I already knew that I am prone to depression if my hormones get screwed up thanks to bcp's or other meds. But this summer I started having anxiety attacks, and have had some periods of depression. I think that this might have been triggered by my Dad having a heart attack in June. So I have finally decided that I need help with this and I have an appointment with the on campus counseling center on Tuesday...wish me luck!
I'm glad you were able to notice that something more than usual has been bothering you and that you feel comfortable going to see someone. I hope all goes well and you feel comfortable with your psychiatrist. Let us know how it goes!
Way to go, Amanda! I wish I'd gotten help earlier. It took losing Rivi to push me into therapy. If I'd gone years ago, I'd be so much better off.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Thanks! I am looking forward to this appointment, hopefully they'll help me figure out what's going on with me. I decided that I was tired of having horrible, morbid thoughts all the time and that I was going to do something about it.
Congratulations on taking the first step!! It is so hard to admit to yourself there is a problem mentally because there is such a stigma attached to it. In this day and age, it is truly sad that mental illness isnt treated like any other medical condition and that it takes so much for us to come forward for fear of being labeled 'crazy' It was so awesome finally being diagnosed w/ bi-polar disorder because it meant that it really wasnt my fault and it wasnt all in my head (excuse the pun) Just promise me that before you start taking any new medications that you research it as much as possible and get all the info available. It sounds a little redundant but the dr who originally dx'd me gave me a script that made my symptoms worse and when I went to get a second opinion the dr was furious that such a mistake was made and I still have symptoms leftover from that very first medication. Good luck!!
I promise I've had some problems with medicine interactions in the past so I'm very careful about them now. I'd like to try counseling first before going on medications. I'd prefer not to go on more medications unless I really have to.
Whats really insane is that once my cycles became regular and I started eating right and exercising, the depression kinda lifted itself. It was the oddest thing. Its like I woke up one morning and realized that I was happy to be awake! Which probably doesnt sound like alot to some but for me I was blown away! I think more research should go into hormonal imbalances and the psyche. But that may just be me. And I understand, I try to avoid all western synthetic medication if I can. Something is really wrong when we are prescribed meds and the dr's have no idea how or why its working, and no idea what long-term effects are in the brain. Pretty scary.
Just wanted to update...I had my first appointment with my counselor on Tuesday. We are pretty sure that my problems were triggered by my dad's heart attack, but my counselor assures me that it's treatable. I just want to start feeling better. I have horrible morbid thoughts all the time. I can't stop thinking about death and dying. I'm not suicidal, thankfully, but I've developed an overwhelming fear of dying that I can't stop thinking about. I find it impossible to get my mind off these things and so I can't enjoy anything because I can't stop thinking that someday I'm going to die. I just want to be able to stop thinking like that and start enjoying life again.
Best of luck! I recommend the Thoughts and Feelings Handbook and Mind Over Mood while you're getting therapy. Another cyster (I think TickledPink) has been recommending the Feeling Good Handbook, which sounds very similar.
It's a long road, but you can and you will conquer this problem and enjoy living again!
Thank you! I will look into all of those. I just want to not think morbid thoughts all the time. I've tried to tell myself that I'm being irrational and that I'm too young to think like this anyway and that I'm just wasting my life worrying about it, but no matter how much I try to reason with myself, it doesn't help. I wish it was as easy as "just snap out of it" like people have told me to do, but it doesn't work like that.
No, once it gets to a certain point it becomes impossible to just "snap out of it" and you have to work really hard (lots of repetition and practice) at changing the bad thoughts into realistic/good thoughts. With me it was a constant tickertape about how stupid I was (now I automatically type, "how stupid I felt," because of training--I know I wasn't really stupid, I just felt stupid and the realistic word replaces the negative word. I had to go back and change it to "was").
The place I went said they get a LOT of grad students with various anxiety disorders. It's great that you're taking these positive steps to make yourself better.
The place I went said they get a LOT of grad students with various anxiety disorders. It's great that you're taking these positive steps to make yourself better.
That doesn't surprise me! Especially with first year students...in my case I'm adjusting to the workload, being in a field different from my undergrad, studying theory that I've never seen before, and being unsure of my progress because my profs aren't very good about returning papers or giving progress reports. Today I met with one of them and found out that I'm actually making the sort of progress that he expects, when I had been thinking that I hadn't been doing well in the class at all. Unfortunately the depression and anxiety started before I started grad school, so the stress and the depression are probably not a good combination.
"unsure of my progress because my profs aren't very good about returning papers or giving progress reports."
This was the WORST for me. I'd gone from a small liberal arts college to a place where when we got exams back (and this was the ONLY measure of our progress) all there would be would be a number and letter grade on the front-- no indication of what problems were wrong or anything. And the letter grade was not usually an "A" for me.
counseling appointment 
I've had some problems with medicine interactions in the past so I'm very careful about them now. I'd like to try counseling first before going on medications. I'd prefer not to go on more medications unless I really have to.
