Since i met my partner about 3/4 yrs ago, ive never had the confidence to go on top (yes i know...) ive only went on top once and quickly just came off him again, he is always on top and always the one that works up the sweat while i just lie there... i know he would really like me to take control, i really would love to do this, but its a confidence issue and i cant seem to go on top, does anyone else know what i mean??
My partner has never actually saw me totally naked either, he has saw bits of me here and there naked, but not me standing completely naked...id love to just lie in bed with him with nothing on but again, i cant cause i dont have the confidence, the thing is i know he loves me the way i am, it seems to be a mental block thats stopping me. Please help me because its effecting everything.
honey, I know how you feel. I've been married to my husband for alittle over 2 years, he's seen me naked of course but I still feel uncomfortable. I believe he won't care what you look like naked if he loves you uncondionally. Good Luck to you!!!
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Skylar Jayden~Forever in our hearts~ m/c July 2006
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Diagnosed with PCOS Jan 2006
Provera~10mg Metformin~2000mg Feel free to add me on Myspace
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Hugs I used to have that problem. Turn off the lights and put a pillow over his face (yes I did this to DH when he wanted me to sit all the way up on him and I didnt want him to see all my fat) but im passed it but i do know how you feel.
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I didnt mind being on top but I didnt like sitting all the way up so he could see everything so I said I didnt wanna unless I had a shirt on which he didnt like so he said fine turn off the lights and i said thats not enough so i covered his face.. finally got over it after being together for over 3 years but still am self consious
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Boy do I know how you feel!
Even when I was at "normal" weight I lacked body confidence. Now not only do I have weight issues, but I have scars left behind from my skin disease (Hidradenitis Suppurativa). I look like a chunky, pale, purple-spotted leopard! With stretchmarks!
I got over my fears with my partner by the "sink or swim" method. I just did it. I shut my eyes and let him turn on the lights. To my shock he didn't react with horror at all! He loves me after all; leopard spots and all!
"On top" is another issue I had to conquer. That was even more horrifying for me to do naked! We eased into that one. Lights off at first until I was finally comfortable enough to have them on. I won't lie, I still feel occasional twinges of self-doubt, but I'm working on that.
We see ourselves so much more harshly than others do. Especially those that love us. I do know this much to be true!
Dana
__________________ Me (33)/Michael (3o) Together for almost nine long, happy years!
First PCOS dx: 1989 Supplements: One A Day Weight Smart, B Complex, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid (B5), B12, Saw Palmetto, Vit C, Vit D3, NAC, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Chromium Piconolate, Cinnamon, Magnesium, EPO, Zinc Gluconate, Green Tea Diet: "Modified" Zone plan
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her" -Anon.
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I think what she is talking about is, basically you are on top and then you sit up. Your not laying on him, your like kneeling.
Do you understand.
All I would say is turn off the lights and make him close his eyes, or close yours.
The only time I really don't want DH to look at me is when I'm...you know...at that point. (I'm sure I make a funny face LOL) And silly me closes my eyes....like that makes him not see me...but it helps me.
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When I was first with dh ( in 93),I thought to myself.."let's get it over with" So I was completely nude..I thought It was better to know how he felt before we got too serious..Problem was,I had gained a large amount of weight in a short period of time and my hips and stomach had HUGE pink stretch marks,It was horrible..He asked me about it,and I was honest..I mean if you can't be honest with the guy you're sleeping with..........
Anyways,He took his clothes of,and showed me his scars,,He had his thumb basically reattached after a metal cot incident,and he was squashed in half by a pipe..( so bad they were'nt sure if he'd ever walk again)..And he told me.."we all have our scars to bear,and no one is perfect,"We spent most of the night talking about "bad things" that had happened and I just fell in love with him..I suggest being candid with your partner and if he truly cares he will not only understand,he will appreciate the vulnerability you show him..We are only human after all... Kim
What about a blindfold. That could be fun for him to not be able to see, but at the same time...so he 'can't' see you.
Oh that's a good one! Blindfolds can be fun!
Er, so I hear
Dana
__________________ Me (33)/Michael (3o) Together for almost nine long, happy years!
First PCOS dx: 1989 Supplements: One A Day Weight Smart, B Complex, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid (B5), B12, Saw Palmetto, Vit C, Vit D3, NAC, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Chromium Piconolate, Cinnamon, Magnesium, EPO, Zinc Gluconate, Green Tea Diet: "Modified" Zone plan
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her" -Anon.
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I know what you gals mean. I don't mind being naked, but I don't have the strength & stamina to last very long. My short lil legs just can't do it *L*.
I've always been self conscience about my body even with clothes on, but if you can't feel comfortable around your spouse/bf who can you? With all the doctors poking & probing us for PCOS, babies, etc....being naked at home should be a piece of cake.
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Walk around your room or house naked (alone of course). Sooner or later, you'll become more comfortable in your skin! Start off with that and see how it works. It helps me. :-)