This is something interesting thought you christian cysters would like to read this:
we often get questions like "Is oral sex OK?" or "My husband wants to make a video of us in the bedroom. Is this a sin?" The reason that we get so many of these questions is probably because the Bible does not specifically speak to everything that a couple can do sexually. Where scripture is silent we must look at Biblical principles to try to build outlines for what is, and is not allowable in the marriage bed.
Let's start with what the Bible does say.
We are to abstain from immoral sex. The Bible indicates the following are sin:
fornication/unmarried sex (Ga 5:19, 1 Co 7:2 & 36)
adultery (Ex 20:14, Mt 5:27)
homosexuality (Le 18:22 , Ro 1:26-27)
bestiality (Le 18:23 & 20:15-16)
prostitution (Le 19:29, De 23:17, Pr 23:27, 1 Co 6:15-16)
incest (Le 18:6)
We are to have sex only in marriage; one man with one woman. (Mt 19:4-5, 1 Ti 3:2 & 12)
We are to lovingly meet the legitimate sexual needs and wants of our spouse. (1 Co 7:3-5)
The preceding are all direct Biblical commands. In addition there are requirements set out for us as believers, and as husbands and wives, which add the following restrictions:
Love for our spouse, and respect for the bodies and minds God created, requires us to avoid anything which can cause serious problems: (Eph 5:29 & 33, 1 Co 6:19)
physically
medically
emotionally
mentally
spiritually
relationally
We should never push our spouse to compromise their beliefs. (Ro 14:1 & 14 & 23)
We are not to be controlled by anything. (1 Co 6:12 & 10:23)
Anything that does not violate these principles should be okay within the marriage bed. That said, it's important that our sexual activities benefit our sense of intimacy and oneness as a couple. It's also important for a couple to have regular intercourse, if they are able to. While the Bible does not speak to this, science has shown that all sex is not alike, and intercourse has effects on our bodies, minds, and emotions (and we believe our spirits) that no other sex act can match. On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who say it's a sin for a man to ejaculate anywhere other than a woman's vagina, but we can find nothing in the Bible which even hints at this. So, we see no reason to limit sex or climax to intercourse, but a couple who frequently avoids either intercourse and climax during intercourse is cheating themselves out of something God intended them to have.
O.K here is what I think. I think there is no limits to what you and your husband do in the privacy of your own home, as long as it is just you and your husband. You may want to consider video taping. What would you do if someone found it. Say a family member or your kids (if any) and the other thing is that is sort of in the same catagory as porn. And that would be going against the bible. Im sorry if you think this is crazy, but its just something to think about.
mmmmmm. Well the definition of pornography is that which has the specific purpose to ellicit sexual desire. I personally have a small problem with an interest in porn, while my DH is repelled by it. We are both Christians, though I have not been for long. I see nothing sinful with watching and viewing your own sex videos if you're a married couple (though we will probably never do this as we are both too fat to watch ourselves on video LOL). I think what is sinful about porn is that it is provided by adulterous people. You are watching people in sin and getting off on it. But what if you were watching porn including another married couple having sex?
__________________ Me 30, DH 29, married since 2003.
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Last edited by calmwaters; 01-26-2008 at 06:09 PM.
I feel the same as calm waters as long it is you and your spouse on video its not considered porn but watching other people on video is considered porn.veiwing other people in a sexual act would also fall into the Fornification catagory its a lust for watching other people have sex
I totally agree, what I was trying to get at was this. Sorry if I sound a little crazy but I helped my husband do a class for a high school youth group of porn and the affects that it has on the brain and so on. Wow talk about things that you never knew before! When a man watches anything of sexual nature, it feeds the brain, with endorphins the same way that drugs do. Then after a while they need a little more and a little more until porn is not enough, they need something better. So what Im getting at is what if watching your own video is not enough? But like I said the first time this is only what I think.
The other thing that I wanted to say about watching another married couple I think that would still be considered porn married or not watching someone else. I am sure that we will all have different feelings about this, sorry if I am making any feel uncomfortable
No worries about offending me or others. You have very little control over how other people feel or react to your thoughts other than your delivery... And there was nothing wrong with your delivery.
DH knows Konie Greek - the original text of the new testament. He says the modern word pornography comes from the word pornos which means; prostitution (selling sex), harlotry (adulterous sex), fornication (sex outside of marriage). He does think that watching sex videos of another married couple woud probably constitute porn, not by definition but by spirit behind the act which is lust. I am sad that through my previous years of sexual sin, that my threshold for lustful things is lower. What DH finds offensive, turns me on...
Perhaps I am justifying, but watching another couple would not make me want to have sex with that couple or one of them, but the mere visual stimulation is what would turn me on. Not so much a fantasy. I guess I'm wired like a guy in that way. But honestly it would not be sexy (I don't think, anyway, wouldn't know for sure) for me to watch a video of myself or DH!!! I would be way too focused on my body image.
__________________ Me 30, DH 29, married since 2003.
Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis Survivor
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Last edited by calmwaters; 01-27-2008 at 09:13 PM.
DH loves using toys on me though the fact that he enjoys it makes me a bit self conscious. I get self conscious when the action is focused solely on me KWIM. Like, I am on display and he's watching me. Unfortunately, this makes me feel as though I need to perform, and sometimes I get focused on that rather than enjoying the experience. There is no way my DH will ever allow any toy or prop of any kind to touch him. He doesn't even like me to go down on him! We are VERY different sexually.
__________________ Me 30, DH 29, married since 2003.
Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis Survivor
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Wow he does not enjoy oral? can't say ive heard of a man not liking oral why do you think he don't enjoy it? does he like giving oral?
We have toys as well seldom ever use them because of the humming *L* scare kids will hear it..although i do enjoy them i used to sell passion parties toys and i have to say my favorite vibe was the Dolphin
LOL, the dolphin (like your name) I see why your love of Dolphins. Anyways, I don't like vibes (I tried the dolphin too), just never found the right one I guess. We use a plain old syberskin "cock-n-balls". It's just a dong, but just the right texture and size. He will not do oral on me, maybe as tried twice in our years of marriage. He has never explained why not. I've never had anyone do it right anyway (unfortunately I have an extensive past, prior to being a Christian), so I guess it doesn't work on me anyway. I enjoy giving him oral, but he has a very sensitive member and apparently my teeth hurt him, and I don't bite at all!!!
__________________ Me 30, DH 29, married since 2003.
Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis Survivor
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Ohhhh i see yeah teeth do tend to hurt i have a small mouth so sometimes i wonder if im cutting hubby but i guess if he doesn't complain im doing ok huh? yes i have a love for dolphins they are such compassionate animals i guess thats why plus i have a compassion for people and i guess thats why we click *L*
The vibrating bullets does wonders ever tried those?they are awesome!
Christian cysters :Sex & Marriage 
