Okay this will be my last post I start on here today I promise
Has anyone else had delayed grieving? I mean, my little one should be 6 months old right now and I think I am just now reaching another level in the process. I dont know, does this make sense to anyone else?
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DD1: March 2006
DD2: January 2008
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i did not even give my m/c a 2nd thought (i feel bad about this) untill 4 months later. i got a baby shirt just to save up, and i just started crying when i looked at it. and now i just hurt. i have not hurt like this sence my grandmonther died. so i know that people have delayed grieving.
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Maybe you couldn't deal with it right after your losses. I think sometimes our minds protect us if the pain will be too much. I know that I cried after Rivi died, but I was functioning just fine for two weeks before I actually fell apart for months.
And now I'm doing okay, but I think that might be because there are other painful things going on in my life. I think my brain knows that I can't handle my grief, too. Now I'm at the point that my grief seems to save itself up, then I collapse every now and then. It's not a constant thing (thank God, 'cause I can't handle anything else!).
I wouldn't feel bad about it. Obviously, you loved your baby, and s/he knows it. That means a lot more than tears.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Thanks ladies. I don't want to feel guilty anymore for being ready to move on. But just when I get there, I miss them more than ever.
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DD1: March 2006
DD2: January 2008
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Grief is definitely a "two steps forward, one step back" process. SLOWLY things get better but then you have bad days. I had a real bad day today. But I try to keep in mind that overall, I'm moving in the right direction, and the more I cry, the more I am healing because I am dealing with the pain. It really helps me, personally, to think about it that way. Allow yourself to cry and get it all out. It's normal.
*hugs*
Adrianne
ETA: Don't be afraid to post all you want!!! My due date is coming up in a month and I'm going to be a posting madwoman....
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It's normal to kinda be numb to what's going on. My 1st m/c didn't phase me until after my 2nd m/c, then both hit me @ the same time. My 1st & 2nd m/c's were 5 months apart. It was also a few months before my 2nd m/c actually really hit me. I was in a state of denial that it didn't actually happen. It really hit me when I got a box of formula in the mail.
And post as much as you want, we're/most are all going through/been through the same things!
{{{{HUGS}}}}
Traci
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I think the brain is an amazing thing...it protects us from the pain by putting us into shock, and then when you least expect it it hits you over the head like a rubber mallet!! And it definately comes and goes...i have flash backs ALL the time...little things trigger you that you wouldnt expect...i was at a time when i thought i was doing pretty good...and there in the walmart pharmacy i had a complete fit when i noticed hemmeroid creme...i had to leave the place in tears...cuz i still had the little buggers but i didnt have any babies...that was hard
you just have to roll with it i guess. I find i'm bothered alot lately cuz i'm in the place in this pregnancy where things started going downhill the last time...but it snuck up on me...i'm just trying to go day by day now.
As somebody said its not a destination, its a journey...hope its getting better...
and traci...i think of you every day when i watch adoption stories on tv...got my fingers crossed for you!! Hang in there cysters!!
ps...just as i'm typing this out i got a call from my nurse who took care of me when i had my girls...talk about good timing...she was really helpful to me and still checks up on me ...anyway...this is getting long...take care everyone!
__________________ Kim 40 PCOS/IR/IC/PIH/PTL
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It does come in waves. There is numbness that dulls things for a while when we are overloaded, and then there is anger or pain or sadness, then there is something else. I hope it gets easier for you!
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Thank you so much for all your replies! You ladies are amazing and such a great source of understanding and "been there". I'm greatful I have a place like this to come to.
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DD1: March 2006
DD2: January 2008
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Delayed grieving? 
