D&C - Asleep or Awake?

Brandy B · 10-09-2003, 11:21 AM

As I sit here dreading the phone call to the RE that I need to make today, I wanted to see if someone could give me some advice. It was confirmed 10 days ago today that our baby had died somewhere between 7.5 & 8.5 wks. I was given 10 days to miscarry naturally. Of course, that didn't happen. I need to call and schedule a D&C. I was told that i have two options. I could have it performed in the clinic while awake w/ oral meds for the pain. I could also have the procedure in the OR under a general. Anyone have any advice on what I should do? I mean I have this overwhelming feeling (sometimes) that I want to be present when they take my little one from me. I want to know it's happening, not have my tiny one be alone. On the other hand, emotionally I'm not sure I can handle knowing that at this moment they are ripping my tiny one apart. And I'm scared of the pain too. I'm such a mess. Can anyone help?
Thanks Ladies...

BB

DaleAnn · 10-09-2003, 12:42 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish none of us had to. That being said, I had my D&C a little over a month ago and I can't imagine being awake for this procedure.

I understand you not wanting your baby to go through this alone, because I felt this way too. But then I realized that my baby is no longer there. Whatever is left is just a shell, and your baby's spirit, soul, or whatever you believe make a person a unique, special individual, is gone to another, better place. Once I came to terms with that, I was able to let go a little bit and be asleep during the surgery.

Also, at least for me, I think I somehow felt a little bit guilty. I don't know why, I did nothing wrong. But there it was. And however irrational it is, I am sure that is a common feeling for women who are miscarrying. My first impulse was to be awake, but I think I would have been flogging myself a bit. Don't. You don't deserve it. Don't add to the emotional or physical pain, which is hard enough to deal with. Don't purposefully put yourself through more.

Or course, if there are medical reasons you should not have a general anesthesia, then by all means do what you must for your health.

Good luck with your decision. I hope you find peace and healing soon.
Dale Ann

shar · 10-09-2003, 03:47 PM

Sorry to hear that you have to go through this ((((hugs))))

I chose to be asleep during my D&C in Jan, too... I was an emotional mess and I couldn't bear being awake and listening to them do what they were doing while my heart was breaking in half. Some can do it, but I chose not to because I knew I'd probably lose it. It gave me that little piece of mind.

Also, by now, you're body has most likely just absorbed anything that had started to develop. As DaleAnn said, there is probably nothing left but what was growing as the sac.

Do what you need to do and we'll be here for you.

shar

Iluvstjohn · 10-09-2003, 05:35 PM

I was awake and so glad I was...for several reasons....My story was a bit different as I had to watch my little one dwindle away for 4 weeks. I had spotting very early on and they *knew* this pregnancy wasn't going to make it. Week after week I went in for u/s and the heartbeat was slowly going down. Finally at 10 weeks, the day after Christmas, there was no heartbeat. My husband was able to be in the room with me the whole time. THey gave me IV sedatives, so I was just sort of loopy, but awake. The noise was the worst part, but I was so glad to know how quick and relatively painless it was...all under 10 minutes. My husband just sat up by my head and talked to me about our favorite vacation and how much fun we had and all the memories came flooding back. HE was such a sweetie. I liked knowing what was happening to me (control freak that I am), I liked knowing that the procedure was really no big deal. I didn't want to be put under (always a fear that I won't come back!), and I wanted him with me.....It was really quite simple....
good luck with whatever you decide...

TACM · 10-10-2003, 10:54 AM

Brandy:
I am sorry about your loss. I had a D & C last week, and I chose to be completely knocked out. It was over in 10 minutes and I had no bad effects from the general they gave me. I was so anxious and scared, I don't think I could have handled being awake. Good luck with your decision.

Brandy B · 10-10-2003, 03:22 PM

Well, I've made my decision. It will remain to be seen whether or not it's the right one. My D&C is scheduled for next Thrusday, 10/16. It will be in the clinic and I will be awake. Please God let this go as well as it can... Please keep us in your thoughts. This week is going to be another tough one, as they all have been since our 7.5 wk u/s. By Thurs I would have been 11 wks. Thank you ladies for your advice and stories. They did help. And the nightmares continue...

BB

DaleAnn · 10-10-2003, 07:20 PM

Brandy,

I hope all goes smoothly and you have a speedy recovery. I will be thinking of you.

Dale Ann

Emi · 10-11-2003, 12:09 AM

Hello Brandy, just wanted you to know, that your in my prayers, and I hope all goes well ...

I know this is a hard time for you, and if you ever need to talk hun you know where you can find me...hugs Emi