crazy or not?

joygirl · 03-12-2005, 06:02 PM

First off let me say that my one desire is to to a mom. My utmost desire is to have a baby. I've looked at international adoption but financially I can't afford it. I have started looking into foster care with possible adoption. But the likely hood of me getting a baby and being able to adopt is very slim.

Now I am looking into artifical insemination. I've been researching sperm donation. Do you think this is a crazy option? If I work summer school I should be able to afford having at least one procedure. Isn't sperm donation kindof like adoption anyway. If I were to adopt a child I wouldn't know the birth father anyway.

I'm kindof worried about how my family would feel about this. I don't really think my mom would mind b/c she can't wait for me to get married and have a baby. I would just skip the marriage part and have the baby. I'm also worried about what some of my closest friend will think. I haven't shared any of this with anyone. I don't want to jump on this just b/c my biological clock is ticking. I'm going to talk to my mom about it either tonight or tomorrow. I'm thinking about calling my second mom now to discuss with her but I'm not sure if I want to talk to her before my real mom.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. Just had to get it off my chest. I would be happy to hear anyones opinion on this.

thanks
Angie

TracyW2 · 03-12-2005, 07:55 PM

We went through two cycles using donor sperm. The first one worked but it sadly ended in a m/c. My husband has a zero count so we didnt really have any other options if I wanted to be able to carry my child. We never told any family. We never felt that the time was right. We would have eventually, but we wanted everyone to love the child and not look at him/her differently.

We have decided to look into foster to adopt for now. I am having a difficult time getting back into trying. It has been a very rocky road for us and emotionaly I am not ready. So for now I want to experience motherhood and down the road we will try again.

Best of luck in your decision.

~tracy

angrypcoser · 03-12-2005, 09:32 PM

Were you raised by one family member?

I have heard it is harder for women who have been raised with both a mother and a father figure to parent a child single than it is for one who has been raised with a single parent figure.

You mention your mom and your "real mom", so that's why I ask.

My thoughts on TTC, after a long bout of problems is this.

The focus of getting pregnant is to have a family.

I know a lot of people want an infant, but they don't examine WHY they want an infant. Many of them want an infant thinking that the child would possibly never know they were adopted.

They will know. Kids are observant. Myself, hubby and I are going to adopt an older child...anywhere from 6 to 10 years of age, because we know there is a child out there, right now, needing a mommy and daddy, and because it is harder for them to find a mommy and daddy, we're going older.

Think of the stuff, which is wonderful if you have one of your own, that we don't "have to worry about" when adopting an older child.

No diapers, instantly being able to know from the child themself what hurts, not worrying about SIDS, etc etc.

Of course, if I had a baby naturally, I would welcome those challenges, but if I'm not having one naturally, why go through it?

You can ask most parents, its when kids hit about 4 or 5 that the fun begins.

That's just my .02

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

samstars · 03-12-2005, 11:25 PM

Angie

I think you need to do what your heart leads you to do. Talk to those closes to you and find out as much info as you can.

If you heart is set on a baby and you pray about it and it is God's will then the doors will open.

I hope I didn't discourage you with the info on foster to adopt or just adopting from the Depart of Family and Children.

Know that you can still email me if you just need someone to listen to or to rant to.

Stacy