running around, and being able to get some things done around the house. I need to work in the garden--got alot of hoeing I need to do, so we can water it (no rain in over a week, week and a half). The chickens (we have 65+), geese, and ducks are doing well. The 28 biggest birds get to free range during the day, and we put them in chicken tractors at night, for safety (we have raccoons, possums, skunks, dogs, coyotes, panthers, etc, out here, that roam around). The other birds are still small enough that they don't need to be out yet--we're giving them another month and then they will be able to leave the tractors during the day, and go wandering about eating all of the bugs and seeds and weeds that they want...keeps the feed bill down.

DH's job is...well, a job. His back is really bugging him today, so he's not looking forward to having to get in the car in another 20 min and drive to town, and then drive back just before midnight. Even though he's got Mon/Tues off, he'll spend tomorrow recuperating from today....

We've not heard anything from the VA, so if ya'll could pray, we'd appreciate it. Veteran's Affairs isn't known for being too terribly prompt, and while we've been told "30-45 days" (which would be mid-late July), well, we need the $$ figured out FAST. Our cushion is gone. Not good. Sigh. Prayers would be MUCH MUCH appreciated. We *should* get a bit in reimbursement, for the time since he filed his claim (mid March), so we'll have to wait and see what the word is...

Hm, let's see. Other than all of that, we're doing pretty well. We've got ourselves a nice place here, and we're doing alot of work on it, trying to get it to the way we want it. But we plan on being here for a long long while, so we'll have to plan ahead and spread it out over time. ;-)

Anyway, hope ya'll are having a good weekend

Rachel

Swingin' Cyster · 06-30-2008, 02:48 PM

Just to chime in a bit on the baptism question, I always think it's funny how humans try to limit God. He loves those children MORE than we do, He's not going to let them live apart from Him b/c they weren't baptized. I do remember reading about it in the catechism, but I don't have one on me right now to quote.
Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.... The love overfloweth in your house right now eh?

I hope things really settle down for you soon! I'm very sorry to hear about the death of a cyster, especially with two small dds. I pray the Lord brings them peace.
In GOOD news, our cyster Stacie (Celtic_Spirit) has had another child! She had a little boy and his name is James Patrick, almost 7 lb and 19 inches long.
blessings all! (no my left hand isn't heavier yet...)
~Kara

Petunia1985 · 07-01-2008, 02:08 AM

Of course, we can only lay such children in the loving arms of Our Lord, in truth. Limbo isn't taught, wasn't ever doctrine--just a belief by some in the Church. Truth is we don't know for certain, and won't know, til we are dead ourselves...barring some revelation by Our Lord.

Rachel[/quote]

I certainly agree with this because the official Church teaching does not alleviate our concerns for the welfare of the unbaptized. ( Especially the unborn and those that die before the use of reason).

However I think you may be incorrect in saying that a parent's intention is sufficient for the child's baptism of desire. Nowhere have I read in the Catechism or Church Fathers that this is an acceptable belief.

I'll give an example... My desire for you to be forgiven of your sins would not remove your obligation to go to Sacramental confession.

I agree too with swingin' cyster that we cannot limit the mercy of God. And perhaps in God's Mercy He gives the little ones a moment of knowledge to desire baptism themselves. We can only hope and pray.

Again I don't want you to think that I am being rude or argumentative. I am just pointing out that as Catholics we cannot allow our feelings to take precedence over Catholic Teaching

I have had 2 miscarriages myself so I know that it's hard.

Gods blessings to you.

Petunia1985 · 07-01-2008, 02:20 AM

Here are a couple links that I've read on Baptism.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Rhodes/3543/
http://www.traditio.com/tradlib/problem.txt

juststartn · 07-02-2008, 02:20 PM

Hm. Well, I think that there is a difference between a wee child under one's care, and a walking talking, capable of independent thought adult. If God knows our thoughts and intentions (and He does), then He would know and understand the desire and intentions to have their babies baptized asap after birth, assuming that happens. You cannot baptize another adult (barring extreme necessity) without permission--but a child? An infant? Totally different story. As parents, it is *our* desires and intentions which direct that life while they are not capable of making their own decisions, before the age of reason, really.

Personally, I think that it is up to God, but I would think that He knows our desires, and intentions for the child--did our plans include baptising it? Soon? Was our desire to raise them Catholic, full of the Truth of His Church? Did circumstances like a m/c prevent that from happening, thru no fault of our own?

I cannot believe that a loving God, would condemn a child lost before its birth, simply because it had not had the chance to be born and baptized by its parents. Yes, being a human, my mental scope of things is limited--and limiting. There is much I cannot understand. But as God does, in fact, love our dc more than we do--more than we EVER could, I seriously doubt (and the Church does not speak infallibly on this issue, so it is pretty much left up to us and our thoughts on the matter) that He will be sending our dc to Hell, simply for the lack of an actual in-the-flesh baptism. Maybe they would go someplace else, I don't know. Scripture doesn't speak of this, and as far as I know, the closest thing to it in Tradition, is Limbo, which isn't a doctrine, but a theory only...and time will be the only thing that will enlighten us...

That being said, should I ever have another child lost before birth, it WILL be baptized asap--period, to make my intentions and desires quite clear to God, and all about, that I take this VERY seriously, this obligation to baptize and raise my children as Catholics--even the ones that the world considers "lost". It would be one of the hardest things I would ever do, but do it I would...

All that being said, I have enjoyed this conversation. Definitely a mind-working one, unlike so many....;-)

Congratulations on the upcoming wee one, btw, Anastasia! Do you have any thoughts on names yet? I always enjoy the name picking out process...(I wish we had some emoticons here...I'd be using that cloud nine one right now...).

Best of luck with your pregnancy...You're just getting out of the horrible part and getting into the fun "I still have energy" part. :-D !

Rachel

YellowButterfly · 07-03-2008, 10:34 AM

Hi--

I was Dx with PCOS in 3/07. I was confirmed in the Church this year at Easter Vigil along with my DH.

I went to the Dr yesterday for a checkup after being on Met for 3 months. I told her how tired I am all the time still. She did normal checks and found a nodule on my thyroid. Next week, I go for an US and the week after I need to see a surgean to see if a biopsy needs to be done. My thyroid levels were normal to excellent in Jan. She got another set done yesterday and will let me know how they come back.

BTW, this is my GYN that found it and she is a member of my parish. I was so glad I could find a female Dr and that was Catholic. How cool is that?

I'll let you know how it goes the next few weeks. I'm just glad the kids are out of school so I can go back to bed after DH leaves for work. When they were in school, I was barely functioning because I was so tired. I'm so glad my classes this semester are on-line so I can do them when I'm nice and awake. So far, I'm doing well in most of them.

juststartn · 07-03-2008, 11:25 AM

Alley, is that you?

If so, hi (insert wavy emoticon here, lol).

If not, WELCOME (well, welcome, anyway...but ykwim!)

This is a wonderful group of ladies--sometimes we are really active, and sometimes we're not, but check out our post total. I keep waiting to have to start a new thread for us Catholic Cysters...

Rachel

Manda_Mia_ · 07-03-2008, 07:53 PM

God leaves no child behind.

littleflower01 · 07-04-2008, 12:11 AM

Hey ladies:

I just had a traumatic experience at a Catholic GYN last week and am really disturbed. Basically, I was taking bcps for years prior to marriage to regulate my cycles and reduce the unbelievable pain and agony I was experiencing as a result of PCOS. The Catholic GYN supported this for me. I, however, tried other options (Glucophage) because I felt guilty taking the bcp. I practically forced the doctor to allow me to try an alternate med, and unfortunately, it made me ill.

I just got married and this GYN was so rude to me, and basically accused me of contracepting because my husband and I do not think I should immediately get off the bcp for several reasons. To make a long story short, we really think God is going to be okay with us waiting a year or two to have kids. We WANT kids...but just don't feel like this is not the right time for us, partly because of my PCOS. In marriage prep, we were assured that the Church isn't calling everyone to be baby making MACHINES...you just should be open to kids and try to be generous.

My PCOS is severe, so I would not feel right about getting off bcp unless I was really ready to suffer the consequences, as in major problems with my periods and pain that could prevent me from going to work. Right now, we aren't ready for it. I am already short on sick leave, have a weakened immune system, a low thyroid...you get the picture.

We are going to go to an NFP class as soon as possible and learn to do it in conjunction with the bcp so we will be prepared and know what we are doing when we are ready for the baby.

Previously, the doctor had been okay with that method. So, I was completely blown away when she tried to play God on me and seemed callous to my condition. She didn't even mention NFP....she just seemed like she wanted to yank away my meds and see me get pregnant immediately. She told me that I had to pretty much feed her all of the right reasons in a specific order to prove that I was not contracepting or else I should go to another GYN who supports contraception. It seemed like a shallow game to me because we had worked with each other for years and she should have known me better than that. I said that to her, and was quite offended...and ended up crying in the parking lot.

I think this was ridiculous. I am a practicing Catholic, this dr had known me for years, and am doing everything I am supposed to do, but I am sick. Being married doesn't all of sudden make you not sick, therefore, if bcp is being used for severe PCOS symptoms, it isn't wrong once you are married either if you have prayed about it and are keeping good reasons in mind. Most PCOS ladies seem to want kids because their illness makes them appreciate their fertility that much more. I think this dr was looking for a fight and operating under the assumption that many young women are contracepting for selfish reasons.

The vocabulary issues bother me...and I don't think a lot of people in the Church truly understand PCOS and how bad it can get.

Hopefully, we can find an NFP person who knows about PCOS and who won't try to play God with me.

Has anyone else felt shut out by Catholic doctors/GYNS? I feel like they want everyone to fit in the same box and many of them do not understand.

Any advice?

YellowButterfly · 07-04-2008, 02:13 PM

Yes, it's me. If you really want to start another, why don't we just get a new one going every month like some of the others? Just a suggestion.

I'm still trying hard not to sleep as much as my body wants to. I know now that there is a reason for it. I just feel like I'm neglecting my family when I sleep. I made a comment after Mass this morning that it was time to go home and take a nap. Fr laughed and said it sounded good to him too.