For me it was about 10 years -- from about the time PCOS really kicked in until I started getting some decent treatment for it. I got a little addicted, and that was a little hard to break, though I think it was a mental addiction more than just a physical draw to the endorphins. I didn't want to let it go. I thought I might go crazy without a coping mechanism.
For me the control thing comes out in eating disorders. I have that somewhat under control, but it always threatens to come back if things start going badly.
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i cut for a while, and still get the urge every now and then! i used to find a the bluntest object i could find and use it, there was something about putting the effort into it that made it appealing to me. i did it on my upper arm for a while, scars a fadeing! i really dont know what made me stop, but i get allot more out of stopping myself rather from doing it now.
i guess music helped allot during that time!
i cut for a long while. i still feel like i need to sometimes, and i still want to....but i just do something to take my mind off it. i only stoped about 6 months ago. my BF has been every supportive
i cut for about2 years kinda in process of recovery i have a few slips now and then but to be honest i don't hide my scars anymore theres a really good support board i belong to its www.recoveryourlife.com
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recoveryourlife.com is an amazing site. for me it was 6 months and upper thigh (right) i pulled disposeable razors apart and used the corner of the blade. Try poems. I used towrite in red ink and pretend it was my blood. http://mandimoo87.diaryland.com username:guest4 password: amanda feel free to read and browse...warning may be triggering. Also try listening to 'happier' music. I still love evnescence, but i dont listen to it as much. my depression hasbeen acquitted to my meds(dianette), i took it for 4 months (an adjustment period) then my body stop fighting it and it made me depressed, i stayed on my pill tho and i got the right balance. You are all beautiful. Try this website as well click here this is set up by a cyster, mostly cysters on there. but designed to look at every aspect of depression. love you all mand x
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when i think back on it i can remember self harming from when i was pretty young like 7 or eight. my mum and i would get into huge fights and i would digh my nails so hard into my skin they would leave marks. the first time i actually used an object to hurt myself was when the trouble began. i was 14 and was desperatly trying to lose weight, i had worked my ass off for two weeks, exercised, gone to the gym, done areobics classes and eaten healithy and instead of losing weight i put on almost 3kg! (i later learned it was probably muscle mass rather than fat). after i started cutting myself it became my best friend, i felt that no one else in my life was there for me and dependable. i cut on my upper thighs to so no one would see. i was so afraid if anyone found out they would take it away from me and it was the only thing i had. anyway a few years later while going thru an awful time with my parents after i fight when they left the house i broke some stuff, like some plates cuts and nic nacks in an effort to deal with my anger and pain in a different way. my mum was not happy, said that i had to move out and if i didnt get out they would change the locks on the doors while i was out and when i came home if i didnt leave theywould call the police to take me away. i had no one to go to, and more importantly i would have had no where to live. when i told my mum the reason i broke thoser things was because i was trying to stop cutting her reaction was devastating. she acted as if it were some trivial thing, and when asked if she would prefer me break a few dishes or harm myself she made it sound like me breaking the dishes were equally as bad (i didnt even break that much, really lol) she even demanded to see my scars to prove to her that i had a problem. the night they found out about my cutting the whole family left me alone in the house while they stayed in a hotel. i had never threated violence around them or my little sister. eventually with my partners help i managed to stop cutting for a long time, instead i found food. and honestly i cant say that im glad i did. in under three years i have put on 70kg, i would prefer some scars on my thigh that no one has to see rather than having the whole world see me as obese and less of a person because of my weight. earlier this year i cut really deep, so deep i scared myself. there were these two big gaping holes in my thigh, and i was so afraid. they wouldnt stop bleeding and i thought i might need stiches. they took weeks just to close and they scarred a fair bit. so far i have been to chicken to do it again cause it really scared me. ok now u have my life story lol
good luck to all of u struggling to overcome it.
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I still have urges every now and then and I have complet breakdowns but once my bf found out I had been cutting he made me promise I would never do it again. I havn't since that day. I also use to cut of my back. I use to use my jack knife. Razors always scared me but blunt objects I used. I remember at one point looking on the outside wondering why people cut, I thought it was just for attention seekers...but then I got to that point and relized I did it only because it was the only thing I could control. The worst part was I couldn't stop at just one cut. Thanks for all sharing your stories.
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when my bf found out he made me promise i wudn't as well btu i think its a bit unfair to make me promise not to do it coz then if i did do it it made me feel so guilty
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I thought it was so unfair aswell but as soon as I held my jack knife I remembered what I promised to him and put it away....Then instead I write my rants...e-mail him about pretty much nothing at all I just keep myself busy. I havn't done it since I promised him and I like it that way. It showed me how much he loves me and how much I love him because I stoped only for him.
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Cutting 
