Christian Polygamy?

elocinintherain · 04-17-2008, 07:51 PM

I am starting this thread to discuss people's opinions on Christian Polygamy.
I am not asking for people to state if they are or are not polygamists, but I want to know people's opinions on the subject.
Do you agree with a plural spiritual marriage, as long as it is between consenting adults and is not abusive?
If someone had asked me a few years ago, I would have told them that there would be no way that I would "share" my guy. However, I have several friends who are polygamists, and they have really opened my eyes. Personally, I think that there is a huge cultural bias against polygamists, just as there are biases against any religion, sexual orientation, or lifestyle that isn't "mainstream"... sure, there are bad eggs, such as guys who abuse young girls or force people into marriages, but you can find abuse and bad apples in any group of people.
Honestly, I would rather see a guy have 2 spiritual wives and 5 kids that are well cared for, than see a guy with 50 girlfriends/lovers (possibly spreading stds) and 12 kids from all different moms who are now having to scrape by as single mothers or are completely dependant on social assistance because he could care less.
Your thoughts?

sirrahved · 04-17-2008, 07:57 PM

My personal beliefs are that God created marriage between one man and one woman.

PollySis · 04-17-2008, 08:02 PM

Seems mysteriously male orientated polygamy, to me. OK, so if polygamy is valid - then it should cut both ways - lots of toyboy 'husbands' for the ladies as well. Strange how it doesn't work that way, eh?

I married young and am still with husband No 1, (although we split up for 5 years or so in the middle) and I'm not a big believer in marriage must say, even though I struck lucky with it, I'm with Shelley who said marriage is like being chained to a rotting corpse.... Several spouses would be just multiplying the problem...! Think humans are built to have as many partners as they want and everything is just social constraint, really. So by all means, polygamise away but so long as women get to do the same as men. Something tells me that ud never happen though.

Anonykat · 04-17-2008, 08:08 PM

Polygamy does not really exist in Christianity. It is not accepted in either Protestantism, Catholicism, or Orthodoxy. There are some off-shoot groups (the FLDS comes to mind), but they are small and not accepted by the mainstream.

Some religions do allow it. I believe Islam (depending on who you talk to) allows up to 4 wives.

~Secret Longings~ · 04-18-2008, 03:25 AM

each to there own i think

i think that people who believe that polygamy is a emotionally healthy way to lead their life and raise their children have the right to believe this without being judged or ridiculed.

just because you have your own beliefs does not make instantly others wrong. you can disagree, but if so simply don't lead a life of polygamy yourself. its really that simple in my eyes.

that being said, like any religion or belief, it is important that some general moral standards are in place.

as long as no one is being harmed physically or emotionally, all the people involved are consenting emotionally stable adults that fully understand that there are other options then just what they are being directly exposed too i dont have a problem with it

i do have a problem with children being raised not knowing that they are able to make their own decision and more importantly not being exposed to the alternatives that are out there. a lot of people say they give there children freedom of choice, but for this to be completely true they have to informed about the other options in an unbiased way, which i think would very rarely happen.

alex · 04-18-2008, 04:38 AM

Well, as far as I'm aware the religions/sects that allow polygamy actually allow polygyny, ie a man having more than one wife, and do not allow polyandry, a wife having more than husband. This just seems to be asking for problems, imo; if the birth rate is roughly 50/50 boys and girls, but each man who marries is going to need 2 or more women, how does this work out?? You either have to attract more women from outside (difficult if they're not culturally conditioned to the idea of plural marriage), or you have to remove a large number of young men from the equation, and/or you have to marry off younger and younger women to cover the shortage. It doesn't add up, and it's hardly surprising that suspicions of child abuse come into play. I wouldn't be so sure that abusers are the occasional "bad eggs" in this set-up, because the whole society seems so inherently unbalanced.

Aside from that, I find it hard to believe that it's on the whole the best answer for the women.

Having said that, if adult individuals make this kind of arrangement for themselves (not legal marriage in my country, as that isn't allowed, but cohabiting outside the usual one-man-one-woman arrangement), I'm not really bothered by it. It's up to them. I think it's unlikely to catch on in a big way so it won't really affect the rest of us.

sarahgmac · 04-18-2008, 11:25 AM

My biggest problem with polygamy is the potential for child abuse. Teen girls being married off to old men is wrong.

I do believe marriage should be with one man and one woman (or two men or two women). If grown adults want to share their families like that, I really don't have a problem with that.

But FLDS is more like a cult than an offshoot of Christianity. I have watched a bunch on them, and they run off the boys so they have less competitions for wives, they marry off and rape young girls. That is wrong.

Personally, I know my DH wouldn't want another wife! He can barely please one. LOL.

Ajani · 04-18-2008, 11:57 AM

It is scripturally unsound wrt the New Testament. It goes against God's plan for marriage and is adultry, consenting or not.

Babe in arms so mt typing is limited. I'm sure someone with2 hands ftee can share passages.

Hezzer · 04-18-2008, 12:23 PM

Since you couched your question in terms of "Christian polygamy" then the answer is no - regardless of my personal feelings (though for the record, I am opposed).

To be Christian, you must be living in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ. Jesus restated his father’s words back in the garden of Eden when he said in Matthew 19: 4-6: 4 In reply he said: “Did YOU not read that he who created them from [the] beginning made them male and female 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? 6 So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart.”

The apostle Paul reiterated that teaching in Ephesians 5:28-31: 28 In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, 29 for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave [his] father and [his] mother and he will stick to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

To even hold privileges in the congregation the requirement was that you must have only one wife as shown in 1 Timothy 3:2: 2 The overseer should therefore be irreprehensible, a husband of one wife . . .

Those who practice polygamy often justify it by referring to what is recorded in the Hebrew scriptures (Old Testament). But it was clearly not God’s original purpose when he created Adam and gave him just one wife, Eve, as said in Genesis 2:24: That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.”

The practice of polygamy did not originate with God. The first mention of it was when Lamech, a descendant of Cain, took two wives. But when the flood of Noah’s day came, Noah and his three sons only had one wife each. The polygamists were all killed in the flood.

Centuries later, when God chose the Israelites as his people, the practice already existed among them – though the more common practice was only one wife. He did not break up families at that time, but instead regulated it. Clearly it was only temporary because the formation of the Christian congregation ended it. At that time, the standard of marriage returned to what he had instituted in the beginning.

elocinintherain · 04-18-2008, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hezzer

Since you couched your question in terms of "Christian polygamy" then the answer is no - regardless of my personal feelings (though for the record, I am opposed).

To be Christian, you must be living in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ.
...

Hezzer,
That is true... however, I have been told that several scriptures seem to have no problem with polygamy... A quick search gave me a few:

"If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his." Deuteronomy 21:15-17.

"If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish." Exodus 21:10.

"And in that day
seven women shall take hold of one man,
saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel:
only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach. " Isaiah 4:1.

"Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. ...While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; ...And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage:" Matthew 25:1-2,5-6c,10a-c (See verses 1-13).

So, I guess it really is just a matter of who interprets which verse as what? Anyways, thank you Hezzer, and all the rest of you ladies, for your input... this thread is quite interesting!

HOLLAND · 04-18-2008, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sirrahved

My personal beliefs are that God created marriage between one man and one woman.

PBLayzod · 04-18-2008, 03:13 PM

I can see the benefit of having a friend to share the responsibilities of family and home, but I wouldn't personally want to share my husband. It also seems that there is always a tendency to arrange marriages amoung very young girls in these sorts of groups. So no, I don't have a problem with it in theory, but yes, I have a very big problem with it in practice.

I think religious cults are very dangerous regardless of the number of wives allowed. Being raised in one, I know first had how difficult it is to adjust to the outside world after the experience.

Hezzer · 04-18-2008, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elocinintherain

Hezzer,
That is true... however, I have been told that several scriptures seem to have no problem with polygamy... A quick search gave me a few:

"If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his." Deuteronomy 21:15-17.

"If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish." Exodus 21:10.

"And in that day
seven women shall take hold of one man,
saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel:
only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach. " Isaiah 4:1.

"Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. ...While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; ...And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage:" Matthew 25:1-2,5-6c,10a-c (See verses 1-13).

So, I guess it really is just a matter of who interprets which verse as what? Anyways, thank you Hezzer, and all the rest of you ladies, for your input... this thread is quite interesting!

To gain true Christian beliefs, we must look at the Christian Greek scriptures (New Testament).

The books of Genesis through Malachi fall under the Hebrew Scriptures. Matthew through Revelation fall under the Christian Greek Scriptures.

Except for Matthew, all the scriptures you quoted were from the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament). As I already mentioned, polygamy during that time was tolerated and even regulated by God - though it never originated with him. And it was done away with with at the advent of Christianity.

The only scripture you quoted which is from the Christian Greek scriptures is the one in Matthew. If you're familiar with the scripture or if you read the context, it is clear that it is a parable or illustration meant to be understood in symbolic terms. Jesus provided many of these through the Gospel accounts. Depending on your religion, I'm sure there are various interpretations of what that particular one means. The intepretation isn't necesssary for the clarification, though.

A little research into wedding ceremonies during Bible times reveals that these "ten virgins" were not waiting for him as his *their* bridegroom.

Though there were no formal wedding ceremonies, they were cause for a joyous celebration. There was actually a procession from the groom's parent's home to the bride's parents home. He would be escorted by friends and family and even onlookers would join in the festivities. Attendants were there to meet him and would enter into the home and celebrate the marriage.

Again, the ten virgins in this illustration are symbolic and weren't meant to be taken literally, but if one chose to ignore the context, a little insight into the wedding ceremonies of the day clarifies the understanding.

Hezzer · 04-18-2008, 04:16 PM

Anonykat ~ Where did your post go?

I started mine a while ago, before you posted yours, but had to come back later to finish, so I didn't see your post until after I clicked submit.

I was going to say that we were on the same wavelength.

Anonykat · 04-18-2008, 04:19 PM

I thought your answer was much more cohesive than mine, so I decided to simplify things by just having one answer.

If anyone wants to argue with you, I might post it again.