COBRA's running out soon, getting worried

*Jamila* · 04-13-2008, 12:43 PM

My DH is self-employed, and I quit my job to stay home with my now 20 month old son while doing some freelance writing, losing my corporate benefits. They got individual policies, but I got turned down for a regular policy and offered basically the plan for people in really awful health - at a cost of $1200 a MONTH. I went on COBRA at a mere $400/month and dedicated the last 16 months to losing weight, going off all meds, etc, in order to apply again.

Well, COBRA is up June 1, and I've started looking again. I even left out the fact that I have PCOS, since they can't prove that I do. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I've been off prescriptions. It doesn't matter that I feel great. What matters is that I took metformin over 2 years ago, even though I was never diagnosed as IR. That I had a high cholesterol reading a year ago. That I had fertility treatments to conceive my son. I could cry I'm so frustrated.

I've looked for small business associations in our fields that offer benefits, no luck so far. It's looking more and more like I'll have to go back to work, which I really really REALLY don't want to do. I'm having such joy being with my baby everyday. I just had a big fight with my DH about all this, blaming him for not having the skills to get a well-paying job with benefits.

Which I feel awful about, and just shows how depressed this all is making me.

Any ideas? Any at all?

KatCarney · 04-13-2008, 12:49 PM

Check out th stickies in the top of this forum. One of them has resources advocating for people with so-called 'chronic' conditions.

Anonykat · 04-13-2008, 12:55 PM

Starbucks offers benefits to part-time employees - benefits start at 20 hours a week. http://www.starbucks.com/aboutus/job...experience.asp Maybe 20 hours a week wouldn't be so bad, if you did it during hours when your DH could be with your baby?

And while I might get creamed with this, I actually don't think you're too far off base in griping at your hubby for not having a job with benefits. He has a family to look after. I am very pro- mom staying home with baby whenever possible, and since you want to do this, the man needs to take additional steps to ensure this. I would probably be doing the same thing in your shoes, honestly.

The only other thing I can think of is full-time overnights - some of the bigger grocery chain stores around here offer benefits that aren't too bad - maybe you could work while your babe sleeps and just try to nap when he does. My DH's job has great benefits, but I'm having to look at starting overnights myself, because we're just not making it as it is, even though we live in a tiiiiiiiny apartment and have no real luxuries to speak of. I don't know when I'll sleep, since I'll be up with our toddlers during the day, but sleep is for wimps, anyway.

Hope some of these suggestions help!

*Jamila* · 04-13-2008, 01:10 PM

I actually read that article in the NYT before I saw it up there. I tried all of the avenues it suggested and didn't find anything that we would qualify for in terms of group plans. And all the information about individual plans in my state (VA) says they can deny me, or in the case of the one company that has to accept me, they are allowed to do so by putting me in the "high risk pool" and there is no limit on what they will charge me.

I guess what I'm looking for are ideas of other places to look for group plans. I've looked at the Freelancers Union (don't qualify), the Small-Business Service Bureau (which I'm still waiting to hear back from, actually, so there's still a little hope there), the local Chamber of Commerce (don't offer benefits), the National Association for the Self-Employed (also still waiting to hear back from), there's no trade association for his line of work...hmm, I guess maybe I could see if there's one for my writing....

*Jamila* · 04-13-2008, 01:37 PM

Thanks, Anonykat. The irony is, of course, that he makes way more $$ now than he would in a job that offers benefits, so I'd absolutely HAVE to work just to make ends meet. We thought about all this before getting pregnant, of course, but I was in total la-la land about the difficulties qualifying for individual insurance with my history.

I'm not opposed to working PT/nights, except DH's crazy schedule means a regular evening thing (like Starbucks) probably wouldn't be an option. I was looking at something options overnights at our local UPS distribution center. Other than the embarassment of having a degree in a very cerebral field and hauling boxes....it's a possibility. DS still cosleeps and nurses at night, though, so I worry that leaving him then isn't really much better than leaving him during the day. Still an option, though.

04-13-2008, 12:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
Jamila Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Washington DC Posts: 19 Points: 575.22 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 575.22 Donate	COBRA's running out soon, getting worried My DH is self-employed, and I quit my job to stay home with my now 20 month old son while doing some freelance writing, losing my corporate benefits. They got individual policies, but I got turned down for a regular policy and offered basically the plan for people in really awful health - at a cost of $1200 a MONTH. I went on COBRA at a mere $400/month and dedicated the last 16 months to losing weight, going off all meds, etc, in order to apply again. Well, COBRA is up June 1, and I've started looking again. I even left out the fact that I have PCOS, since they can't prove that I do. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I've been off prescriptions. It doesn't matter that I feel great. What matters is that I took metformin over 2 years ago, even though I was never diagnosed as IR. That I had a high cholesterol reading a year ago. That I had fertility treatments to conceive my son. I could cry I'm so frustrated. I've looked for small business associations in our fields that offer benefits, no luck so far. It's looking more and more like I'll have to go back to work, which I really really REALLY don't want to do. I'm having such joy being with my baby everyday. I just had a big fight with my DH about all this, blaming him for not having the skills to get a well-paying job with benefits. Which I feel awful about, and just shows how depressed this all is making me. Any ideas? Any at all? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. TTC 24 months Anovulatory and Male Factor 4th cycle of Clomid 100 mg finally resulted in a BFP!

04-13-2008, 12:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
KatCarney SoulCyster #1 Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 16,797 My Mood: MyEbay : Points: 1,166,411.95 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 1,166,411.95 Donate	Check out th stickies in the top of this forum. One of them has resources advocating for people with so-called 'chronic' conditions. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. COMING SOON - The New Soulcysters! - CLICK TO READ!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

04-13-2008, 12:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
Anonykat I eated the whole thing? Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Pierre's recliner of rage Posts: 2,861 My Mood: Points: 202,885.57 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 202,885.57 Donate	Starbucks offers benefits to part-time employees - benefits start at 20 hours a week. http://www.starbucks.com/aboutus/job...experience.asp Maybe 20 hours a week wouldn't be so bad, if you did it during hours when your DH could be with your baby? And while I might get creamed with this, I actually don't think you're too far off base in griping at your hubby for not having a job with benefits. He has a family to look after. I am very pro- mom staying home with baby whenever possible, and since you want to do this, the man needs to take additional steps to ensure this. I would probably be doing the same thing in your shoes, honestly. The only other thing I can think of is full-time overnights - some of the bigger grocery chain stores around here offer benefits that aren't too bad - maybe you could work while your babe sleeps and just try to nap when he does. My DH's job has great benefits, but I'm having to look at starting overnights myself, because we're just not making it as it is, even though we live in a tiiiiiiiny apartment and have no real luxuries to speak of. I don't know when I'll sleep, since I'll be up with our toddlers during the day, but sleep is for wimps, anyway. Hope some of these suggestions help! __________________ If anyone needs me, I'll be in a van down by the river.

04-13-2008, 01:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Jamila Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Washington DC Posts: 19 Points: 575.22 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 575.22 Donate	I actually read that article in the NYT before I saw it up there. I tried all of the avenues it suggested and didn't find anything that we would qualify for in terms of group plans. And all the information about individual plans in my state (VA) says they can deny me, or in the case of the one company that has to accept me, they are allowed to do so by putting me in the "high risk pool" and there is no limit on what they will charge me. I guess what I'm looking for are ideas of other places to look for group plans. I've looked at the Freelancers Union (don't qualify), the Small-Business Service Bureau (which I'm still waiting to hear back from, actually, so there's still a little hope there), the local Chamber of Commerce (don't offer benefits), the National Association for the Self-Employed (also still waiting to hear back from), there's no trade association for his line of work...hmm, I guess maybe I could see if there's one for my writing.... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. TTC 24 months Anovulatory and Male Factor 4th cycle of Clomid 100 mg finally resulted in a BFP!

04-13-2008, 01:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
Jamila Registered User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Washington DC Posts: 19 Points: 575.22 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 575.22 Donate	Thanks, Anonykat. The irony is, of course, that he makes way more $$ now than he would in a job that offers benefits, so I'd absolutely HAVE to work just to make ends meet. We thought about all this before getting pregnant, of course, but I was in total la-la land about the difficulties qualifying for individual insurance with my history. I'm not opposed to working PT/nights, except DH's crazy schedule means a regular evening thing (like Starbucks) probably wouldn't be an option. I was looking at something options overnights at our local UPS distribution center. Other than the embarassment of having a degree in a very cerebral field and hauling boxes....it's a possibility. DS still cosleeps and nurses at night, though, so I worry that leaving him then isn't really much better than leaving him during the day. Still an option, though. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. TTC 24 months Anovulatory and Male Factor 4th cycle of Clomid 100 mg finally resulted in a BFP!

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