Christian cysters adopting

zischkegirl · 08-29-2006, 10:10 PM

Hey everyone, My name is cortney and after a long battle with TTC, My DH and i have decided that the best option for me and my health is to just adopt. We are in the beginning stages, getting ready to schedual our consultatuon. i am really kinda nervous about it and i pray everyday that we will soon have a little one in our arms. i would love to get to know all of you going through this adoption journey, and share all of our emotions along the way.

Miss-Meme · 08-30-2006, 01:37 AM

Welcome!

zischkegirl · 08-30-2006, 02:49 PM

Mis-meme, i am glad that you responded. it was nice having support while TTC, but now that we are moving on to adoption, i am looking forward to having support from those who know what i am going through.

LadyBugg · 08-31-2006, 10:48 PM

Cortney- Welcome here! I look forward to supporting you on your journey and sharing all your ups and downs as they will be many. My adoption journey is not over yet either, but I know that God is preparing my heart a little more every day until Duncan is safely here with us. Will you be adopting domestically or internationally?

kzig · 09-01-2006, 12:01 AM

We are in the adoption process right now--well, we've applied and are waiting. We decided to pursue a domestic adoption. It really does help having people to talk to who are traveling the same journey as you--although everybody has a different story.

LadyBugg-do you have any idea when you will get your call?

Zischkgirl-been there, done that on the long TTC battle! Right there with ya! When I feel frustrated and disappointed at all those failed cycles, I remind myself that God must be developing character in me that I will draw on when I am a parent. And then I think, why did I not settle on adoption earlier, but when you're not ready, you're not ready. God had to bring us to this point.

I don't know about ya'll, but it comforts me to know that God knows who our child is already

zischkegirl · 09-01-2006, 03:50 PM

Hey everyone, glad to see i am making some new friends. i wasnt sure when i added this thread that anyone would join. Bryan and i have decided to do a domestic adoption. we had thought about adopting from russia, but everywhere i look it is almost 40,000. we can afford to do the domestic. we just got the call to schedual out consultation. i am so excited!!! Bryan is a little scared, but i think that he will be alright. is there any questions that i should be sure to ask the agency when we go? I cant wait to be a mommy!!!!

Sew Crazy · 09-05-2006, 12:04 AM

Cortney,
My husband and I are at about the same point as you. We had our initial intake interview and paid for the homestudy process just over a week ago. We now need to complete questionares and schedule individual interviews. The problem for us, my DH hates paperwork and there are 42 questions he needs to answer to continue on with the process. I just keep nudging him a little at a time. We are so excited to finally be at this point, and to be sure the end result will be a child in our home. Good luck to you. If you would like to chat more PM me.
Mandy

zischkegirl · 09-14-2006, 07:22 PM

Hey everyone, i just wanted to check in with everyone to see how you all were doing. everything is going well for us, bryan is staying especially busy right now with jobs coming in like crazy. he is studying to be a home builder and he has jobs that he does on the side. things like roofs, decks, additions, remodling.

We are finally schedualed for our consultation with the adoption agency. i am kinda nervous, but i think more so because we are going to go and bryan will decide to not do it right now. he is so into getting his career started that if i said that i wanted to wait a couple of years he would totally be ok with it. he wants kids in the worst way he just said that he feels like he is already so busy. we had this whole conversation about it the other day. i told him in away i feel like i have already been through so much and nothing to show for it. and at the same time, i feel like i have cheated him out of having his own children. there is just so many mixed emotions to deal with. i told him that we were both good with kids even when they are not our own, that maybe God has chosen a different path for him and i then the path that we expected him to take us down. all i know is i have a wonderful husband and a wonderful fur baby and it will be complete when i have a wonderful little gift from God in my arms. i cant wait to be a mommy.

LadyBugg · 09-14-2006, 11:46 PM

Kortney- GL with everything! God already knows who your baby will be, and I want to tell you that it is 100% okay for your dh and you to feel fears about adopting. No matter how God brings you your babies there are fears associated with it and always "reaons" not to do it. I really hope you both find peace in the waiting.

Kzig- Thjanks for asking about our son. We have no idea when Duncan will be home. Our very last piece of paper was supposedly signed in Liberia over a month ago, but we have not yet received anything. I am trying so hard to trust God's timing, but it is getting harder by the day. My son is now going to have his first birthday without his mama and daddy and big sister with him. I keep telling myself that we will get to share all the rest of his birthdays. :-) At this point my best guess is early into the New Year he will be here.

kzig · 09-15-2006, 03:12 AM

Ladybugg--you know I've never known anyone who has adopted from Liberia! What led you to that country? Have you all met Duncan face to face before? I'm so full of questions and I hope you don't mind sharing more of your story.

Cortney, I can so relate to the things you were saying. I feel like it could have been me talking just about 6 months ago. I've struggled through the grief of not having "a piece of me and my DH" by having a bio child. And I know the joy this would bring to DH, although he has never expressed it really. Experiencing the pain of that I think was crucial in preparing us for acceptance of adoption as God's plan for our family. What has pushed me past the disappointments is seeing that adoption was God's idea for our family all along. He's in complete control, and therefore, I don't have to feel bad that my body doesn't work like other women's. He made my body after all. For me, it was so hard to embrace that when we were putting all of our energy, $$$ and soul into fertility treatments. I don't know if I'm expressing myself very well about all that. Just wanted to share that this whole process has been life changing and has caused me to look to the Lord. So I can honestly say that I thank God for my infertility. Whew. Who knew that I could ever honestly say that!!! Crazy, huh?

Mandy, we have taken about 6 months to complete all the necessary forms, applications, finger-printing, physicals blah blah blah! I wish it had not drug out so long, but we did everything we could to expedite it. My DH needed some major nudging too to complete his part. Keep at your DH!

As for us, we are on the verge of being officially "accepted" by the agency ---just waiting for one more reference to be mailed back in. Then the wait begins.

Cortney, you asked earlier what were some questions for you to ask at your adoption agency. Personally, I wanted to know how many waiting adoptive couples they had. Also, could they give a usual wait time before placement (hard to predict, though) Also, I wanted to know what kind of counseling the birth mothers received. Cost!!!!!! ( of course) that's all I can think of right now.

Sorry for the long post, ladies.

zischkegirl · 09-15-2006, 02:27 PM

Kzig- You are right, God made my body the way it was, and he knew when he did that i would not be able to have my own children but it doesnt mean that he didnt mean for me to never be a mama. i am really not that nervous about the whole thing other then the birth mom asking for her baby back. I dont know how i would handle that happening but at the same time people tell me that it doesnt happen as often as i would think. i pray that God does not make me go through something like that. I know that the adoption agency that i am pretty sure we are going to go through is one of the largest agencies here in michigan. they have around 100 waiting couples and that 90 percent of there waiting couples are linked to a birth mom within 12 months. all the other agencies told me that the wait was usually a 2 year wait. i think i like the 12 month one alot better. i cant wait to get the call that our baby has been born or better yet, i would love it if the birth mom would allow us at the hospital. even more i cant wait until it will be final so she cant have the baby back. like i said that is my biggest fear. Bryans biggest fear is that he is going to pour his heart and soul into this baby and it will become 18 years old and want to find his/her birth parents (which would be natural to want to find out where you came from) but he just thinks that they will say well you are not my real dad, and go out to find his real parents and then never acknowlede that bryan is his dad ever again. i told him that he was silly but i understood his fears. i also told him that you will be the only daddy that this baby has ever known and that he will never be able to get past the fact that you have loved him and raised him all his life. oops, or her life. i guess i talk about it like we are getting a boy because bryan wants a little boy really bad and usually when he talks about it he talks about it like we were already getting a boy. even though he says that a little girl would be fun too. i do not care whether it is a boy or a girl, I will just be glad that God had chose me to be the baby's mommy.