Clinical versus "normal response to abnormal events"

calmwaters · 12-18-2007, 03:09 AM

Please be gentle with me, I am afraid of mental illness; yes, I know better; no I am not insensitive, or a jerk.

That being said:
How do you know the difference between clinical depression and/or hypomania and normal emotional responses to life events? Is it the degree or duration of the response? How do you know it's not related to PCOS hormone fluctuations (insulin, testosterone, estrogen, progesterone) or psychological "hormone" fluctuations (neurotransmitters; GABA, seratonin, dopamine, norepinephrine)?

Background:
My mom has a PHD in psych and has literally diagnosed almost every person in the family (except herself) with some psych disorder or another. Of course, this is not good practice... to diagnose your family/friends. It has caused a lot of alienation. Also, it so happens on both my maternal and paternal side of the family that PCOS type female disorders (before PCOS was a commonly diagnosed thing) are prevalent for several generations.

Well, one day when I was 19 my mom and dad kidnapped me and tried to have me committed to a mental ward of a hospital (rubber room and all). It was all unfounded, they claimed I was using drugs and had a gun and was suicidal. NONE OF WHICH was EVER true in the slightest regard. It was really weird where they came up with that. Anyway, they had wanted me to be committed against my will, medicated, and then released to their care indefinietly. At 19 I was having none of that. The hospital had to release me due to showing no signs of mental instability or intention of harming myself.

Current:
Fast forward 10 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS a month ago. I had been having PCOS symptoms for 6 months prior (probably more vague symptoms for a few years before that... in retrospect). It all started with the emotional symptoms some cysters get: anxiety, dysphoria, feeling disconnected, almost agoraphobia, palpitations, weight gain spurt, irregular periods, extreme PMS, depression (All after an extremely stressful 6 month span and I was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood by my therapist).

Well, now it is winter and cold and dark and I am frigging tired of it and I'm feeling depressed (I've always had a tendency for Seasonal Affective Disorder, since a child). So I'm reading your posts about depression. I really can identify with some of your descriptions of mood swings and such. So I started googling mental disorders like dysthymic disorder, depression and bipolar (because of my past horrible experience with the attempted kindapped hospitalization, I generally avoid learning much about these things so this is a big step for me). I came across cyclothymia and really identified with that. It freaks me out!!! For the last 10 years I've been hypersensitive and hypervigilant to any mood swings I might have had... for fear my parents were right and my mom diagnosed me correctly.

I am a highly functional person, successful at accomplishing my goals, always keep a steady job (almost to a fault do I work, work, work, prove, prove, prove). I've always been told I have a really good head on my shoulders. I realize the 20's are a time of repeated transitions and over time I have taken certain transitions more difficultly, but still successfully. I've had various counselors over the years reassure me I am not bipolar and I don't need meds. But then again, I started each therapist session with, "Oh my gosh I just can't be bipolar can I?!" Like it was the end of the world or something.

My question is, how do YOU know when you need something to help you function? I am questioning it for myself, but then, over the years I go through those phases and then "get over it". I am taking this PCOS diagnosis seriously, and am actually relieved about it and in treatment. But I am turning 30 soon and also going through some biologcal clock issues too, I think. Basically, I want to pack up with my DH and move 3000 miles away, and quit working altogether and sleep in every day. That sounds depressed to me. Sorry so long. Thanks for any imput.

Kryptonit · 12-18-2007, 04:01 AM

*gives a hug*

I can imagen that with your history you must have a feer of mental illness and also might read in to much in your feelings. I know I would.

PCOS is not an easy diagnosis to get and I was really depressed after that that for a long time and still am from time to time. Its just though and it's ok to feel that way. A lot of us do.

I would seek professonal help if I feelt that my mood was getting out of hand and I coulden't cope in my life. But I could really see how that would be hard for you to do. But if you really feel you got problems that what you have to do.

If you realise that its just the blues and vinter darkness siberian ginseng and arctic root really can help. I take that and that has really given me my mind back too me. I feel stronger and happier.

Good Luck!

calmwaters · 12-20-2007, 02:15 AM

Thanks Helena! I appreciate your response. I found out tody that my insurance does not cover a light therapy box - as I was hopng they would. I wanted to give that a try. I know in the past when I've had the winter blues I've gone tanning in a UV bed with positive temporary results. I may try your suggestions. Or tough it out.

I did seek help when my first emotional/mental symptoms came up in the beginning of summer. My counselor reassured me I am not bipolar. But would they tell you otherwise if they think you are... if they know because you've told them... it's the last thing you want to hear? Anyway, counseling helped. And certainly, getting the diagnosis of PCOS helped. I think I've got two things going on:

1) Seasonal affective disorder
2) PCOS hormone fluctuations and mood swings.

Now, I don't know if there is a hormonal chain reaction where if your sex hormones are off, perhaps it eventually affects your neurotransmitters which is what causes true cases of depression/bipolar and other mental illnesses.

Maybe long term imbalance of all of the above, causes the need for SSRI medications or other antidepressants, anticonvulsants,etc. Personally, I think that many many doctors take the simple, cheap and easy way out when prescribing antidepressants and anxiolytics (and desperate patients comply). My doc suggested antidepressants when my symptoms cropped up, but given my background and aversion to being medicated, I insisted there was an underlying reason for my change in mood, affect and behavior. And I insisted she look into it. And she did. Now, imagine if I'd have just said, "Oh yes, Xaxax please, Prozac please... I cannot feel like this another day!" Perhaps, I would never have found out I have PCOS. My doc certainly wasn't suspicious or concerned about PCOS.

Binxsmommy · 12-20-2007, 04:50 AM

I think you bring up interesting points about a homrone/PCOS connection to depression and other mental health issues. At this time there is not enough known about PCOS for all the kinks to be worked out. Heck some Drs don't even recognize it as a syndrome. I guess they weren't listning the days about hormone/pitutary and all those other mind altering things that can happen due to hormonal problems like PCOS. Once PCOS is accepted as a disease "accross the board" they will then get serious about picking it apart and dealing with all the symptoms. Some wonderful person will figure out everything and a pill will cure it. Not in my lifetime but hoefully in my DD's.

I must say once I started Celexa I was very skeptical I felt like you. Then when it took 2 weeks to feel any different I knew these stupid anti-depressents were not going to work.Then I started to feel better....my outlook on life changed back to a more postive one rather then a negative one. I was generally feeling better.

That said if your concerned that it is more of an issue w/ hormones my guess would be to start there. Start w/ a lifestyle change (maybe add some vitamins, cinnamon or other natural substances) BUT I must say when I was "depressed" I wasn't interested in eating right, exercise or anything that would "help" my hormoes until I started the Celexa. After the 2 week period I mentioned above I was more willing to exercise and eat right.

It seems like 99.9% of the world is on an anti-depressent of some sort and I do feel it is "overperscribed" due to some Drs. wanting the "easy way out". I also think that some people should be further diagnosed rather then sent out the door with a perscription for an anti-depressent but some people they do help. Most of the time if someone wants to stop taking an anti-depressent they are able to wean off of them.

I can also totally understand and respect what your parents put you through. Seems like they were the one's who needed to be DX and sent to the ward.

The problem is that basically everyone can be DX w/ some form of mental disorder depending on the Dr, the situation or the frame of mind one is in at that time. We all have "quirks" or pet peeves and you can almost bet your life on it that for every quirk we all have it can be "linked" to some form of depression/mania/ADD/ADHD/OCD/PPD......

calmwaters · 12-20-2007, 02:22 PM

Many thanks for your insight and kindness. I really hesitate to mess with my brain chemistry when so much of my other chemistry is off! Thanks many thanks!

Kryptonit · 12-21-2007, 04:28 PM

I think they would tell you I they though you had a mental disease.

The winter blues can be though enough. I get it too. In sweden you can buy your own sunlamp for about 250 euro.

I think that GP should have more of a plan when they prescribe "mood" pills. When I got Cipramil there was no follow up. I got better but now a year after I stopped taking them I'm back at the same spot. But I am afraid to start again since I know that can be in my way if I want/need to adopt some day in the future. But If I don't get better on my own I will go back on them. But since I upped my dose of Siberian ginseng and arctic root I feel like my happy self again. So far so good. I can really recommend that. I haven't heard about any sideeffects form those either.

Love Helena

VJP · 12-21-2007, 08:09 PM

I have clinical depression and my mom did diagnose it! Nothing like your mother, poor thing! I live at home, and depression runs in my family, so it was pretty easy for her to see. I think it started because I was grieving for someone I knew who committed suicide. So I was already in a sad pattern and I just couldn't stop and I was pushing away my friends and family, and I really couldn't enjoy anything which is totally not like me at all.
My doctor diagnosed me pretty quickly too. She has known me for years though, and on the day she diagnosed me, she asked me how I was and I burst into tears. Which I never do!
It took about three months and three different pills before I found one that worked for me, but I feel so much better.
Anyway, my doctor said that you bet that it is clinical if it your sad mood is abnormally long, if you can track your moods and they do not seem to be related to your cycle, if your friends and family and noticing, and if you have a family background. However, she did say for me that she just knew that I was not myself.
Do you have a regular doctor?