This is my first post here. I stayed up last night reading most of the posts back in the forum. I can't express how amazing it is to find that there are other women with the same problem.
I don't want to discourage anyone with the negative mood I have right now but I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement from someone...
I just can't take it anymore. I can't look in the mirror anymore, I have hair EVERYWHERE, and it's visible, and no matter how many hours a day I spend waxing and plucking it it all comes back. I feel like a freak, I think about this most of my waking hours, and for some reason I even feel guilty for it, even though rationally I know it is not something I have done but something that happened to me.
Still, I just cannot live a normal life. This affects every aspect of my life. Sure, I'm married and I work and have friends and all but I have to think about this with every little thing I do. I even started not going to certain places or doing certain things because the lighting there makes all my hair visible... if I could I would only go out at night...
I developed serious hate towards my body. I would be beautiful without all this hair but now I feel like some kind of monster, and no matter how try and sometimes even succeed in making myself feel better about it, it all falls down like a house of cards as soon as I see yet another commercial with some smooth hairless model. It's everywhere, it's in people's comments, even if they're not directed at me. I just hate myself and don't want to see people at all.
My husband doesn't care. But my problem is that I am totally embarrassed talking about it to anyone else, I just can't bring myself to do it, and I'm afraid that if I shave or do laser my husband will blurt it out in conversation with our friends or family because he thinks it's "not a big deal".
How do you do that? how do you go do laser and than show up one day with less hair on your face? how do you explain it to people without dying from shame?
I'm so ashamed I feel like my body is dirty, not pure
I feel ya. I still have days where I absolutely hate everything about my body, but for the most part (when it comes to the hair) I just try and worry about the worst parts and not stress over other things. For instance, I try and keep up with my "man-stache" and the dark, course hairs that grow on and under my chin, but I don't often even bother worrying about the hair on my backside or the lighter hairs that grow on my face (cuz someone would really have to be looking to see these, and why would they be looking at me like that?) Anywho, you just have to come to a point where you accept certain things. Let the less severe hair growth go and only focus on what bothers you most. Just keeping up with my face is a daily task- I don't have time to focus on the other areas. By the way, I've never shaved- on my face I like to use the Sally Hensen cream hair remover you can get at Wal Mart. I'm scared of the "myths" of shaving (hair coming back darker and faster,) so I just stick with the cream and it seems to work... plus it makes you feel a little more feminine compared to shaving.
Cycle Two - May 30 Metformin 1500mg Prometrium 400mg Clomid 100mg BUST
Cycle Three - (Final cycle if no ovulation To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ) Metformin 1500mg Prometrium 400mg Clomid 150mg
Lia, it's not that you "would be" beautiful without the hair... you ARE beautiful right now!!! I know just how you feel about the hair, believe me. But the fact of the matter is that we see our own hair problems sooooo much more than anyone else does. Being so concerned with hair, I've noticed that many, many women have at least some hair on their face, whether it is dark hair, stubble from shaving (yes I see this more than you would think!), or long blonde hair on the cheeks and sideburns... a lot of women have it. And it's your choice whether to leave some of it or take care of it all (for me personally, removing all the hair makes me feel a lot more confident and good looking.)
But it's all about attitude also. Since I have started feeling better about my body I realize I turn more heads in the street. I was never a very good looking woman, or at least I didn't think I was. But now that I feel more confident, it shows. It's amazing how just feeling better about yourself changes everything...
As far as the hair, I have mild facial hair (just blonde or lightly pigmented thankfully) and a lot of dark but fine hair all over my body... I just get rid of it in various ways... shaving, bleaching, or trimming depending on the area... it's a lot of upkeep but I've gotten used to the routine and really it doesn't take much longer than a lot of women take to get ready (doing their hair or makeup, etc.) And I don't have to do it every day. For me, the answer was to keep up with the hair, not think so negatively about the hair and NOT inspect for new hair constantly (this is actually much easier when you get rid of the hair so there's nothing to inspect!) and to remind myself that I am NOT my hair, I am ME as a whole, I can be a good looking woman if I am confident and take care of myself and have respect for myself. That was really the answer for me. I hope this helps you some.
__________________ Making my way to my ideal weight... (BMI 21.9)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
How do you do that? how do you go do laser and than show up one day with less hair on your face? how do you explain it to people without dying from shame?
Many women who've turned to laser say it's one of the best investments they've even made. Not just for their appearance, but for their sense of well being.
Also, you won't go in one day with hair, and the next day not have it. You can shave for 3 weeks leading up to your first laser treatment (no waxing or plucking), and then in the days following your first treatment the affected hairs will simply fall out gradually. The hairs that aren't affected, you can shave. Frequently after your second session, there isn't much to shave, and by the 4th it's just a few baby hairs.
I've found that doctor's offices have better rates on laser than so-called laser 'spas', and laser treatments are FAR cheaper than they used to be.
Plus some cysters have gotten their insurance to cover it.
__________________
Hey, SoulCysters! Need to eat more veggies, but can't find recipes??
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I only found this board a few days ago, and have been reading ALOT of the posts over the last few days.
I have to say, even though nothing in my ody has changed, I'm still hairy and have some acne and all, but just from reading here it makes me feel like, well - less of a freak. Like I'm not alone and there are other women out there that are dealing with it, and it is a bit of a relief to know that.
MommaMcCoy - I agree with you, I do tend to just focus on the wort areas, otherwise I would just get totally lost with ALL this hair, since I am very much covered with peach fuzz... my problem is that my peach fuzz is 100% dark and I have bright skin... horrible combination
sparkbark - Totally agree with you as well. And sometimes I do get to the point where I feel this way, Ifeel beautiful and i can see how it makes other people see the good in me as well. But the thing is - sometimes we look at ourselves through the eyes of the people around us. And when I'm around people - actually, mostly women - who are very judgemental about things like that, or people that look at me funny - that I can feel their eyes looking around my face or staring at me - it just makes all the sef confinance I built crumble down at once. And I just can't get myself to not start hating myself again, want to be alone and break down and cry. Happens to me alot.
Especially around kids... most people don't understand why I am not so enthusiastic about being around kids, and I would be only they tend to be so honest... and embarassing... they can just stare at you or say something that would point out some funny patch of hair you have and make you just want to disappear...
KatCarney - thank you for your reply! since I have dark peach fuzz on my face, and I want to have lazer on my chin and upper lip I can't just isolate it there and have to have it ALL over my face because otherwise I would have this strange sudden hairline... it's very fine but it's dark, and with certain lighting it looks HORRIBLE...
I read posts hee about alot of women who shave - I admire them for the courage. I just don't know if I can make that leap... because then when I'll see people I havn't seen in a while they'll notice I'm SO different and I just don't know how to go about explaining this... seriously, I think about this alot. And what worries me more - what if the hair grows back only in certain places, or not symmetric and now I have a worse problem...
I try to remind myself sometimes that this hair is a part of my body. That I can't be mad at myself for it because I didn't just decide to grow it one day. But this only works when I'm alone. There aren't any people like me on TV or in movies, I never see women as hairy as me out there so it's hard to constantly convince myself it's not that bad.
Which reminds me - I don't know if you guys have seen this, but a few weeks ago on Larry King, a woman from the polygamist compount in Texas was interviewd and she had an honest to god unibrow. I was kind of amazed to see that on TV, it was a pretty straight dark one, and it was so cool how it seems like it was no big deal for her at all. It kinda warmed my heart.
Anyway, this website is just amazing. Made me feel like a human being again (and less of a "missing link" ). You guys are just... I don't have enough words for this... but I seriously want to personally give all of you a hug, you're heros to me
I read posts hee about alot of women who shave - I admire them for the courage. I just don't know if I can make that leap... because then when I'll see people I havn't seen in a while they'll notice I'm SO different and I just don't know how to go about explaining this... seriously, I think about this alot.
You don't explain to anyone why you choose what you wear each day...why should you explain anything else that is on and off of your body...
Plus, no one will ask you, anyway...
__________________
Hey, SoulCysters! Need to eat more veggies, but can't find recipes??
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I know what you mean about being nervous of going in hairy one day and coming in the next without hair. Kat is right though, laser tends to be a gradual process. It doesn't just go away. Slowly you notice results, so people tend to not notice. I teach junior high and it was one of my big concerns. I know the students notice, but with the laser that I recently started, I do not think they are noticing the hair as much. I also don't think they are noticing the process of the removal. Facial hair and body hair have really impacted my self image in a negative way. I am beginning to cope, and the laser hair removal is a god send. I can tell my self esteem is back on the rise. A great feeling! I never shaved either, it was too difficult for me to bring myself to do. I know a lot of woman do, but I just couldn't bring myself to do. I know I put a lot of those feelings on myself, but certainly our societal views make it a challenge too. My DH is amazing and also doesn't care. He does know how much it bothers me and is sensitive not to say things to others. Hang in there!
Well this is somewhat encouraging. Thank you for that.
By the way, thought I would mention - talked to DH today, being al depressed and all, and told him how ugly I feel with my acne and hair.
He was a little surprised! he said that I should do something about it if it bothers me but I should know this has nothing to do with beauty - it's just something that happens ON my skin! how can something that just happened on your skin and you have no control on have anything to do with beauty?
Lia - I know how you feel. I'm constantly worried about what people are seeing on my face and what they are thinking. I try not to let it bother me but it's really hard at times. It affects my life and I hate that it does. I'm really trying to not let it bother me so much (easier said then done) because I know I'm going to continue to drive myself crazy if I don't.
Have you thought about trying Vaniqa? It's a topical treatment for the facial hair. It's a bit pricey but I've had pretty good luck with it. I've been using it for about six months now and it has helped with the hair a good amount. I still have to pluck but the finer hair that I have has really slowed down.
Hang in there girl!! You're not alone!! :o)
__________________ I've got one fat cat! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I developed serious hate towards my body. I would be beautiful without all this hair but now I feel like some kind of monster, and no matter how try and sometimes even succeed in making myself feel better about it, it all falls down like a house of cards as soon as I see yet another commercial with some smooth hairless model
Don't let it get you down!
For me, shaving's the answer. I shave my face every morning and simply cover up the other hairy areas.
By the way, thought I would mention - talked to DH today, being al depressed and all, and told him how ugly I feel with my acne and hair.
He was a little surprised! he said that I should do something about it if it bothers me but I should know this has nothing to do with beauty - it's just something that happens ON my skin! how can something that just happened on your skin and you have no control on have anything to do with beauty?
We all have our own feelings about what is beautiful, and if it bothers you, it bothers you... The good thing is that it's VERY fixable.
But beyond that, if high androgens are driving your skin issue, your depression might be driven by your hormones,too, and not just by your feelings about beauty.
In addition to checking into laser, you might also want to talk to your doctor about your androgen levels. If they're high, you might want to ask for an anti-androgen. Getting your androgens under control can help with hair/skin, mood, and in some cases, belly fat!!
Consider Laser hair removal like weightloss. Would you be embarrassed to lose weight? I think if anything, the people around you, who truly care for & value you, would be happy to see you are doing something about your problem. I bet it will help with your depression to a degree and they'll notice your improved mood/attitude more then any reduction in hair.
Just think of it as personal grooming. You don't shy from brushing your teeth, or washing your hair - why shy away from managing an unatural condition which clearly bothers you?
BTW, I laser my whole face/neck. Like you, I'm fair skinned with dark hair. Some areas are finer then others, yet due to years of shaving, most of the hairs pre-laser appeared/felt coarse and dense. I had a lot of hair to begin with. I've had about 8 treatments now, and a lot of the hair has gone away. Also, a lot of what remains is finer and more sparse then before. It's almost like the laser is reversing the process of time and my hair is coming in the way it first did (before it was a major problem for me).
My personal advice woud be don't start shaving unless you intend on doing laser treatments. When I first started shaving it was GREAT. For a few years, I was like "wow, why didn't I do this sooner?" But eventually it reeked havoc on my face, with shaddows and bad stubble and changing the appearance/feel of the hair. (It doesn't change the actual hair follicle, but imagine cutting a hair at it's thickest part, it won't look/feel soft/fine anymore. This is just my personal advice, maybe other cysters without as much hair as I had didn't run into this problem. But if I had to do it over again, I would have NEVER reached for that razor. But like I mentioned it is the best thing to do between laser treatments, and it is only temporary and for shorter periods of time, as eventually the hair will be gone.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I sympathise with you totally not with the hair growth but with teh feelings of total despair ... I dont have what you have but I have male pattern baldness every waking min is spent freaking abuot the future ...
I wanted to send you my lovexx
__________________ Metformin To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I feel so inspired.....i have the same problem with too much hair in places i dont want it! The latin heritage in me means alot of it is dark and relatively thick. which has stolen all my self confidence and femininity....but i have decided im not going to let it run my life!
THANK YOU.xxxx
__________________ muchly love hugs and support .xxx
he said that I should do something about it if it bothers me but I should know this has nothing to do with beauty - it's just something that happens ON my skin! how can something that just happened on your skin and you have no control on have anything to do with beauty?He is such an angel sometimes.
I wish I had a husband like that.....if of course I was married.
There are so many options out there, Kat was right when she said you could go see a doctor and maybe get an anti-androgen, they have helped so many here from what I've read........or just do the laser.
But at the end of the day, if I had a husband who said those things to me, I'd feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
__________________
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
Despair 
I feel like my body is dirty, not pure 
Hang in there!
