Cowardly Lion looking for....

PcosGirl20 · 01-07-2006, 10:46 PM

Courage....

2006, has begun and it already sucks........Last night I hit rock bottom, learning to speak up. and do the right thing. I was reciently excepted into the college program for disney...and due to my credit requirements i had to decline....Ive done this program before ( spring 2003), but was unable to go the whole 8 months because i got sick (mono)......so I came home.....Im so upset with myself....I had a great oppertunity and i blew it....im 24 years old...still stuck at home...constantly battling with my mother about the importance of live and its routine......My current job threw me a we'll miss you party yesterday,...id feel so awkward gooing back and saying..well this program diddn't work out, so i need you to put me on the schedule.......

I payed attention to the signs all around me....and this is what i get....NOw my tinglyness will come back in my shoulders......peroids will be out of wack....I was so sick to my stomach .....though i would puke but held back....(i hate puking)........ I dont have many friends, or even a stable guy in my life......Its sad that I look online for guidance and love.....I want someone who wont fight with me, but encourage me ...... push me forward, not hold me back......Just someone.....anyone.....please.....

lightfello · 01-08-2006, 12:09 AM

PCOSGirl20-I'm sorry to hear of your problems. I wish I knew what to say to help.

Perhaps a bump will let someone else see it and give you some words of advice.
Don't give up, perhaps you can do the college program in th future. Do they give deferments?
Good luck,

missyrooloo · 01-08-2006, 01:27 AM

Hi.my name is melissa.i just wanted u to know that your not alone.and i'm here for you if u ever need to chat (missyrooloo@hotmail.com).I've been in the struggle with depression 2.currently fighting it.just know that life is like a wave (and sometimes like riding a tsunami)....it goes up and down.hang in there girl u can do it.there will be plenty more opputunities in life.things will get better.like i said if u ever need a buddy i'm here for u.

melissa 19

am0rcita · 01-08-2006, 04:37 AM

I think that you can have all of the things that you want in life. Sometimes the pain feels the worst when you start to pay attention to what is eating you up on the inside, but it is an important step.

Have you considered therapy? A psychotherapist may help you to work through the tough feelings so that you can engage in healthy relationships and find ways to cope with permanent relationships (i.e. family) that are/will not be perfect.

Obviously, others see your shining potential as you've been accepted into the Disney program not once, but twice!

Good luck and keep us posted!

PcosGirl20 · 01-08-2006, 04:48 AM

Thanx ladies.....

Ive been down the deep depression road once before..i Hated that girl.....I was so miserable......Ive been to many theripists...but i had to stop because i lost my health insurance...It was like 50 bucks a session....than going 2 times a week..whew...Ive thought about it many times, dont get me wrong i loved my theripist..she was so good to me...a big help......BUt i need to find a way to get insurance

I think my plan is... ON monday

Go to my local community college, and sing up for classes...im thinking (a songwriting class and a CSI(love that show)(vegas, not miami)class....maybe a dance class(to keep motivated)....

Work at dear old wendy's ...tue, wed, thurs..and a short day on friday....maybe 4 times a week (insted of 6...and only 4 - 6 hours a day)....like an 11-8...figure 9 hours 4 times a week.....8.10 an hour.....

A fun waitressing job at a local nightclub ..only two nights a week...Fri and Sat.......

Take time for me... insted of living, because i have to.....Im ready for a change.....

Sorry for the rambles...