i posted this elsewhere and no one commented so i thought maybe someone would if i posted it here. im struggling with my faith and sexuality. need some advice from someone who's been there. no judgements or hateful words please. feel free to personal message me too. thanks.
If you want to talk to someone who was once bisexual and was freed of it by God (everyone else - that is NOT up for debate), then feel free to PM me. If that's not the kind of conversation you're looking for, I understand.
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simply said...i'm a lesbian that feels the presence of God in my life every day...i was raised to believe that being a homosexual was a sin...but i can't help but feel like God made me the way that i am...and he doesn't make mistakes so if he made me the way that i am...how can it be wrong?...and also...i've felt the spirit of conviction before in my life...but never when it comes to my sexuality...does that make sense to anyone?
I didn't feel it, either. Not for a long time. I was quite convinced that I was just who I was created to be. I think God took me on a slow journey, so as not to shock me. I've always bee rebellious, and if someone had said, "You have to stop that," I probably would have hardened my heart to that, just out of spite. No one could tell me that what I was doing was wrong. God created love, therefore whatever I did in that spirit had to be right.
Over the course of a few years, I slowly started to question what I believed, who I was, and who God was. I believed that He of course makes no mistakes. But I couldn't shake the gnawing feeling that something wasn't right.
In the end, the decision to change my life and fully embrace God's desire for me was made easier because of the long process that God took me through. He was quite gentle.
It's not that way for everyone, and with other sin, habbitual (non-drug) sin, in my life it wasn't easy at all to give up. It was a very long struggle, one that still flares up from time to time, though I've been "clean" so to speak for over a year.
Talk to God about it. Don't tell him what you think His plan is, or His intentions are. Just ask Him to work with you to see the truth, whatever that is. And be willing to accept it, whatever it is. That in itself is not easy. When God told my then boyfriend, now husband that we had to stop having sex because we weren't married, you can bet that I ranted and raved about that. But He helped us through it, and we abstained for 3 years before getting married. It wasn't always easy, but it was easier knowing that we were inside God's will for us.
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I'm not being flippant here, but it's staring me in the face... Maybe it's time to find a 'god' that likes you.
Being held accountable, being "convicted" is not a bad thing. We live in a world where many people take a bit of this religion and a bit of that faith until it suits them and is comfortable and doesn't challenge them. People think feeling "guilty" is always a bad thing and I think that a little (properly placed guilt) is a good thing.
IMHO, to say "find a 'god' who likes you" is like shopping around for a car: what will give me the best mileage, the least worry, has the colour and features I want, and makes me look good? I don't believe faith is something you can shop around for just because you are feeling challenged by the tenets of your beliefs.
One of the basic tenets of Christianity is that there is only one true God. So finding another god to suit better is not an option.
To Christians, God is our Father. Parents discipline the children they love. Children rebel against that discipline sometimes, but the boundaries are there because the parent loves their and wants to protect them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leshia212
simply said...i'm a lesbian that feels the presence of God in my life every day...i was raised to believe that being a homosexual was a sin...but i can't help but feel like God made me the way that i am...and he doesn't make mistakes so if he made me the way that i am...how can it be wrong?...and also...i've felt the spirit of conviction before in my life...but never when it comes to my sexuality...does that make sense to anyone?
I don't have an answer for you. I have known a number of Christians who have struggled with this as well and I know them to be dedicated, faithful people. About 12 years ago, I man who had been an intern minister in my church one summer, came to to university class to talk about his struggle with homosexuality and it just broke my heart to hear his struggles. He has since started a ministry for homosexuals within the church (support rather than something like Exodus which seeks to "heal" you.) Although it was that long ago, I vividly remember his talk and his pain. I don't know if this struggle is one that we will understand from this side of heaven.
The Bible says homosexuality is a sin, I have a hard time with this, maybe because it seems some in the church have decided that homosexuality is the cardinal sin and we know there is so much other sin in the church. God doesn't differentiate between one sin and another. That being said, I think that conviction in our sexuality is probably one of the hardest things to face.
So I don't have an answer for you, but I understand what you are saying. I hope you receive some good wisdom from other believers and are open to what God is saying to you, even if its not the answer you want or hope for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajani
Talk to God about it. Don't tell him what you think His plan is, or His intentions are. Just ask Him to work with you to see the truth, whatever that is. And be willing to accept it, whatever it is.
I agree with that. Oh but the willingness to accept what is God's plan and not our own is soooo hard!
Blessings.
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Last edited by oohmercyme; 03-12-2006 at 03:03 PM.
Ok, let me get this out there as some food for thought...
The first thing that pops into my mind is that God loves us all. He created us the way HE wanted. He had a purpose in mind with homosexuality. Of course, we don't always know his purpose (nor should we).
When it comes to homosexuality, many churches either preach "healing" or a life of abstinence. I put healing in quotes because I really don't think that a person can truly heal from homosexuality. I don't think anyone CHOOSES to be homosexual (why would someone choose it when there is so much discrimination and such?)
I remember a biology teacher mentioning that autopsies have been done on the brains of homosexuals vs. heterosexuals and there were very big differences in brain structure. What he meant by that, we never got the opportunity to ask (for the record, this man was NOT a religious zealot, quite the opposite). I walked away from that lesson with the idea that this structure difference would prevent somone from trying to "heal".
I hope that I've made sense here...
Just remember, sweetie, that God loves you and he understands that you are struggling.
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I don't know that a debate on whether or not it's genetic will be beneficial here. Ultimately, this is between you and God. If you truly want His will for your life, seek it out, be open to whatever He has to say, and let Him lead you. The road may or may not be scary, but God will not leave you.
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simply said...i'm a lesbian that feels the presence of God in my life every day...i was raised to believe that being a homosexual was a sin...but i can't help but feel like God made me the way that i am...and he doesn't make mistakes so if he made me the way that i am...how can it be wrong?...and also...i've felt the spirit of conviction before in my life...but never when it comes to my sexuality...does that make sense to anyone?
Well, I don't have too much to say on the subject, but I'll will comment on the words in red.
"Being" a homosexual is not a sin. It is not a sin to 'be'. Our actions can be sinful, but not our existence.
As for people in the pulpit (and the pews) who are hateful to gays, they have CLEARLY forgotten the story about the woman who was caught in adultry. Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone."
According to the Bible, we all sin, so no one should be throwing stones at people who appear to be 'falling short' - whatever that 'fall' should be.
I heard a great quote today: Jesus is a great guy, but he has the worst PR team.
Many of today's "Christians" have really screwed up what a relationship with Christ is all about.
I don't recall any stories in the Bible where Jesus intentionally made someone feel guilty. He constantly forgave people, and told them to do better...to follow His lead.
How did gays become such a target of the church, anyway?
Why aren't more church leaders as vocal about child molesters, wife beaters, child abusers, corporate theives, etc? Maybe it's because a major % of any congregation would be alienated?
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Warning....this is going to be a ramble and may be of no value to anyone here, but it's something that comes to my mind when I think of the alleged "sinfulness" of a homosexual finding love with someone of the same gender...
When I was diagnosed with late onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia, I began studying it. For some, it is considered an "intersex" disorder, because girl babies with the classical form of the disorder are born with masculinized genitalia. A lot of information on all kinds of intersex disorders came my way, including info on "androgen insensitivy syndrome." See, when a fetus is conceived, we all are the same...I guess you might say we are all "female" at first, and our gender organs devlop a few weeks later. But fetuses that are not receptive to androgens...whether they are chromosomally male or female...remain "female." The little girls are born, and they grow up, they marry, they try to have children...and that's often when they discover they are chromosomally male. Despite the fact that they are almost always tall, thin, long limbed with generous breasts and fine boned faces (they are often described as the perfect victoria's secret models), they are men. Jamie Lee Curtis has long been rumored to be suffering with this, because she has the AIS body type, and has adopted all of her children. Flimsy evidence, at best, but I thought I'd offer her up as an example of whan a man/woman with this disorder might look like. (In a recent episode of House, he said something like..."Isn't it strange how the perfect woman, is a man.")
So I ask myself, what would God want for these "men" (men who sometimes live and die never knowing they are -- in fact - chromosomally male). Should they stay with the men they are almost always attracted to and partnered with (technically a homosexual relationship)? Or should they bow to their chromosomes, and try to choose a female partner, even though they would then appear to the world as though they were living a lesbian lifestyle?
What do you think God would want for them?
That's one reason man-written dogma has long been so hard for me to swallow. It doesn't take into account so many of the beautiful colors along the spectrum of humanity. How could it? When these men were writing this stuff, they didn't have any way of knowing so much of what we've discovered over the last two centuries, so how could they address it when they were writing what they thought was God's will for us, in their limited context?
I think God understands and embraces a lot more than humankind can begin to comprehend. Like so many of you said, God made us, and God doesn't make mistakes.
"Being" a homosexual is not a sin. It is not a sin to 'be'. Our actions can be sinful, but not our existence.
As for people in the pulpit (and the pews) who are hateful to gays, they have CLEARLY forgotten the story about the woman who was caught in adultry. Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone."
According to the Bible, we all sin, so no one should be throwing stones at people who appear to be 'falling short' - whatever that 'fall' should be.
I heard a great quote today: Jesus is a great guy, but he has the worst PR team.
Many of today's "Christians" have really screwed up what a relationship with Christ is all about.
I don't recall any stories in the Bible where Jesus intentionally made someone feel guilty. He constantly forgave people, and told them to do better...to follow His lead.
True. "Being" is not sin. It's our actions that are sinful, and we absolutely do need to follow Jesus' lead. When He told the adulterous lady to go and sin no more, He gave her the responsiblity to act out her faith and stop the adultery. She was not sinning by being, but by doing.
His forgiveness is amazing, isn't it? He acknowledges that we are sinful, tells us that He loves us and will forgive us, yet isn't at all wishy-washy about expecting us to stop sinning. He is adamant that the sin stop, but in a firm, loving way, not in a nasty way. It's an extension of His grace and love. And it's a model that we should adopt.
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I was just about to post what Kat posted. BEING homosexual is not a sin. Homosexual acts are sinful because they take something God designed as a unifying force for a husband and wife and pervert it. A man can't give himself completely to a man and same for a woman to a woman. It is a struggle that people have to face day in and day out, just like PCOS is a struggle we women here have to bear. But God will provide you the grace necessary!
Now I hope not to get flamed on this but I think a lot of preachers are preaching on homosexuality nowadays because Hollywood is really forcing the lifestyle on us. It's in the movies, on TV, in music, etc. And the more we watch the more we become immune and think that it's ok. There's a plethora of evils that can be preached against and they do, I think it just SEEMS to be preached more b/c it's everywhere you turn. Just my thoughts.
Leshia, I pray God will shower you with love and grace and make His ways and will known to you.
blessings, Kara
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Christian lesbian 2 
