Dating woes

2shady · 01-07-2008, 12:13 PM

Hello ladies,
I'm new to the forum, and would love some advice. I'm 21, was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 16, and figured out I was gay at 18. Middle and high school was pretty torturous, but luckily college is much better.

I didn't start dating until I was 20, and then it was only casually. Just last week, a friend of mine I've wanted since I met her asked if I wanted to date.

I should be ecstatic, and I am, but I'm extremely nervous. Nervous to the extent I can't reciprocate any affection she shows me. She's really understanding, and says it'll be awkward for both of us for a while, and that she was sorry for pushing me. Whenever I'm not with her, I know I want to be close to her, kiss her, etc., but when it comes to actually taking action I'm frozen.

This is my first serious relationship, and I care about her so much. I'm afraid that my inhibitions will keep me from ever telling and showing her how I really feel. I'm also afraid the symptoms of PCOS with turn her off. I'm pretty hairy, and usually don't bother shaving my legs. Maybe I should, but it's definitely a pain and my legs don't stay smooth for more than a day. My acne isn't as bad as it was before, but it's still pretty prevalent. She obviously has seen my face so it must not bother her too much, but I still with my complexion was clearer.

So, do you have any advice? How do I get over my nervousness? After work I was thinking of pulling a Love Actually sans Christmas caroling music and telling her how I feel with a series of cue cards.

Thanks for reading this super-long post.
-Chris

mavswimmer · 01-07-2008, 08:11 PM

Chris,

First serious relationships can be scary. Are you nervous because it is your first serious one, or are you more nervous about the hairyness? From experience, my partner does not really care if I shave or not. She just wants me to be comfortable, I shave pretty much only when I have too; i.e. when it gets uncomfortable, or when I am wearing capris or a skirt to work. That may be something to bring up right away if it really is a concern with you. Honestly though, anyone who is worth dating won't give a rats behind how your legs are.

I would suggest taking things slow. There is no harm in that and it seems like she is understanding in that respect already. Take things one day at a time and one kiss at a time. Things will work out the way they are supposed to in the end.

I am sending you luck through the www and I know that things will work out for you.

Ali

LeelaR · 01-31-2008, 09:37 PM

Hi, Chris,

I sure hope things are going well. I'll tell you this: my life is much easier now that I have a partner who prefers my body with hair. Bless her heart, she thinks the fact that I shave my face and have thick hair on my legs is sexy. It bugs me much more than it bugs her. I think that's one of the nice things about dating women--they're less likely to subscribe to society's beauty standards.

As for how you tell someone...it's hard no matter who you're dating. You will be nervous, you will be unsure, it's all okay. Check out scarleteen.com for really comprehensive information (bulletin boards and articles) on everything you would ever want to know, from a good reliable source.

Good luck! Keep us posted!