Which Country to Choose?

Sam29 · 11-17-2008, 10:00 PM

Hi There,

My Husband and I are starting to think about adoption...we are thinking of going the international route.

We live in Ontario Canada, from the research I have done on the internet I am very overwhelmed with all the different and conflicting information, I tried making some phone calls to different agency's in our area and had a really hard time getting a hold of anyone.

Does anyone know much about international adoption?

We would prefer a caucasion child preferrably a girl under the age of 24 months. When I first started out, I assumed this would be an easy task when going the international route....but am now finding out it may be harder then I thought.

Any help??

Thanks

LilBitMagoo · 11-18-2008, 01:49 PM

My question is have you looked into doing a domestic adoption? Or do you prefer to do an international adoption?

Are there any websites for the agencies you tried contacting to give you a general idea of who they work with in terms of adoption. I'm refering to the countries they work with. Since, not all agencies work with the same countries.

Good luck in finding what you need. Yes, this can be an overwhelming process but its worth it in the end.

Sam29 · 11-19-2008, 02:30 PM

We have considered domestic, but where we are all domestic adoptions are open, we are not comfortable with an open adoption, and birth parents can change their mind, I believe they have 3 weeks to do so.....and we would still be responsible for a lot of the costs.

Mainly I just don't feel comfortable with birth parents living in the same city as me, we don't feel comfortable 'sharing' our child.

I am having a hard time finding an agency in Ontario that deals with countries where you can get young children from...with the exception of Russia, which happens to be very expensive.

LilBitMagoo · 11-19-2008, 08:27 PM

I think here in the USA each state has different guidelines on the amount of time a parent(s) have to go back on their decision. I think the highest I have heard is 72 hours. I understand your fear of having an open adoption. Yes, Russia is very expensive. And as I'm sure you know if you have certain criteria it can be even more difficult.

mereseeley · 11-22-2008, 01:51 AM

Sam29- I realize that you are in Canada, but here are some of the places I started with before deciding on Guatemala.

1) US State Dept International Adoptions website: This breaks down each countries requirements for the US. Some info may be outdated, but it's a place to start. Also they have a section on each country and tells about it.
2) Search for agencies in your local area and ones that are farther away.
3) Research each country you are considering.
4) Each country has it's own requirements for adoptive parents.
5) If race is important, realize that you will have few choices for a Caucasian only child.
6) Read: There are numerous books on adopting a child from overseas. There can be many issues, that are not considered special needs. such as attachment and bonding, behavioral, etc.
7) Join web support/forums, other than this one, to pick the minds of other parents who have done it through various countries. Yahoo has some great groups.
8) Research costs and grants to help fund an adoption. For instance in the US, we get to claim a tax credit after the child is home from the gov't. Don't pay anyone until you have a contract and they are performing work for you.
9) Research Hague Convention and it's affect on laws governing international adoptions.
10) Ask anyone about it, you never know, who may give you the most valuable advice.

Good luck!

dna · 11-25-2008, 04:09 PM

Hi Sam29

I know we have talked but a caucasion child especially a girl under 24 months will be virtually impossible internationally unless you want to pay for Russia. Which is super duper expensive.

I wish I could help more ..

Good luck,
Amy

LadyBugg · 12-03-2008, 05:42 PM

dna is right. It makes me sick but caucasian children are worth more in the eyes of the intenational adoption community. Any international adoption of a white baby will cost thousands more than a dark-skinned child. As for us, we love our African babies. I know alot about that, so if you happen to change your mind feel free to contact me about it.

Safyre · 12-09-2008, 05:35 PM

Sam - I'm in Ontario as well, and I'm actually the polar opposite of yourself, I actually am looking to adopt through CAS in Ontario, though I was looking through the pages I hae book marked and I found this:

http://www.gov.on.ca/children/englis...02_179881.html

Its a list of Agencies that process International Adoptions, as well as the countries that they are licensed for. When I look at the list of countries, the only other one aside from Russia that I see that would almost garuntee to give you a caucasion child would be the Ukraine... I don't know what the costs would be though.

I'll see if I can find any more info in my bookmarks for ya!

Sam29 · 12-09-2008, 07:38 PM

Thanks for the info Safyre!

I have found a number of countries that we could perspectivley work with since I last posted.....now it's just a matter of waiting to see if we will go down that route. We have 2 more cycles to try...then we are moving on.

We too looked in the CAS........but found that it is not the route for us.

Have you started your home study yet?

Emaline · 12-13-2008, 12:08 AM

Hi Sam,

I like you, am just starting at looking into adoption. DH and I are also considering giving ICSI a try. We're caught between paying $10K for a try at ART that may not work, or a guaranteed child through adoption at $20K+ with loooonnng wait times. I know it sounds really shallow of me to be talking about money when children are concerned, but it is unfortunately a reality for us.

I also don't want to do a domestic adoption. I am scared to death that the bio parents would want the baby back, or want to be too much a part of the child's life. I also would like a healthy baby. That sounds shallow of me too, but it's true. I can't lie to myself. That's what I want.

So, we've been researching international adoptions. At first we were enamored with the thought of going to China for our baby girl; however, I've read that recent estimates of wait lists are 31+ months! It's absolutely heartbreaking. We don't know what to do!

I've read that Kazakstan (sp?) is open to international adoptions if you're looking for a baby that looks more like you. I don't know anyone who's adopted from that country though. Let me know how your journey goes and what you decide to do.

P.S. I also live in Canada.

DCBailey · 12-13-2008, 02:51 AM

DH and I have been researching the adoption process for quite some time so when we are ready we have an idea...I dont think i know much more than the previous posts but I find that yahoo groups are very helpful..usually they are seperated by country for example...Columbia adoption or Ethipia adoption.

Good luck on your adoption journey!

Sam29 · 12-13-2008, 11:29 AM

Emaline - I actually have a friend who just adopted from Kazakhstan.....she just came home with her little boy in September....he is of Kazh decent (Asian). When you adopt from Kazh it is a blind adoption, and you have to be open to children of either Asian, Eurasian or Caucasian decent.

It seems that there are a few countries that have Caucasian children available but they are generally in the 2-4 year old range at the very youngest and the wait would be at least 2+ years.

So now the decision is to adopt an older caucasion child or a younger child of another race.....we just don't know if we are prepared to deal with the challenges of a transracial adoption.

Everyone I know who has adopted has adopted transracially and had wonderful experiences and are very happy now...........but I don't think I am yet over having a child that 'looks' like me? I'm sure things will change, all in all I just want a child to care for......and want one soon!!

I know how you feel re money, you can't put a price on how it will feel to finally have a child to care for...but the reality is you have to also have the means to do it and think about your financial future as well. International adoptions are running $30-50k these days.

Anyway, if you don't mind me asking, where in Ontario are you located? We are up in Barrie, about an hour north of Toronto.

As far as ICSI goes, we had the same struggle trying to decide what to do, we are dealing with male factor as well as PCOS, we went the ICSI route......it didn't go so well, but for lots of people it does. It's just hard to 'gamble' that amount of money away. We are proceeding with a few more fertilty treatments in the new year, but I am ready to move on to something that has a happy ending

Good luck in what ever you decide to do

Safyre · 12-15-2008, 11:55 PM

I completely forgot I had posted on here! lol I don't know where my brain is these days!!

Our situation is that, *I* just accepted the idea of adoption, and am loving the idea right now. My husband has always been open to it. We've decided if we're not pregnant by the end of 2009, we're going to start the homestudy and get going through the process.
In the area that I am in (SW Ontario near Windsor), right now, CAS adoptions are moving 'quickly' and a lot of people are getting matched within 9 months of finishing their processes.... which is just amazing considering most of the time lines I've heard about.

So, we're waiting for now, but open and very hopeful to do it in the future!!!

Unfortunately, there are very few people in this world that don't have to take money into consideration. Otherwise, we have to be sensible and weigh the options.
For me, I don't even want to try IVF at all. It is to expensive, and the chance of pregnancy so slim, its not worth the money to me, in all honesty. I'd rather adopt a child from CAs, and put the money I would have been using for IVF into a college fund .... Because at the end of the day, I want to be a mom.. thats it.

jaeldid55 · 02-13-2009, 07:42 PM

Wow, and here I am , a birth mother, trying to figure out if I can adopt my child to a family outside of Canada. I am a US citizen, as is my husband, and there seems to be a big load of paperwork if we adopt to an American family.

Newby09 · 02-18-2009, 12:48 AM

Emaline,
I feel many of the same things you feel. I have dealt with one failed adoption ( friends releguishment), and only a few months of clomide treatments. I am torn between spending the money on IVF, which will only work if they can make me ovulate, which I have yet to do, or spend 30k or more on an adoption. I would perfer a child that looks like me, but my niece was adopted from Guatemala and is soo beautiful. Now if we proceed with the adoption route, Guatemala is our top choice if it reopens. A domestic adoption can have many complicated strings attached and Russia does not quarentee a young child. I am a strong believer that what is meant to be will be. Best of luck with whatever you choose.