amy,x

Hi Girls,
I'm Amy and I was diagnosed with PCOS at the age of 13, since then my confidence has plumetted to the ground level. I am 15 now and I hate how envious I am of my friends wearing short summer dresses, or being able to go shopping without any hassle (why do some stupid stores stop their sizes at like a 10?)
I just never feel confident, I'm so glad i have found this webstie because nobody i know truely understands what its like. Any advice on how to overcome the lack of self asteem?

x

Megtut

amy,x

thanks, i just hate that i cant change.
for a while i started making myself sick after eating, but that didnt work.
so i decided to stop eating, but that didnt work either.
my friends aren't true friends, i think that is why i am so unhappy.
i just dont seem to fit in with them, because my life isn't defined by alcohol and boys.
x

andi5285

I've been where you are at. Kinda still am sadly... I've had some steady friends since 7th grade. Pretty much all of us have been chubby at some point. I am the only one with PCOS that I know of, but regardless I was kind of lucky to have friends that "get it". I say KIND OF LUCKY because I think we also fed each others insecurities and enabled bad behavior. Also, they have always put much more emphasis on outward appearances and boys and partying and all that than I have, which gave me a bit of a complex. I was officially dx'd when I was 15. It all started around 13/14 years old for me, gained a lot of weight in a short period of time, periods stopped, etc. I had a hard time with drs because I was so young they didn't really want to treat me.

What I wish I had done when I was 15 is really start to take care of myself. I don't know if you exercise or what type of diet you follow but take my word for it, do it now! Do not put it off! My friends and I loved to go out to eat and I didn't want to feel left out so I ate what they ate and now I am paying the price at age 24. High school can be rough for everyone, but even worse when you are overweight. However, what I have learned the hard way is that college is worse than HS. I wish I had fixed the problem when I first learned about it. I could have saved myself years of being too afraid to do anything, go to class, talk to people, really engage myself in the college experience all because I felt too fat and unworthy. FELT is the key word. I spent two years in therapy, failed several classes or withdrew altogether, and wasted more money than I care to think about. It makes me so sad to think that at 15 and 200 pounds I could have done so much more and saved myself so much time and heartache.

Bottom line, no matter what size you are there's always going to be a style that looks better on someone else. There are always going to be shallow people out there. We have no control over anyone but ourselves. Take care of yourself and you will be a confident, happier you. You don't have to look like a model for people to like you. I am a size 22 right now, my highest weight was 308 (eek) and I still managed to be a vice president in my service fraternity and take on other leadership roles. It required taking risks on my part, because I believed people wouldn't like me because of my appearance. Truth is people do judge, and some people didn't pay much attn to me maybe for that reason (never cared to ask), but those people don't matter. There were plenty others who didn't care one bit. Doing things that are important to me make me feel better about myself. Helping others does wonders for self esteem (and volunteering is a great way to meet people that are like minded). Most importantly if people aren't treating you with respect and love cut them loose. Seek out people that accept you the way you are and never settle for less. Don't worry so much about fitting in. Take care of yourself, do things you enjoy, focus on school, and the rest will all fall into place.

__________________

Megtut

NikkiSaves

This all is really helping me through it. I am usually not even bothered by the fact that I have PCOS, but lately it's all I've been thinking about and it's been hurting me on the inside. I am so glad that I'm not the only one going through this.

But the worst thing is, no matter how much you tell your friends, they will never feel or know what it's like to be like us. And I try not to dwell on the bad things, but just that feeling has been sticking with me, and it's just really hard. I mean, really really hard.

Megtut

haileymoose

I sympathize with your situation, high school was awful! People can be very cruel and it's hard to try to rationalize bad behavior when it's pointed in your direction. (which can be a completely different situation all together when its not directed to you!) You're also very young, so its going to be difficult for people to empathize with you when they aren't experiencing it and they have so much more on their agenda... sad but true. It gets easier, and finding people that are walking in your shoes that you can vent to can really help. And instead of dwelling on the negative aspect of their behavior or your situation just worry about you for a little while. Find things you enjoy, volunteer work is an awesome idea because your odds of connecting with compassionate people are much higher then walking through your high school halls.

Start incorporating excercise into your daily routine, it'll make you feel better physically and emotionally. The weather is starting to warm up, go for a hike, go fishing, learn something new. There is so much that the world has to offer but its hard to start off and get established. But by starting out now you'll find that you'll be a more centered, happy you at the end of the day if your living for yourself and not how other people look at you.

Besides, as we all know, the people who look down on others are usually the most miserable ugly old people this world has to offer. So feel good about the fact that you can be like 60 and smokin hot... kinda like that wierd boflex commercial. hahaha

kanwalful

Don't be sad. High school kids are pretty much stupid. They have shallow lives that revolve around absolute nothingness. You should know that you're lucky enough not to be stuck in the rut and you have something that makes you realize life is bigger than alcohol, parties and short skirts.
Moreover, there are sooooo many styles out there that I'm sure will do wonders for the kind of beautiful figure you have. Just because you're big doesnt make you any less beautiful than skinny girls. I know for a fact many guys absolutely DIG big girls. So you know you have nothing to worry about where looks are concerned.
SMILE

rock_sister

Hi Amy! I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way in high school. Kids were making fun of me since I was about 5, actually. Kids are so freakin' cruel, man. They have ruined my self-esteem Now, though, I'm starting to embrace who I am. And you also have to surround yourself with good people; people that accept you and love you for who you are. For the past couple of years I've been reevaluating things, and now I have people around me that care about me and support me. My best friends are like my brothers and sisters, I can't live without them. They've helped me get through so much, both with the PCOS and the thyroid problems, but with personal issues as well. You gotta have that good inner circle because when you have people like that, you can do anything