PLEASE pardon my ignorance in all of this, but the idea of adoption is very new to me. Hubby and I have been together six years, we have never used protection, and I have never been pregnant. The idea of adoption is so appealing to me, but Im curious about a lot of things....if you could take the time to reply I would really appreciate it.
What is the average cost of a international adoption compared to one of your own country? I am from the US, if that helps.
How long does the process take in general?
What is the hardest part of adoption for you?
And this one may be dumb...My dad recently travelled to China, and he said that there were 45 couples on his plane bringing home babies--all girls. Are there never Chinese boys adopted? Which country "needs" babies adopted the most. Im sorry if that sounds dumb, but if my husband and I decide to adopt....how do we decide? How did you decide which way was right?
Like I said, Im new to this. We just started talking about it about a week ago.
We did a domestic adoption. We submitted our first piece of paperwork in November 2004 and our son was home in April 2006. We had 10 months of "official" waiting. With domestic adoption the wait times can vary drastically because usually the expectant mother looking into adoption choses the adoptive parents. All total our costs were in the $20,000 range (give or take) ad they were spread out from beginning to end. For me, the adoption process ended when our adoption was finalized in Feb 07, but we will always have adoption as a large part of our lives and our DS's firstmom will always be a part of our lives. I hope that this all makes sense to you. Any other questions feel fre to PM me.
Pam
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lilalouise--thanks for your response! May I ask what the $20,000 went towards? Are there various fees? Why was it so much money? Feel free to reply in a PM. Im still learning, so Im full of questions.
I went foster care adoption. My oldest two (out of three) were legally free, no chance of going anywhere else, when they joined our family. It did not cost us anything. Not a penny in fact we get a $30,000+ tax credit to use in the next five years (We wont pay fedreal taxes, we will get back any money we owe up to 30,000 until we run out of this amount or 5 years pass) Our boys are great and joined us youngish 6, 2 and 9 months old at their placement. It took about 20 months from the time we started classes and home study until we finalized on our boys. any questions about it I am happy to answer then ask away.
We also adopted domestically. Our birthmother came to us from a friend of a friend kind of thing. Someone knew a young lady who was looking to place, asked his friends to help, someone asked me if we ever thought of adopting...we had (we'd tried before).
So we used no agency. We used an attorney from our town. We still had to have an agency to do the homestudy. Total cost was under $5000.
The hardest part, before we were matched (we were with an agency) so the waiting to be matched was hard. But after we were matched the stress of 'will she change her mind' up until the birth was very hard. As the time got closer I was very stressed out. But I just tried to put it in God's hands (which is hard too!) and said...if it's meant to be God will make it happen! And he did!
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I went foster care adoption. My oldest two (out of three) were legally free, no chance of going anywhere else, when they joined our family. It did not cost us anything.
With the foster care adoption----do a lot of kids get put back with their birth parents a lot? I would be terrified of that happening during the adoption process.
So we used no agency. We used an attorney from our town. We still had to have an agency to do the homestudy. Total cost was under $5000.
The hardest part, before we were matched (we were with an agency) so the waiting to be matched was hard. But after we were matched the stress of 'will she change her mind' up until the birth was very hard. As the time got closer I was very stressed out.
See, that is more the cost I would like to stay in....$5,000-$10,000. My husband and I are not poor, but I can't imagine us coming up with an extra $20,000 for adoption fees....Im not sure how people afford it! The cost is overwhelming!!
As for the matching---do a lot of bmoms change their mind?
we adopted through Child and family services(in Canada), were placed with a 3 month old infant, and never paid a penny. It was finalized 3 months later. We are told this is not very common, but when something is meant to be it will happen
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Ok, I wanted to make it clear that DH and I are not wealthy by ANY stretch of the imagintion. We saved, got a loan, applied for grants, ad the rest of the funds came right when we needed them. Things just fell into place. (pt of the $20,000 (+/-) came in the form of a grant and we got a $10,000 loan based on the adoption tax credit that we pay interst only on and will pay in full when we get the remainder of the tax credit back next year.
Oh, and we did have one failed match where the expectant mom changed her mind. It was heartbreaking, but we are happy that a family was able to remain together.
Pam
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I also wanted to add that I know someone whose Cousin is in China right now picking up her new son.
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aufachse405- in most places you can do straight adoption of children who have no ties to their birth parents as the rights of the parents have been terminated. so they can not go "home " as there is not one to go to. You of coarse far to wit 6-12 months for the adoption to finalize while the state visits to make sure the children and your family are doing well.
We're adopting from China. We requested a girl but boys are available (& just b/c we requested a girl doesn't mean we'll end up w/ a boy surprise but the odds of having a boy are slimmer than having a daughter). Our cost will be just over $30,000 including travel. Most of that cost is travel since you have to stay at least 2 weeks in country. The rest was for fees assosiated mostly w/ government documents & renewals since we've been waiting so long.
To adopt from China there are several qualifications you have to meet. You can see them here: http://www.cawli.org/information.shtml (This is the agency we're using which is wonderful!). The wait for China adoption right now is at least 20 months (we're a week shy of 20 months & at least 2 weeks get added to that wait every month. No one knows how long the wait will go on until it starts to shorten. The wait was 5-6 months when we started & we should be getting our referral in the next few days. Also, that wait only includes the time that your paperwork is in China, not the amount of time you're gathering paperwork.
There is a $30K tax credit to use for adoption expenses (you have to prove the amounts that you spend) & some employers help w/ adoption expenses (you can't then take a tax credit for that amount). And if you were uninsured but made too much for "free care" & had a baby in a hospital, you'd be paying pretty much the same thing.
Just an FYI: it seems like wait times are going up for every country as others either do interim adoptions while their waiting in China or they bail from China as there has been unstability in other countries adoption programs in recent years.
Good Luck!
Traci
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There is a $30K tax credit to use for adoption expenses (you have to prove the amounts that you spend) & some employers help w/ adoption expenses (you can't then take a tax credit for that amount).
I think the adoption tax credit is only $10,960.
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Cost of adoption, and other questions. 
