Today marks a week since Daniel came into and left our world. I think it's time to tell his story.
Hindsight is 20/20. About a week before this all happened, I started having a mucus-type discharge. I thought it was a normal pregnancy issue. About a week before this all happened, something that I NOW think was my mucus plug came out. THEN I thought it was just an aftermath of BDing the night before. How are we, the "never been pregnant" women, supposed to KNOW about these signs?
The morning of January 4th, I started spotting and had some blood in my urine. I waited a few hours until Mark woke up (he works nights) before calling the doctor. I again figured it was nothing. By the time I got the doctor on the phone, I had had a few "cramps" which I NOW think were contractions. I had one more cramp, ran to the bathroom as my water broke, and delivered Daniel at home within seconds. Thank GOD Mark was here to help me.
We got the doctor on the phone, they talked me through "releasing" Daniel from the umbilical cord, and Mark brought both of us to the ER. I was admitted to the hospital and had meds and IV's set up, threatened with a D & C, but held out until morning and passed the placenta on my own. They've done a lot of tests on Daniel and me, hoping to have the results next week. I'm thinking it was I/C. According to the doctors, Daniel was a perfectly normal "looking" little boy. Born too soon. The doctor said we can try again.
It obviously was too early for Daniel to survive. A wonderful RN took his footprints and pictures for us. We had him cremated and he's now in our memory box, along with his u/s pics, his footprints, flowers that we've been sent, poems, etc.
Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts, your cards and letters. We both appreciate it. I never thought this would happen to us. But now that I've had time to read through the loss forum, I'm finding it easier knowing that I'm NOT the only one.
__________________
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Get involved in animal rescue. You won't be sorry. Your heart may break, there may be times when your eyes are red-rimmed for days. You may lose faith in the goodness of people, but your spirit will be renewed by the resilience of those you save. It isn't easy, but it's worth it. I promise you, you will be forever changed.
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BFP 12/23/08 M/C at appr. 5-8 weeks-nothing on the u/s To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Thanks for coming by, Mindi. Most of us know how hard it is to type this first post, so we appreciate your sharing. Daniel was and is a special little boy, and he will always be with you. Of course I wish that he was still safe inside, but it was obviously not the way things went this time. I'm very very sorry about that. I'm glad we can be here to listen and understand. It helped me, also, to know that I wasn't alone. Grief is very lonely work, so it's good to have cysters who understand what's happening. We'll be here anytime.
Many hugs to you and your husband. Please let us know how you're feeling as time passes.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Oh Mindi, this just breaks my heart. When I found out about you losing Daniel, I cried so hard. I remember when you announced your pregnancy on the Karma Swapping thread sometime in the fall. We were all so excited for you.
It's just not fair that you had to endure what I think is the hardest thing that could ever happen to a person. I hope that you get some answers to assuage your feelings. My doctor never fully gave us answers when we lost our baby last year. I also hope that you're getting all the love and support from family and friends.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. PM me if you need to "chat" with someone, okay? (((hugs)))
Christine
__________________ enits
Noelle - my little baby, was only with us for 17 weeks and 5 days, February 7, 2005
2nd loss - my little angel, could only stay with us for a little while, 8 weeks, August 3, 2005
Hoping to remain positive, always...
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My heart breaks for you and your DH. I wish there was something I could do/say, but please know that I am thinking of you and praying for you.
Nicole
__________________ My IVF Mircale has arrived! My baby boy - August 10, 2009
DSS - 8! I can't believe it! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
My Angel - 12/08/2005
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Mindi,
My heart breaks for you & your family. I have no words of comfort, only prayers. Thank you for being strong enough to share Daniel's story with us.
__________________
[font="Comic Sans MS"]Aimye (35) married to Jay (35) my hero
One IVF/FET,IC miracle JT born 8/18/06
1 perfect Angel Forever missed 10/29/04
WLS 4/14/2008
Start weight: 280 Current: 176 Goal:130
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Oh Mindi....this just sucks...I know you are in your darkest of days right now. I had a m/c at 10 weeks and I was in "the dark place' for a very very long time. Angry at the world for a whole mess of reasons. I was angry at my body, scared that my body will never work right, and just plain pissed off at the loss of control I had at the situation.
I will tell you that some day....probably not anytime soon, you will be able to put this whole experience in a better "place". You are forever changed by this....and someday you will be able to talk about it without choking up and a see some sort of "light" some sort of understanding per se.....Your Daniel is taking you one terrific journey...and it has only just begun. He is teaching you so many things and is about to bring you so many gifts. From the depths of despair to elation...he will bring it all.
Until then...I pass along my trusty ol' flashlight to you..to help you guide your way out of the dark place. Who had it last? Kwannabee? Nikki? Somebody will suddenly realize they don't need it as much as somebody else. Another part of healing will begin for somebody else, and the flashlight will make your darkest of days have a glimmer of hope.
may brighter days be ahead for you and your family....
Holly
shine on!
__________________ Me 38, Dh, 36,
DD, Katie Grace 4/8/03 she's 5 now!!
DS, Samuel Fenway...born 12/22/04, he's 4 now!
With Katie, tested ++++at 12dpo
13dpo: 428, 16dpo:1,903!!!
Born on April 8, 2003
8lbs, 6oz, 20 inches long
With Sam,4/12/04 beta= 131 at 8 or 11 dpo, p4 14.4
4/15/04 beta= 1,059 at 11 or 14 dpo
4/28/04=36,850 P4=35.2
Dear Mindi, thank you for sharing Daniel's story. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug ((((mindi)))) and please know that we are here for you always.
__________________
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Our sweet angel, Mohamed Matthew Raymon Illyas,
born and at rest on November 30, 2004.
Lived only 30 precious minutes...(IC at 20 weeks) Forever in our hearts, Together in our dreams.
We now live our life for you. We love you Matthew, our little Angel.
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Mindi - Thank you for sharing Daniel's story. Sharing is a big part in the grieving process. It's a long journey but we're all here for you. (((Hugs)))
Thanks for sharing your story. Your story sounds so similar to Jalen's story. It is helpful when you feel like you are not alone and the only person something like this can happen to. If you need any type of support I am here for you.
Daniel's story 
I'm very very sorry about that. I'm glad we can be here to listen and understand. It helped me, also, to know that I wasn't alone. Grief is very lonely work, so it's good to have cysters who understand what's happening. We'll be here anytime.
