Circumcision? - Page 3

Purple_monkfish · 07-07-2008, 12:21 PM

We didn't, it's not the done thing in the UK OR my home country NZ unless it's for religious or medical reasons.

It's your decision in the end. Personally i'm against the whole thing but I wont start judging others for what they decide to do, you know?
Just don't be tempted by the silly argument "oh he wont look like his daddy/friends" because honestly.. what kid looks at their father's or friend's penises? It just isn't done heh. Least i've never known a boy to compair his bits to his dad's.. that's kinda.. freaky and weird to be honest.

for the record, the mention of circumcision makes my man wince haahaha. He's so cute.
He yelps and covers his own bits as if i'm gonna whip a knife out or something, it's so funny. Men aye?

In the end, your call.. Just look into the risks etc etc. It's still very common in the US but as I said, in NZ and the UK it's just not the done thing.

HippieMama76 · 07-07-2008, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purple_monkfish
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Just don't be tempted by the silly argument "oh he wont look like his daddy/friends" because honestly.. what kid looks at their father's or friend's penises? It just isn't done heh. Least i've never known a boy to compair his bits to his dad's.. that's kinda.. freaky and weird to be honest.

I know a lot of people circ for that reason - so the son will look like his father. Not judging - do what works for your family. I just wanted to share why that line of reasoning didn't 'work' for my family:

In my mind, people look different. I mean, my mom is an A/B cup, where I have always been very curvy (wearing a D cup even at 5'4" and 120 lbs.). We've changed in front of each other many times so I know that we have different colored/shaped nipples/areolae as well.

FTR, my mom has green eyes and I have blue. Neither breasts nor eyes ever seemed to be a concern to me.

Stacie M · 07-07-2008, 12:52 PM

DH is circ'd, but if/when we ever have a son, he will not be.

I actually never thought about the issue at all until my nephew (now 8 yrs old) was born and his circ was botched. They wouldn't redo it without general anesthesia (being put under), so it had to wait until he was 12 months. After that happened I became much more aware of the issue and my views became quite different. I saw firsthand the pain associated with it, and knew the risks of general anesthesia and felt it was really unnecessary.

I honestly think there are so many myths and misinformation about an uncirc'd penis that a lot of people who aren't familiar (I wasn't) have no idea what to expect as far as looks, cleaning, etc.

Stacie M · 07-07-2008, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purple_monkfish
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Just don't be tempted by the silly argument "oh he wont look like his daddy/friends" because honestly.. what kid looks at their father's or friend's penises? It just isn't done heh. Least i've never known a boy to compair his bits to his dad's.. that's kinda.. freaky and weird to be honest.

ITA! I actually figure that if an uncut son saw a cut dad's bits and pieces, the cut/uncut part would probably be the least of his questions. My guess would be that most questions a child would have would be more along the lines of pubic hair and size difference. After all, a child's genitalia looks far different than an adults, whether circ'd or not.

canadiangirlttc · 07-07-2008, 01:00 PM

Hmmm Im not sure I agree with the fact some ladies dont think their son's will look and be curious at their daddy's penis? Im not sure about you all but I remember as a little girl being curious about my mommy's boobies and why my mommy had hair down there and I didnt? It's a fact of life, kids are very curious ...

Circ or un-circ, I think a little boy will at some point watch his dad pee when he is potty training to show him how big boys do it in the toilet, some parents also bathe with their children and kids ask questions ..

Some children are visual learners after all
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In regards to the "friends" I know many boys that were un-circ and embarassed to shower with their friends after gym class or hockey practice. Now that they are adults they dont care but kids are uncomfortable with their bodies, especially if they are different.

I still believe it's a highly personal decision .. dont get me wrong.
Regardless whether or not you choose to do it is entirely your decision

After all, it IS your baby!!

HippieMama76 · 07-07-2008, 01:05 PM

Oh yeah, without a doubt children are going to look and be curious. I'm just saying that it's not going to freak them out if they don't match.

Stacie M · 07-07-2008, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HippieMama76
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Oh yeah, without a doubt children are going to look and be curious. I'm just saying that it's not going to freak them out if they don't match.

That is what I was trying to say as well. Let's be honest, a prepubescent boy and an adult man aren't going to "match" no matter what their circ status is. And, IMHO, if DH and I have a son and he wants to know why DH's looks different, it seems pretty simple to me to point out that daddy is different because he had surgery, rather than making the child feel like the one that is different for being born that way.

As far as locker rooms go, I think we all know that teasing will take place for whatever reason. I just think it seems that most boys/teens would not make fun of another boys penis. After all, what boy wants to admit he was looking at another boy's penis in the first place? Also, the fact that the stats are close to 50/50 in the U.S., I figure surely my son wouldn't be the only boy who is uncut.

FWIW, when I was growing up, I knew two (twin) boys who were a year or so older than me (they are close to 30 now). They were uncut, which I heard about through the grapevine as they were both considered pretty attractive and had lots of "activity" in school. I never heard them made fun of, and as far as I know they didn't get flack about being uncut.

Stacie M · 07-07-2008, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadiangirlttc
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In regards to the "friends" I know many boys that were un-circ and embarassed to shower with their friends after gym class or hockey practice. Now that they are adults they dont care but kids are uncomfortable with their bodies, especially if they are different.

I think many kids are uncomfortable with their bodies for whatever reason, but I don't think that you should circumcise with the hopes of preventing teasing. Most kids at some point in time will have some issues with how they look. It's a part of growing up, sadly.

I think the part we need to work on is the idea that uncircumcised is "different" in the first place. Especially given the current stats.

canadiangirlttc · 07-07-2008, 01:50 PM

Oh dont get me wrong, I didnt say these boys were made fun of in school, I said that they were embarassed and insecure because they were different...

like I said .. to each their own, after all it's your child right?

academium · 07-07-2008, 02:02 PM

We did not circumcize our son because all the research we did said it was medically unnecessary. Plus we didn't think it was our right to permanently alter a part of his body like that.

Purple_monkfish · 07-07-2008, 03:16 PM

Heh, Nah.. guys have this unwritten etiquette about looking at another man's bits. I should find the rules of the urinal animation, that's pretty damned amusing.

Anyway,

I've only had one bf who was cut, he was Iranian I believe. Can't say I ever really noticed a difference heh.
My mother informs me that she prefers her current husband's cut bits (yeah, she tells me this sort of thing... hahah) but I think she's just saying that lol.

I've never ever noticed a difference, it actually took me a while to realise my bf was done lol. That's how much attention I pay to schlongs! lol.

I don't recall ever compairing my body to my mother's when I was growing up.. but then I was one of those little girls who's body grew up too fast and desperately clung to her childhood in retaliation. Stupid early puberty grrr.
I think men are a little more private about their bits to be honest. It's odd but it's something i've noticed. Guys don't seem to like to discuss private things while women are happy to gossip about their sex lives with their group of friends. It's so funny.

thirteen · 07-07-2008, 03:56 PM

The locker room argument was a stronger arugment when the majority of boys in the US were still circ'd. The last stats I saw said the rate was about 60% circ and 40% uncirc so by the time our little ones get to the locker room, nearly half the kids will be one way and half the other - which leaves very little reason to tease or feel awkward.

I think the reason this topic gets a little nasty is because people start arguing the points back & forth. I've been impressed that this thread has gone on this long without any arguing and I'm hoping it continues that way as everyone states their preference and reason without arguing over who's right.
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For the PP who asked about care, I just wanted to add my 2 cents. My OB did the circ while we were in the hospital and used anesthetic. When DS came back to our room he was in good spirits and there was a piece of gauze on his penis (under his diaper). At the next few changes we put triple antibiotic ointment on it and that was it. It healed within a week.

CAMMAM · 07-07-2008, 05:34 PM

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Originally Posted by tinkchen
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My son is uncut. My DH is uncut. I don't know about my dad but i know my brothers are cut as is my stepfather. The "cut status" of anyone else in the world would not have changed my and DH's decision. Guys don't go around comparing their penises and honestly the difference between daddy and little boy can easily be explained by saying one is an adult penis, the other is a little boy penis. I have never compared labia with any woman, and would be a little weirded out by any woman that tried to. The same with every man I know.

I wouldn't circumcise my son or any future children because
1. I believe it isn't any better than female circumcision. I will not cause unnecessary pain to my children whether it is forgotten or not- I am the protector of this child and this mama lion will not someone hurt him- especially for something primarily cosmetic.
2. I will not make a decision about my child's body like that. Dh and I don't believe it is our right. I wouldn't give him a tattoo and I won't cut his body. If he wants to later- that is his decision. I won't pierce a daughters ears either until she can make that decision herself.
3. I do not believe there are ANY good reasons to do it. The whole infection/HIV reason is bunk- very shoddy studies with little relevance in modernized countries. And honestly any son of mine better damn well be smart enough (at the very least well enough informed- which is my job) to wear a condom if he is going to have risky sex.
4. I have never known an uncut man who had to be cut later in life, but i have known MANY men/boys who had to have botched circs redone.
5. It is NOT a useless piece of skin, there is a biological reason it exists. The penis is an INTERNAL organ it is covered in pretty much all male mammals. If it were pointless men would have evolved to not have one, or if you believe in creation, why would God (or whatever terrible or benevolent higher power) have put something pointless on men?

I agree that everyone needs to make the decision for themselves. Whether or not I agree with the procedure! I don't condemn anyone who has it done on their sons- this is just my reasoning why I won't.

I agree with everything said here too! My husband is cut and he is adament that his son be cut too but he doesnt have a reason other than that is what he wants. I am praying that this one is a girl so we dont have to fight about it when the baby is born. But when it comes down to it and the baby is born a boy I will probably back down cause it is not worth a fight that I will probably lose in the end.

MommytoBronwyn · 07-07-2008, 06:37 PM

OK, what about care for a penis that isn't cut? Do you have the pull the skin back to clean it? Is there some concern about it becoming stuck? I am doing alot of reading up on this but its nice to hear from moms that have experience.

Legal Eagle · 07-07-2008, 06:57 PM

We will circ if we have a boy because we are Jewish. But I've researched it and I personally think it is safe, or else even religion wouldn't make me do it.