Hey girls- I recently had a friend of the family who, her and her bf found out they were pg with twins, They are in their mid-twenties, and had planned on marriage, she lost the twins at about 10 weeks, and is now extremely depressed and alone, as his family has pulled him away from her.
I have had 4 m/c myself, but have not read any books regarding this. Right now I am 9months pg, and she is very distanced from me, but I really want to get a note of love and encouragement through to her.
Anyone have ANY advice of a book, that would be fitting for her?
I'll Hold You in Heaven- by Jack Hayford was one that I have heard was excellent, along with---
Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy
I will probably skim it through before I pass it along, but wanted to know if anyone had any advice--- or any other gifts you received to help you grieve- I know flowers and a beautiful bracelet were things that encouraged me.
I am so heartbroken with this beautiful gal.
Thanks-
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DD- Evelyn----------BFP- Oct 28 (Clomid, Gluc (until 18 wk), Cough syrup, Pre-natals, Omega 3)---Pg on bedrest from 24 wks to 32 due to pre-term-labor-- C-section 37 weeks June 23)
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BTW, silence and just hugs did a lot for me. I also appreciated a flower plant that was given me (instead of cut flowers) since the live plant sort of symbolized hope and life.
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2004: Started TTC
2005: Natural conception. Miscarried.
2006: Repronex Cycles 1&2. Conceived on #2. Miscarried.
2008: Laparoscopy to remove cysts.
June - Follistim cycle #1 - cancelled 6/12 due to potential OHSS. July - Follistim cycle #2 - BFN
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I have really appreciated donations in my child's honor to things that mean a lot to me. You could also point her in the direction of websites where she could get support like this forum offers... there are several out there that aren't pcos related. A card is always nice, and thank you for maintaining your distance with the pregnancy and upcoming newborn. It might be a while before they can be around you all. Good luck with that. And I'm very sorry about this loss, thank you for being a good friend!
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Thanks for the ideas- I do understand her pain very well. Like I said this is our 5th pregnancy, after 4 losses. A donation- hmm I will think about that one... thats a super idea.
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DD- Evelyn----------BFP- Oct 28 (Clomid, Gluc (until 18 wk), Cough syrup, Pre-natals, Omega 3)---Pg on bedrest from 24 wks to 32 due to pre-term-labor-- C-section 37 weeks June 23)
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I had read a book before losing my baby girls at 21 weeks called (i think Embraced [or Guided??] by the Light -i'll have to check for sure....but anyway after Aimee and Dana died and I came out of my traumatized stupor ( a good 6 weeks later) i picked it up again and read it cover to cover in a few hours
Its her personal true life experience of going to Heaven and she explained what she saw there. To me it just meant i knew where my girls were, and i found that comforting. It just made me think they werent wandering around somewhere in the universe...i dont know...it just made me feel better at the time
i actually just went to her website and wrote on her board. My due date was June 12th...so the memories are pretty fresh even though it was over 4 years ago i lost my girls...anyway i thought i'd share...
Betty, i read your book a few years ago, out of interest and just a bit of curiosity. It was sitting on my coffee table the day i came home from the hospital, years later, after giving birth and losing my two precious baby girls, given back to God even though i desperately wanted them with me. Reading your book again, knowing that from your account i now had a picture, a visual, of where my girls were, and why they were sent to me for only a short time, eased the guilt and pain just a little bit. YOu showed me that my babies were given to me as a gift, and those precious moments were pre-destined, and out of my control. Thank you. I have shared your book with many since that time, but it has a permanent space on my bookshelf. God Bless you, and thank you for easing a mothers greif. Kim
17 June 2008 - Canada
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
DS6yrs-preemie-30w)Twins-Met,Prometrium, Puregon Injectibles DS3YRS
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TTC#4 w/Injectibles-IVF conversion/CERCLAGE/6.2mo bedrest/emerg c-sec at 38wks
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At the support group I go to we do a devotional every week. This is the book we are going through right now: Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenburg. I think it is a pretty good book.
After my first m/c my dh got me the Empty Arms book and it was ok, but I find the devotional book more helpful this time.
Hi Ladies,
I'm currently reading Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake. The xian author has lost 10 children via miscarriages, speaks about adoption loss and infertility. I'm halfway through the book and cry every time I read it. I've been struggling with infertility for 1.5 years and finally decided to see a RE/IS at the end of April. Before seeing the doctor, I had a miscarriage, which I didn't know at the time that I was pregnant. I didn't grieve back then because I had MC early, didn't know I was pg and didn't form a bond with my baby. Mostly, I was encouraged that I was able to get pregnant because I thought I was barren and conceived before Clomid and internal ultrasounds. Since reading the book, it's helped me to process my early MC (2 weeks) and my overall IF issues.
Christian Cysters- Book advice? 
Embraced [or Guided??] by the Light -i'll have to check for sure....but anyway after Aimee and Dana died and I came out of my traumatized stupor ( a good 6 weeks later) i picked it up again and read it cover to cover in a few hours
