cutting- just venting i guess

sue_trask · 09-25-2006, 05:48 AM

well to start. i have been thinking about doing it for a long time and almost did it before but stop myself. and usually its when im down and depressed at the time. and then last wk, my mom and i got into a lil tiff over nothing and got upset for acting that way and went to the bathroom and cut myself sighs. and now sometimes i think how could i do it and then there is times where i want to do it again.

sue

09-25-2006, 06:07 AM

Hi Sue,

Some suggestions; if you feel like doing it remember it's only a short term solution and in the long term you just feel worse for having done it.

You are entitled to your feelings - don't bottle them up - express them but do in a healthy way with words & emotions not by cutting - is there someone you can talk to or can you write in a journal.

Other things to try when you get the urge;

delay delay delay
distract - walk, do a crossword, do a household chore, run, punch a punching bag
use ice - get an ice cube, hold it in your hand & squeeze. It hurts so you get that satisfaction of pain without damaging yourself.
rip up paper - tear, shred, throw it flying

If you google 'self harm' you will see that this is fairly common & that there are support groups & message boards available.

You are not alone. Look after yourself.

Amy_53405 · 09-25-2006, 02:00 PM

I am a cutter, I have been for 14yrs...If you need someone to talk to, please email me at amy_53405@yahoo.com

Twistlocks · 09-25-2006, 08:33 PM

I'm new here and just reading what you all have typed. I remember seeing a special on Oprah of a woman that would cut her self to end the pain temporarliy. My question is: What is it in your mind that makes you want to cut on your own body? Could this be some kind of chemical imbalance? I go thru depressed days, but have yet to think about cutting. Explain?

Jenryalee · 09-25-2006, 10:33 PM

I'm new to this forum, but also have a bit of a problem with cutting. Cutting is different for different people, Twistlocks. It isn't as easy as a hormonal imbalance. A lot of the time it stems much deeper than that. I got over it around a year ago, but got right back into it when I was diagnosed with Polycystic.

Sue, what you could do is make sure before you cut yourself, to call a friend. Or draw. Sing. Dance. Find a way to vent that doesn't involve self-harm. Or distract yourself. Another thing I've done is to make absolutely sure I'm around people when I have a urge. Hiding away and being alone means you really don't have much holding you back. And most importantly, talk to someone close about it. A best friend or a boyfriend, or someone else who's going through the same thing. It really helps.

Cassandra22 · 09-25-2006, 10:50 PM

I cut as a teenager, I was suffering from severe depression and was medicated for years. For me it was a relief - it gave me something to focus on instead of the emotional pain I felt. Afterwards I always felt ashamed and embarrassed, but those thoughts never crossed my mind at the time. I also felt that I was punishing myself for not being able to just be "normal" and happy. I guess it was sort of a silent cry for help - now that I look back on it, I wish I'd cried a little louder and without hurting myself. I have scars, emotional and physical, that will last forever because of it...

Good luck hun, find someone to talk to, and take some of Jane's advice - those are all good ways to avoid harming yourself.

sue_trask · 09-26-2006, 07:10 AM

thanks all. i hear You about blame self afterward. when i think about it, i just get mad at myself about why cant i be like everyone and not feel the need to do it.
but my mom saw the mark after i did and got upset and had a lil talk with me and told me she will help from a doctor or pych doc or however you spell it. to go to talk to.

she also made me promise. and i hope and trying to keep it cause already feel like a disappointment for her cause i have pcos and all the medical things and now this.

sorry for ranting away here

MyBabalooBean · 09-26-2006, 08:52 AM

(((hugs)))) Sue. . . you are on the right track. . . there are always ups and downs. I stopped cutting for almost 7 yrs and started up again outta nowhere. I know now though that it can be stopped. My dbf makes me promise to not self-harm and for some reason it helps more than promising myself. I know that it hurts him to know I did it and I can't bear to hurt him. The mind works in mysterious ways doesn't it??

sue_trask · 09-26-2006, 10:15 PM

yes it does. just when i get down really bad i think about it or when i hear fighting. i live with my parents still due to health reasons. so i have moments and try to talk myself out of it alot.

zorah · 09-27-2006, 01:31 PM

I know many people will disagree violently, but it's your body and you can do whatever you choose to it. Cutting does upset other people, and that's unfortunate, but they don't get to decide whether you should cut or not. If it helps you cope, I think it's a good thing. If it makes you feel worse, it's a bad thing. The only thing that matters is how you feel about it. I'm deeply, deeply offended by people telling others what to do with their own bodies.

If you do cut, it'd be prudent to only use clean blades, and never to cut into veins.

I'm sorry you're feeling bad, and I hope you feel better soon!

Cassandra22 · 09-27-2006, 03:15 PM

I'll be the first to "violently disagree"...

Are you SERIOUS?!

Do you really think this girl sounds like an experienced cutter? She is likely to grab anything sharp and cut at any available surface of her body when in distress.... she does not need people encouraging her to do so! There are much SAFER outlets for hurt and anger. I can't believe that anyone would encourage this girl to harm herself. Do you also think that suicide is a reasonable way to end your trouble? After all, it's your body, right? What about prostitution? Or letting their partner physically abuse them?

It IS your body, and therefore YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP IT SAFE. You only have one, and it's not replaceable.

Also.... trust me when I say that one day you will regret the scars... and they will be a constant reminder of the unhappiest times of your life.

Find someone to talk to. A counselor, pastor (even if you are not religious, they can counsel you without preaching at you), friend, or even just us - but don't buy that cutting is a safe way of expressing your pain. It may feel good to do it at the time but then again so does casual, unprotected sex, and that's not safe either. The pain you will feel later is much greater than the pain that drove you to cutting.

belle84 · 09-27-2006, 04:36 PM

hey honey! i used to cut (still want too sometimes) im ashamed of it and that is why i never cover my scars (they ar not that bad but when cold allmy scars go bright purple lol

give it a few months

) i agree with the ice! its a great way of getting thru it! i personally 2nd time round jsut stopped! i jsut would walk away f9r a walk in the woods and scream or something lol it used to work wonderss! look if u wanna talk pm me or my msn is avilable also xxx good luck hon and im thinking of u xx

zorah · 09-27-2006, 04:50 PM

I am not encouraging her to cut. All I'm saying is that it's up to her.

If she wants to stop cutting, I wish her all the luck in the world in that endeavor. And I do think there are many excellent reasons to want to stop cutting. Indeed, I myself no longer cut. I was never a fan of the pain the wounds caused when showering, or of the visibility of the scars.

But just as I would never encourage someone to cut, I would never encourage her to stop (unless she had asked for help stopping). Only the person herself knows what she gains from cutting, how it compares to alternative methods, if there are any, of accomplishing the same ends, and whether it's worth the cost (including those future scars you mention).

Quite aside from the cutting question, I recommend professional help to address the depression. To me, that is the important part. Doing everything possible to try to alleviate the depression that causes such despair.

I'm also sorry that you regret your actions. That never feels good. Myself, I would rather not have scars from cutting, but I would really rather not have any stretch marks. I mind the stretch marks much more. I don't think anyone should be ashamed of their cutting, or their scars from past or present cutting. It may be something they've decided to stop, but it is in no way shameful!

As to your question about suicide, are you asking whether suicide can ever be a rational decision (of course it can), or whether it is a person's right to end their own life (it certainly should be, though many people disagree, though a surprising number of right-wingers appear to value control over the ends of their own lives)? And I absolutely think prostitution should be legal (over the age of 18, I suppose is the relevent line to draw). Probably licensed. Consensual violence is much trickier.

Could you clarify "The pain you will feel later"? Thanks.

belle84 · 09-27-2006, 04:55 PM

as someone who has cut and tried suicide x2 (also worked on amental health unit - wonder where i picked up ideas) suicide is NEVER a rational thing. cutting is wrong in any sense - while working on the unit we had someone who ACCIDENTLY cut the wrong place and bled to death! so saying tis a good thing in any sense is handing people blades!!

LookingForHope16 · 09-29-2006, 05:02 AM

Hey Sue! I used to a cutter for many many years!

I know that there are lots of ways to stop yourself or distract yourself. Please try anything to keep yourself from doing it.

If you need to, seek professional help.