Hi everyone....I just felt like talking about my story. Well when I was 11 years old my father was killed by his brother and dad. My twin sis and I was told by my mother that he was gone. My father lived in Tennessee and I lived in Illinois. So I knew my father but I never called him dad. We stopped going and seeing him at the age of 9. When we went down there to stay with him in the summer....my uncle would molest us. But we were young and didnt know what to do. My father was the nicest man a live in my view....but who doesnt think that about there father? lol.....well to the point....the reason I have depression is because of my father. My father was burned alive. My so called "uncle" set his house on fire. The reason this kills me so much is because he didnt die from smoke inhalation......he actually burned alive. When he made it to the door that is when he died. I have never gotten over my daddies death. I feel in some way if I were there and didnt stop going to see him he would still be alive today. But I know thats not true. I miss him more and more each day. And people always say time heals all wounds.....well the way I look at it is time never ends....so this feeling that I have is never ending. After my father was killed....my cousin killed himself and left behind 3 children. And then throughout the years I lost around 4 friends...mostly in car accidents. Then I lost my grandma a few years back. And then last year I lost my uncle and my other grandma....she was barried on my birthday. And I am going to be honest, I have tried killing myself twice and both times I was on medication. I am no longer on medication and I still have depression all the time but its not as bad as it use to be. I am really hoping that I will be able to conceive a baby. I think that would really complete me and my fiancee. We both have had hard lives and would love to have a child of our own. But I think I should end this by saying that there is always hope for tomorrow. Thanks for listening.
Melissa
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Me25 Brian25
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
R.I.P My Angel Marie Mommy & Daddy miss and love you so much!!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I just want to say I would love to respond to your post but I have to put my little ones done, including my DH. As soon as they are in bed I will come back and respond.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Im so sorry for all the terrible situations that u have been through...
please try and stay strong!!! and pm me anytime you wanna talk!!!
I will keep you in my thoughts.....may you and your fiance get your BFP soon......by the way i am engaged as well!!! when is your wedding?
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Im so sorry for all the terrible situations that u have been through...
please try and stay strong!!! and pm me anytime you wanna talk!!!
I will keep you in my thoughts.....may you and your fiance get your BFP soon......by the way i am engaged as well!!! when is your wedding?
I dont know yet when we are getting married. He wants to get married next month but I dont know about that. He just wants a little wedding and he wants to get married so fast, but I want to plan a wonderful wedding, so he is going to have to wait....lol....We have been together for 1 year and 4 months so I think I might want to wait until our 2 year mark. But who knows. So when is your wedding? And yes I will try and stay strong. Since I am off my meds I seem to do better with the suicidal thoughts. And now I am going through this with PCOS and I really want a baby so I am not going to think about sad things anymore....lol...this condition is draining me enough as it is ya know. So I am going to keep my head high and have faith that I can get through this and be a success story on SC. Hope to talk to you soon.
Thanks Again,
Melissa
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Me25 Brian25
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
R.I.P My Angel Marie Mommy & Daddy miss and love you so much!!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Melissa,
I am so sorry that you have been through so many difficult times. It's sad when terrible things happen to good people. Please try to stay strong. It sounds like you have a lot to look forward to with your marriage. Congratulations on your engagement! I think it's important to try to build a good future with your fiance while also honoring the people that you have lost. I hope that you get a BFP soon and that your dreams for the future come true.
From,
Another Melissa in IL
__________________ Mel (31) and DH (31)
married for 7 years
ttc for 4 years
diagnosed 9/05
4 iuis
4 ivfs
1 chemical pg
2 ivfs converted to iui
Hi melissa!how are u doing today?
im at work today, the last of 4 in a row....ugggg ...im tired
my wedding is May3./1008, i just want a simple wedding with close friends and family, you know little flowers, my dress, cake, limo, pictures 1 maid of honor, 1 best man, 1 flower girl&ring bearer!!! i will pm you with my email address so we can chat on there some time and compair wedding plans!!!! And don't you worry about that BFP ....i feel good about both of us getting them!!!!! Take Care Your Friend Amy~~~
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Melissa,
I am so sorry that you have been through so many difficult times. It's sad when terrible things happen to good people. Please try to stay strong. It sounds like you have a lot to look forward to with your marriage. Congratulations on your engagement! I think it's important to try to build a good future with your fiance while also honoring the people that you have lost. I hope that you get a BFP soon and that your dreams for the future come true.
From,
Another Melissa in IL
Yeah I do have a lot to look forward to with my wedding. I am really excited. And thank you so much for your comment. It really does mean a lot to me. And your name is so BEAUTIFUL.....lol.....and what part of Illinois do you live in if you dont mind me asking. I would love to get out of this state......
Thanks,
Melissa
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Me25 Brian25
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
R.I.P My Angel Marie Mommy & Daddy miss and love you so much!!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Hi melissa!how are u doing today?
im at work today, the last of 4 in a row....ugggg ...im tired
my wedding is May3./1008, i just want a simple wedding with close friends and family, you know little flowers, my dress, cake, limo, pictures 1 maid of honor, 1 best man, 1 flower girl&ring bearer!!! i will pm you with my email address so we can chat on there some time and compair wedding plans!!!! And don't you worry about that BFP ....i feel good about both of us getting them!!!!! Take Care Your Friend Amy~~~
Yeah it sucks that you have to work....I know how that was when I had a job....lol...but now I dont have to work because Brian wont let me.....but you wont see me complaining! LOL...I like the sound of your wedding. And yes I feel good about our BFP too. And yes I would love to chat with you about our wedding plans. Hope you have a great Easter. Oh yes, I am going to be making a thread in this depression topic. And I would love for you to read it so I can get your feedback.....
Melissa
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Me25 Brian25
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
R.I.P My Angel Marie Mommy & Daddy miss and love you so much!!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Melissa, every time I read one of your threads I get so sad! A child doesn't deserve such terrifying life. You're going to have a lot more to conquer in your lifetime, but I think it may be safe to say the worst is over. I wish that I could say I feel your pain, but I'd be lying. I can feel your PCOS pain, but your history is just unbelievably sad and I think that I can only respect you more because you seem to be secure enough to open up to everyone here. I know you're depression would subside if you got pregnant, but like I said in the other thread, you're going to have to work harder for it. No one should have to go through what you went through, but look at it this way, you made it through! You are alive and well to tell us, and what doesn't kill us what? ONLY MAKES US STRONGER. You're a lovely woman and your life seems to be coming together. You're getting married! Hooray hooray hooray... lol
__________________
under construction
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Melissa, every time I read one of your threads I get so sad! A child doesn't deserve such terrifying life. You're going to have a lot more to conquer in your lifetime, but I think it may be safe to say the worst is over. I wish that I could say I feel your pain, but I'd be lying. I can feel your PCOS pain, but your history is just unbelievably sad and I think that I can only respect you more because you seem to be secure enough to open up to everyone here. I know you're depression would subside if you got pregnant, but like I said in the other thread, you're going to have to work harder for it. No one should have to go through what you went through, but look at it this way, you made it through! You are alive and well to tell us, and what doesn't kill us what? ONLY MAKES US STRONGER. You're a lovely woman and your life seems to be coming together. You're getting married! Hooray hooray hooray... lol
I ask God almost everyday why I am still going through this. Havent I gone through enough in my life? But like you said what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger. But with my depression I always feel sorry for myself and I hate feeling sorry for myself. And yes I am looking forward to my wedding.....if I dont kill him first....JK LOL....Thanks for all your support. PM me anytime....I would write more but I am tired and he wants me to go to bed.
Melissa
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Me25 Brian25
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
R.I.P My Angel Marie Mommy & Daddy miss and love you so much!!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Hey Melissa,
I live in the Chicago suburbs. I grew up here in the burbs and then went to college in Champaign/Urbana. I do not like the winter weather around here but other than that I like it. I keep tossing around the idea in my head of moving into Chicago and being a total city girl if we remain childless. I think my dog would be a cute city dog but my DH would never let me put clothes on her!
How are the wedding plans coming along? My little brother is getting married in June and I just got fitted for my bmaid dress.
Melissa
__________________ Mel (31) and DH (31)
married for 7 years
ttc for 4 years
diagnosed 9/05
4 iuis
4 ivfs
1 chemical pg
2 ivfs converted to iui
Hey Melissa,
I live in the Chicago suburbs. I grew up here in the burbs and then went to college in Champaign/Urbana. I do not like the winter weather around here but other than that I like it. I keep tossing around the idea in my head of moving into Chicago and being a total city girl if we remain childless. I think my dog would be a cute city dog but my DH would never let me put clothes on her!
How are the wedding plans coming along? My little brother is getting married in June and I just got fitted for my bmaid dress.
Melissa
Yeah I have been to Champain a number of times. And I have been to Chicago a few times. I like my smaller towns though. LOL What kind of dog do you have? My twin sister has 2 pitbulls. But they are pratically mine because I always doggy sit them....I am watching them now. LOL. Well I have to be going. Talk to you later.
Melissa
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Me25 Brian25
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
R.I.P My Angel Marie Mommy & Daddy miss and love you so much!!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DEPRESSION......a sad part of me 
lol
