Coming Out

CindyLou · 12-10-2003, 04:30 PM

I know we've talked a bit about coming out to so's if we're bi - but what about just coming out in general?

I have yet to tell my family I'm gay. I've started to a million times - then I freeze. I know I'm not the only one out there with this problem (I've been reading a lot of coming out stories on other sites) - but maybe for those of us that just lurk in the shadows on this part of the site can use the information those of you who have come out can share.

CindyLou

caraeileen · 12-10-2003, 09:56 PM

As a young adult, ‘coming out’ to my parents was my biggest struggle. I knew they wouldn’t understand and I feared their rejection. While talking to a friend, I realized ‘closeting’ myself didn’t allow my parents to make their own decisions about my lifestyle. I was also denying them of ever truly knowing me. They were disappointed, but took the news better than I expected them to. Years later, there are still things left unsaid, but my parents try their hardest to love and accept me as I am. And I appreciate that more than I know how to say.

CindyLou · 12-10-2003, 11:18 PM

Thanks Caraeileen - I only hope I can tell my family. Both my parents are gone now (both died younger than they should have) and it's just us "kids" now - I use that term loosely - the oldest is 51 and the youngest (me) is 35. I haven't been on great terms with my siblings in the last few years - mainly because I figured I knew they wouldn't understand. Now I just want to have some kind of relationship with them before it's too late. My aunt (my mom's sister) is the only one on my mom's side that's still alive - and I think it's kind of sad that the two of them weren't a little closer.

How did you say it? This is the part that's hard for me - I've been "rehearsing" for days. I almost want to "cheat" and do it in a group e-mail - but that seems way too easy.

missmelanie23 · 12-12-2003, 11:13 AM

i'm out with my bicuriousity.. but i think it helps that I can tell my parents anything. I'm very open with everyone, basically have the "i have nothing to hide" attitude. Though with me, my parents basically approached me about it with their suspicions. I have a friend who's lesbian and i keep telling my parents the wise cracks she makes that makes me laugh. I guess my parents realised how happy I was hanging out with her and since my brother is 18 and not very accepting of any of my choices, they wanted to know to prepare him for anything.

It was easy for me, and they are very accepting. I figure they've been through things too, particularly not this but in each generations there are things that parents have got to understand. and with me, its interacial dating and bi-sexuality. who knows maybe its more than curiousness but i'm glad they are open about it.

CindyLou, no matter how many times you rehearse it, it won't happen that way. I know its hard to face but like you said, they've got to know. It may help rebuild relationships with your sibblings, but what ever happens, you came out and did what you could, the rest is in their hands. Good luck hon.

Mel

Little_Lady · 01-03-2004, 03:21 PM

I found that alcohol helped me lol.I've tried several times to explain to my family that im bisexual.My dad's accepted it and is cool about it.He already knew anyway.Apparently he saw me kissing this girl at a family party.My mum/nan etc still think its 'just a phase ill grow out of'.They don't see how i can like women if i have had boyfriends.Chances are they probably have an idea anyway even if they choose to ignore it.There is no easy way of 'coming out'.Guess its just plucking up the courage and coming out with it.I felt better when i came out even tho some ppl refused to accept it.I'd said my bit.My friends are great about it.The thing that i found hardest was that as soon as ppl know im bisexual they assume i fancy them.WHY?! lol.BTW,I came out to my work colleagues last night.I kinda dread going to work monday.Sadly in this day & age,ppl assume bisexual = slapper

Best of luck xx