coping?

VegSteph · 06-03-2004, 07:44 PM

Hi all,

This is my first time to this part of the mb as I just suffered my 1st m/c this week. I was about 6 weeks.

I'm still in shock and kind of numb. I have no idea how to cope. Since this was my first pregnancy, we made the mistake of telling a bunch of people right away. So now we have to tell everyone the bad news.

One minute I'm crying and the next minute I'm running around like an idiot trying to keep busy so I don't have to think about it.

I think one of the hardest parts is always trying to think about what caused it. I know you shouldn't think like that, although I think with PCOS it's a little different than with 'normal' women.

Mich831 · 06-03-2004, 11:13 PM

Hi,

I am so sorry for your loss. I just wanted to say that I've been where you are. My first PG ended in a MC at 7w3d (we saw a flicker of a HB). And we told all our family and friends too. It's just such a happy time. I got PG through IVF. It was our first time doing IVF and it worked. It was SO hard to get through the days sometimes. We had 5 frozen little embies and in March we put 3 back and we were VERY blessed. Our 5 month old son is now chatting up a storm with his Daddy.
Try to pamper yourself and just know that as time goes by it does somehow get a little easier. I still think about my little baby that I lost.
I am sure your friends and family will be there for you.
And just know that you will have a little one someday. You're already a Mom.
These boards helped me a lot too. I didn't post often but reading other stories really helped.

Good Luck to you.

Michele

lots_of_dots · 06-04-2004, 02:55 AM

((((big hugs Stephanie))))

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray god gives you the strength to get through this sad time. You and your dh are in my thoughts and prayers.

((((more big hugs))))

kwannabee · 06-04-2004, 10:41 AM

Stephanie i just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss...

there is no magic way to cope with this...some people say they didnt post much but i know i was here like an addict...i almost journaled my 'recovery'...if you can call it that...what ever makes you feel better (and is safe!) thats what you have to do. But talking to people who have walked through the fire and lived emotionally to tell about it...i have to say that helps me immensely...

Take care of yourself..
[[[hugs]]]

gracie_mlc · 06-05-2004, 07:58 PM

I'm so sorry you are going through this

This wasn't my first m/c, but for some reason, maybe because I was further along than i had normally gotten before, and it was twins, it is hitting me so hard.

I wish I could give you advice on coping, because that would mean I know how to cope, and I don't.

I hope that made sense. My brain is a ball of mush.

kadie · 06-09-2004, 04:16 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss...and I can say that I know now what you're going through...

I just m/c my first child over the weekend. Had my sister's graduation, so I didn't really get to deal with it until Monday, which is when it got really painful (physically).

Had to go back to work today, and am in no mood to be here. We only told my family, with specific instructions not to say anything to anyone...well, one of my sisters (the only one I debated telling) went & told 'a few' people...so I made sure to ask her to untell those people, and instruct them to untell whoever they may have told.

I can't eat, I can't sleep, I don't want to see anyone, I just laid around in my pj's for 3 days. My husband and I talked last night, and he even cried, and through his tears he said "I just don't know how to help you...I don't know what to say or what to do." And it really didn't hit me until that moment that this is affecting him, too. I don't know why I was so selfish, but then I felt even worse, like not only am I not fit to be a mother, I'm not deserving of this wonderful man, who, through his pain, is more concerned about me than with grieving for his loss too.

And the thing that really makes me mad, is that, the day before I started bleeding, was the first day that I was able to relax about this pregnancy...We were excited about everything, took a stroll through the baby section at Target, tried to figure out what we need...and then this.

It just hurts like hell and I can't make it stop. I just want to stay in bed and cry all day. Is this ever going to get better?? Why would I finally get pregnant...only to have it end like this? I kept telling myself that this miracle would work--why would God send me a baby and then take it away? I couldn't imagine that. And now, well, now I want to know why. Why did this happen? What did I do? What didn't I do?

WHY??????????

And I'll probably never know.

Sorry. Thanks for letting me rant...just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of everyone here...

kwannabee · 06-09-2004, 08:45 PM

Kadie and Stephanie...just wanted to let you know how sorry i am for you both...you have found the place where people really do understand. Take care......

April_Bee · 06-12-2004, 05:21 AM

(((((Kadie and Stephanie)))))

I am sorry for your losses. I am still coping with the pain of my m/c in January. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. You'll find that family/friends won't know what to say, or say the wrong things. But remember that all of the cysters on this board understand what you're going through. Anytime you need to talk, feel free to pm me. (((((more hugs)))))