Curious as to why mutiples are bad?

sugarkisses99 · 05-26-2008, 10:49 PM

I'M SEEING A LOT LOT OF WOMEN SAY. THAT HAVING MULTIPLES IS A BAD THING.. CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME THERE OPINION ON WHY THEY THINK HAVING MUTIPLES IS A BAD THING? oR HOW THEY FEEL IN GENERAL ABOUT THEM. I THINK ITS AN AMAZING THING TO HAVE MULTIPLES BESIDES THE RISKS OF PREMATURITY. I SEE NOTHING BAD ABOUT HAVING MUTIPLES.

SandV · 05-26-2008, 10:57 PM

Personally, I wouldnt mind having twins so that way I can have both children at the same time. However, from what I have read and been told, there can be many complications with multiples during pregnancy and birth. Both the mother and the babies can have stress during the 9 month period.
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blueoceanflower · 05-26-2008, 11:19 PM

Multiples are not 'bad', per se, but the risks involved can be an issue.
You automaticaly are considered a 'high risk' pregnancy.
Your risk of MC is greater with miltiples.
Prematurity, health issues and complications for mother and children.
It's not something to take lightly.

deb_e_deb26 · 05-26-2008, 11:37 PM

I agree with the posters above, its not that multiples are bad, its the pregnancy itself can be more dangerous as our bodies arent designed to carry multiples...

I tihnk people are just wording it wrongly, thats all!

As a mum of multiples, they definately arent bad, its hard work but very very rewarding!
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MommyDreams08 · 05-27-2008, 03:32 AM

Though I wouldn't mind twins myself, it's the complications that multiples pregnancy causes that most of the women on here are talking about. Having more than one child at a time is a huge blessing but a road filled with all kinds of possible complications for the mother and babies.
Kim

Lilysprite · 05-27-2008, 04:06 AM

Hi,
I have 15 month old twins. I wouldn't say the experience was bad at all. It was difficult, but honestly I was very lucky. Granted I had problems, GD, preeclampsia and pelvic pain, and the pregnancy was a bit difficult, but my kids are the greatest thing to happen in my life! I think as the pp's say, a lot of people say that multiples can be bad because there can be many complications and risks involved. I think they are referring to the problems that it can cause and risks. I think it also depends on the amount of multiples we are talking about. Having 4 or more babies at once is definately more risky than 2. But then even that goes w/ the individual mom carrying them. There are quite a few multiple moms on here that have more than twins and I am sure some have had more problems than others carrying them. But as far as even having higher multiples being bad, I bet if you ask any of the high multiple moms, they will all tell you the same thing, how their babies are a blessing and that they are blessed and lucky to have them!!!

Other than the risks involved, and prematurity which has it's own set of risks, having twins isn't that much different than 1. (I am talking about taking care of them.) You still have to do the same thing as w/ one just twice. It is a lot of work, and can be trying at times especially when they both get going, and can get quite costly, but it is doubly rewarding!
Take care!

supermouse · 05-27-2008, 11:58 AM

As other posters have said, it's not that multiples are bad, but can be dangerous---for you and the babies. Twins usually go ok these days---often, they can be carried to term, or close enough that they don't spend much time in NICU. The mom, however, is at greater risk for GD, preeclampsia, and other issues.

Once you get more than twins though, the risks to the mom are pretty bad, but the risks to the babies goes up even more. The odds that they will be extremely premature is very great. Miscarriage/stillbirth rates go up. And if they are born very preemie and survive, they can have a lot of developmental problems.

Humans are simply not designed to have many babies at once and you are likelier to have healthier children, if you don't have more than two at a time. Also, if you want a lot of kids, you are likelier to have healthy subsequent pregnancies if you don't wreck your health with a high-order multiples pregnancy.

Anyway, with fertility drugs, the chances of multiples is increased, but most REs do their best to ensure that women have only one or two babies at a time. Good luck.

zilla · 05-27-2008, 12:31 PM

I feel the same as everyone here. All the research I did was quite scary. I am confident I could take care of up to three at a time, because I worked in daycare for seven years and worked in the infant room for a year with a ratio of one adult to three infants. It was busy, but doable.

My husband has zero baby experience and he gets very nervous when the topic comes up. I just remind him that even on Clomid the odds are very low. I am more afraid of all the things that could go wrong physically and mentally.

Melvin'sWifey · 05-27-2008, 05:23 PM

Even besides all the risks and possible complications, many people are scared, (while also very excited and ready) to become parents to ONE, let alone TWO or more!! Some people also may not be able to comfortably financially support more than one child. Some people worry they might not have enough attention to give, or not have enough hands or help at one time.

There are a million reasons to be terrified of having one baby, so with multiples it just multiplies the worries as well! Personally I'd love to have twins... what an amazing miracle and blessing! But I'm also a nanny so I have years and years of experience with newborns all the way up to school aged kids so I'm not scared, just anxious!!

jessie_vp · 05-28-2008, 04:46 PM

I dreamed of having twins. I thought, after all my IF struggles it would be amazing to have my entire family in one shot. I am now 34w2d pregnant with twin girls from my third IVF transfer, and could not be happier about it.

However, I've had the following complications:
Bleeding in the first and second trimester
Low lying placenta
Contractions starting at 22 weeks
Gestational Diabetes
High blood pressure and developing preeclampsia (this just started yesterday!)

Mind you I started out as a thin, healthy woman (other than the mild PCOS) so with one baby I doubt I would have had all of these complications, if any. It certainly is riskier and makes things more difficult. I am just praying for the safe arrival of my twins at this point, which may be sooner than I anticipated thanks to my recent bp issues.

rynngo · 05-28-2008, 05:04 PM

Jessie - good luck with the twins. Get lots of rest now as you will need it when they finally arrive.

sugarkisses - the financial cost is sky high when you get to the college phase. I have a friend (single mom) with twin girls who are graduating college this year and she has been struggling financially to be able to put them through school. If it wasn't for the fact that they all moved in with HER mom, she would not have been able to afford to send the girls to college. She also was out of work for several months. Talk about stress! One at a time is a good way to go with kids, although I would love to have twins also. I am scared of the work involved but ready to take it on!

I have talked with my DH about the flip side of this coin - reducing to twins. We still have not ruled it out but have come to a conclusion that if it were four or five I would definitely reduce to either two or three. But I would not reduce from 4 to 3 as the risk of losing all would be too great. there's no guarantee that we could still carry all to term, like everyone else said there is the increased risk of miscarriage with multiples. and what if you had to be put on bed rest for the duration of your pregnancy? In a two income family to suddenly lose that 2nd income can be a financial disaster.

redbirdie · 06-01-2008, 01:11 PM

I agree with the other posts that multiples are not "bad" but the chances of havign children with special needs is going to be higher. I took a class during my graduate studies on young children with special needs. Many children who are born early (which is often the case with multiples) have a higher risk of birth defects such as cerebal palsy. My main would not be having a child with a speical need- but rather what would happen to my child if something happend to my husband or I?

sarahjean · 06-02-2008, 02:25 PM

I'm a twin, was born in 1978, and my parents were always thrilled to have twins, even though it is challenging. There are higher risks of course associated with multiples (especially more than 2 babies), so that's pry why you've heard negative things. I was so grateful to be a twin, I hope that I have twins too!!!

jessie_vp- You're getting close!! Good luck!

Mindijean · 06-02-2008, 02:32 PM

I know that, for myself and I'm sure others who have lost a child to I/C, the risk of being pregnant with multiples and having incompetent cervix is very scary. That may be what people are speaking of. Women with PCOS have a much higher risk of incompetent cervix, and the pressure of ANY baby on the cervix is a risk, let alone more than one.