Since I've been depressed, I've been questioning my marriage. Wondering if I really am in love, if I made the right choice, if I can really make things work.
Has depression caused anyone else to question things? Is it my marriage that is making me depressed or my depression that is ruining my marriage? I know theres no easy answer, I just dont know how to deal with this
You know, I have read alot of your posts and I think that you are a great inspiration to all on this board. I hope that everything works out for you. I wish I could help you with your dilema, but I know when I start to feel like something is getting out of my control I fight for it if I feel it is worthwhile. That is how I feel with TTC. My husband wants to just leave it in God's hands and I want to find what God has given us to acheive our goal.
Good luck and I hope that you and your hubby can work things thru. I am sure there was something there when you married him.
Talk with you later,
Inge
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We've been having some serious problems lately. I'm lucky that he's a fighter and not willing to let me go so easily. We've had a rough couple of days, but I think that with some help from the doctor and maybe some therapy for me, things can be saved. I really just started to question if I got married too young, if I can see myself with him for the rest of my life, if I even deserve him...
I'll be sure to send my babydust your way til we start trying again.
Chantal, I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I went through something very similar when my DH and I had been married for about six months. I was severely depressed, to the point that I didn't even want to leave the house. I wondered every day whether being in this marriage was the right thing for me, or whether I was just hoping for something that wasn't meant to go on. I didn't know if I really loved him, and that scared me to death!
Finally he convinced me to see a doctor about it. I had had depression as a teenager and it went away on it's own after a few years, so I figured this would, too, so I wasn't so sure about seeing a doctor OR taking medication for it. Anyway, he prescibed Celexa and after about six weeks I started to notice a difference. When we went back in for a check up the doctor asked if I noticed a difference and I said that I did, but my DH said that he noticed a HUGE difference, that it was like night and day. Truly, I felt that it was the depression that was causing me to question my marriage, that I was wearing "gray colored glasses" and seeing everything in a negative light.
It was hard for me to admit that I needed help, but I was so glad that I got it. And my doctor felt that I just needed it to get over a rough patch I was experiencing. After about a year I weaned myself off of the Celexa and have been fine since. I hope that your doctor is able to help you and that you are able to find a medication (or whatever it may be that will help you). Depression is such a hard thing to live with. I will certainly be praying for you.
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Ellie
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Thanks CK, I can use all the babydust I can get, thats for sure.
I read thru your other posts and am glad that you are going to see a doc. Your hubby sounds like a keeper and same goes for you, a keeper. If you ever need someone to yack at you can pm me or whatever.
Good luck at the docs, I hope he helps you with everything.
Inge
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I also wanted to add that I think therapy is a wonderful idea. I have been seeing a therapist for a while now and it has been a fantastic outlet for me to talk about things and find solutions for problems that would otherwise just eat away at me. And it never hurts to have a non-bias listener.
Good luck!
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Ellie
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Thanks Inge. My hubby seems to think I'm a keeper. I just cant believe the amount of love that he has for me. The hurt in his eyes when I said it was over was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm very glad that he wants to hang in there to see if I can get better.
Ellie, thank you very much for sharing your story. It really is comforting to know that other couples have been through the same thing and made it through together. I know that we've got a tough road ahead of us...its gonna be a test on our marriage, thats for sure. It really is too bad that depression isnt talked about more often. I'm sure there's many couples that must go through the same thing and think that they're all alone?
You know when I was depressed my whole way of thinking was different. I was confused about everything, and nothing made any sort of sense, I questioned everything and could never think clear enough to ever find an answer.
I would bet as soon as you get some treatment things will get clearer, speaking from my own experience. When I look back at that time in my life it's hard to even try to recognize the person I was, and in time this will happen for you.
Don't give up on your marriage or anything else! This is just a temporary period in your life, try to look at the big picture. I know it's hard right now, but I just know in my heart things will get better!!!
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I was reading your post and thought wow I am not alone.
My story is.I have been with husband for going on 11 years.Within our first 2 yrs together we had daughter.We really didnt have time to get to know each other.Well after having daughter I had post-partum depression(severly)...I basically ate my way out of it and gained almost 80lbs.Ever since then I have battled weight and depression.I will be the first one to admit my marriage has not been easy.He isnt someone that is easy to live with and we have struggled but somehow are still here.After 5 yrs of being together we got married and on wedding night got pregnant.9 months later I had our son.I still to this day battle my depression.I have also gone to counseling and stopped it but started it again.Which I am back at the point I need to start again.
Right now I am struggling with depression.Yesterday was our 6 yr wedding anniversary and he didnt say one word about it.The stubborn thing I am was not gonna remind hime.So I spent the day in tears and really down.He told me my attitude succked and thank goodness I was seeing dr wednesday about my meds.Let me tell you I am at the point where I wonder if we should even be together.Yes for me it is worse when I am depressed.I love him but right now that isnt enough.I wonder is my depression being made worse because of how my marriage is.I just ask my self alot of these questions.
Anyway you are not alone.I think you have a keeper there.And just work on you and it will all fall into place
Angie, thank you for your reply. Please hang in there until you can see your doctor again and get back into therapy. Just talking with someone has made a huge difference for me. If you ever need to let loose, feel free to PM me.
Lately I've hit what seems like an all time low. so much stress, and i know i've been taking all of it out on dh. and he's depressed cuz i'm being such a b***h. today he asked me why i'm being so mean to him. i almost cried i felt so bad. cuz i couldn't deny it but there's nothing i can do about it. Why is it that the one you love the most gets hurt the most? I guess it's b/c if they truly love you, they'll take it all and still love you in the end. Well, I hope that now I have a new job that starts right away, and after I get back to curves and start tai chi (yes I'm gonna keep myself extremely busy) that things will get better. If they don't I'm going to see a doctor about meds. I really don't want to go back on them but it seems like there are a few good ones out there that don't have so many nasty s/e. I hope that I don't have to go there though. But if I do, it will be alright. I can't keep going on like this. Keep smiling everyone!!
luv
amber
I know how you feel. Lately with the stress that has been in my life and my depression and the long hours I have been putting in I have been a real witch towards my husband too...
I know I love him and he's the rock in my world..I am just so damn IRRATABLE!! and he gets the brunt of it. Like the above poster my husband loves me and is in it for the long haul but I have to be very careful and remember he is a person with feelings and not my verbal punching bag.
I wish I had the answer for you but all I can say is to hang in there and do what you need to do to save yourself and your marriage. We will get through this it's only temporary.
Quick while we are all in semi-good moods lets all go give our husbands a hug....
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I find myself questioning how I feel about my boyfriend and I know I get depressed but hadn't really considered it a problem. He on the other hand is having a lot of trouble with depression and possibly OCD or ADD or whatever. His therapist is reffering him to another doctor. I could benefit from therapy too but my insurance doesn't cover it and I'm not paying someone $250/hr to talk about my problems.
Depression & Marriage 
