I am not new to the site, but havent really posted in this thread. I just need to release my feelings to someone I feel can relate to me.
I am 24 years old, and have been married for almost 2 yrs. I had an Ectopic pregnancy 6 years ago. Well earlier this year my husband and I decided to start trying for a baby. I went to an OBGYN and told him everything that was going on. He diagnosed me with PCOS. Well, I never got anywhere seeing him, so I have been seeing an RE. So far I guess things are going well.
I think I may becoming depressed. My sister who is almost 40 just had her 4th baby, and my husbands sister-in-law just had one too. So now whenever I go to either side of the family all anyone does is ohh, and ahh over the babies. Also, in my church a woman just had triplets. She already has 3 kids and is only 25. Her husband is a gang-banger, and was shot a couple of weeks ago. They cant even support themselves let alone 6 kids! Then there is another couple who seriously both have major problems mentally. They didnt even know she was pregnant until October when she was 7 months preg. SO she had the baby prematurally, and now they are asking the church to basically raise this child. They have asked people to come over and change him, fed him and other basics. I am so mad that I am someone who could care for a baby mentally, emotionally, and financially, and I cant get pregnant.
People often say things I dont think they realize are hurtful. Like my sister who just had the baby said she and her husband were thinking of having a 5th so this new one would have someone to play with. I said, just wait and I'll have one soon. Then she says, well what if you NEVER have one. I was so hurt that anyone would say that, let alone my own sister. Then my in-laws keep saying, Carrie, we would love a grandson for Christmas. God, it hurts so bad to hear that!
I am to the point I hate getting up, even taking a shower is becoming a hard thing to do. I dont want to go anywhere, I want to sit at home and do nothing.
I feel bad for my husband, he is trying to be supportive, but he will never know how I feel. No one in my family can relate, all of my sisters and my mom could pop babies out. I am just so sad. I am contemplating seeing a DR. for something for depression. I cant stand it anymore. Thanks for listening.
I do undestand you perfectly as I have gone through the same situations as you recently have. It is true that sometimes family do not help with the comments they make, add to that the fact that we are extra sensitive on any issue related to becoming PG, so any comment oriented to that subject hurt us.
Maybe I can share an advice with you : pick someone on your family who you trust the most and to whom you have a special connection, and talk to him / her. You have to explaing him/her all about PCOS, how it affects the life of the women who suffer it, and you need to tell him or her how you feel anytime someone makes a comment or puts pressure on the having-babies issue. Then, you have to ask to this person to please spread the word and talk to your relatives, even your inlaws so they refrain from making comments that can hurt you.
You already have to deal with the stress of the TTC process, and you need to get all the support you can get from your family. Of course, your sisters cannot hide their babies, but they can avoid comments that make you feel bad, it is hard enough to see other people´s babies, even from your own family.
In my case, my own family had a sort of intervention in general, and they avoid to put pressure on me about conceiving, even my husband do not want to make comments so I would not feel rushed or hurt. Last week I stopped to see babies clothes ( they are sooo adorable ) and he would take my hand and proposed to get an ice cream. When I asked him why he would not look at the babies clothes, he told me he will not check into that until it happens and in the meantime, there is no need to obsess, that things will happen.
Make sure to build a very strong relationship with your husband too. It is both of you into this TTC process and each one needs to be the other´s strenght.
If your depression is mild, you can still do a lot to help yourself. Make exercise, sign for a yoga class, I would also recommend some fish oil ( nature´s prozac with no side effects !! ) that can help before tou consider taking some more "serious" drugs that can also get in the way of your TTC journey. If your depression becomes too difficult to handle, then yes, a more serious treament would be in place.
Last but not least, do not give up. It will happen for you, just try as much as possible not to add some extra stress to this process, and try to stay positive. And yes please, have someone from your family ( or even a trusted friend ) to talk to your relatives and inlaws to stop putting pressure on you. Specially because it is not because you are not trying to have a baby, it´s just it will happen when the time is right.
I send you good vibes... take care !
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PCOS & Male Factor
TTC # 1 for more than 5 years
1st cycle IVF/FET
OMG !! BFP with last remaining 2 embryos on 21/03 !!
My little Natalie is here !! ( DD 12 / 11 / 2009 )
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Depressed(Long) 
