Devasted!!!

breoliver · 10-01-2006, 04:32 PM

I got diagnosed about 2 weeks ago, found out that I am allergic to Gluc/Met so I can take that to start ovulating. Got told that I need to loose MORE weight or else a fert specialist won't see me and I have a best friend who did something unbelivable selfish!!!

She had an abortion in January of this year (before I found out about this) which I didn't agree with then, but its not my place to judge and whatever so i just supported her and was there for her.

Well I told her my dilemma and that I probably am not going to get pregnant ever (well its my fear) and she tells me she is pregnant AGAIN and contemplating abortion AGAIN!!!!! And gives me this sob story about how unsupportive her boyfriend is being.

Sorry for the rant, you guys are the only ones who I feel would understand why I am so upset about this!!! How can people who are EXTREAMLY FERTILE and get pregnant 2x in one year even contemplate having an abortion when there are other women out there who are struggling everyday to get pregnant just 1x!!!!!!

*~SugarPlums~* · 10-01-2006, 05:59 PM

I am in a situation similar to your, although I finally have two children (twins) after ttc for 10 years, we are in the process of starting again. About 2 weeks ago, my sil informed me she just had an aborion (2nd one that I know of). I am extremely upset because everyone knows our ttc troubles. Although noone knows we are ttc know, they know of everything we have gone though, especially our losses. She said she just wasn't ready for a baby. Then why have unprotected sex?!?!? I cannot even speak to her. I am totally avoiding her. She should have never mentioned it to me. Neither should your freind , especially after she knows what you are going through. I am sorry (((((hugs)))))

MiracleMom · 10-01-2006, 06:20 PM

I believe{personally}that abortion is wrong and I very much understand your upset!
Why don't these people just use BC instead of getting pregnant?...or if they get into a situation where they find themselves pregnant why not take the adoption route and give the baby a life with somebody who is longing for a child!?
I just don't get it!!

gooberdoo · 10-01-2006, 06:26 PM

I'm very sorry. I know we are not supposed to judge people, but I do not agree with abortion ever, let alone as a method for birth control. Why not have the baby and put it up for adoption? At the very least, knowing what you are going through, your friend should have NEVER said anything to you about it. Advocates say it's a personal choice. Well then, keep it personal.

elizabethn · 10-01-2006, 08:54 PM

I would tell her how she has made you feel, maybe in a letter or email if it's easier. Maybe she'll see how selfish and thoughtless she's being. One thing to remember is that the issue is not whether you think abortion is wrong, but that she ought to keep her thoughts to herself. Everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do and it's their right, but to tell you all this knowing what you are going through is terribly insensitive. :hug

haeneleh · 10-01-2006, 09:57 PM

I'm not a big proponent of abortion - sort of feel a time and a place for a personal decision. I know I could not do that....I just don't understand people who, after one "mistake", can continue on and constantly repeat themselves. Don't they realize just what is at stake? Really -- how expensive are condoms, BCP, or foam??

LookingForHope16 · 10-02-2006, 02:48 AM

I can understand how you feel!!

I have had a similar situation and cried for hours.

I also have a friend who is preg now and she's just gloating in my face that she is liek 9 months and I'll never have one.

(((HUGS)))
Try and tell her your feelings hun. I hope that things get better!
Good Luck TTC!!

Erika Leigh
Teen Mod!

flyfisher · 10-02-2006, 02:57 AM

Good grief, how insensitive can a person be....Birthcontrol is inexpensive and keeps from having an unwanted pregnancy. Why would anyone who wasn't wanting a child and is pg go to a friend who they know is having a hard time ttc and tell them that they are pg again. Try to get her to let you adopt the baby instead of having an abortion, if you want the baby. I AM SO SORRY!!! ((HUGS)))

Emzi06 · 10-02-2006, 03:45 AM

I think abortion is irresponsible. There are so many women...husbands and wives ttc and can't. If someone gets pg and they're not ready or it's an accident -- it's irresponsible. And, how could someone ever kill a harmless baby that has done nothing wrong? At least give birth and give the child up for adoption so that someone who can't have a baby can love it like it's their own.

I know abortion is something that everyone has their own opinion about, but I just thought I'd share what is going through my mine.

I am so sorry that yall are in these situations. Just last weekend I kind of had a situation of my own. This is what happened:

My brother(21) and his gf(20?) are pregnant. The gf already has an 18mo old son from a previous relationship. While I'm very excited to be an aunt I can't help but be jealous, ya know? Anyway -- the current pgcy is an uh-oh, unplanned kinda thing, but they're happy about it and keeping the baby. They both know the stuff that my hubby and I are going through and it's touchy stuff that I don't normally talk to just anyone about.

Anywhoo -- Just out of the blue my brother is like "Crystal and I have talked about it...And, if you can't have a baby we've decided to have one for you!" It caught me off guard majorly and I'm thinking they want to be a surrogate for hubby and me. Oh no! I was way off...They then proceeded to tell me that if they happened to get pg again after my neice is born that they'd just give me their baby!!

Now, you tell me...How irresponsible is that? I was mortified. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die or cry...either would have been efficient at the time. Seriously...if they weren't ready for another baby then they should have been more careful! I know that her current pgcy is unplanned, but I also have a feeling that it was due to their lack of responsiblity.

Girls, people can be so cruel. That's why we gotta stick together!! I'm so happy that I've found this forum. I've learned so much about IR and also I've seen that there are people out there with the same kind of things going on in their(your) lives as mine. I don't feel so alone!

Ok...that should be long enough huh? Thanks for reading if you actually got through that whole thing.

MommyJenny74 · 10-02-2006, 05:49 AM

Hi cysters,
I'm horrified by these stories! I'm personally against abortion. I don't believe in there being any "unwanted" children. I know several people who would raise those children with love and want them every day of their lives (Josh and I included!) I'm also adopted, so I give respect to my birthmother for giving birth to me and then making the (I'm sure) very difficult decision to give me up. She gave joy to my parents, who never were able to conceive.

Please talk to your friend! She can give hope and joy to a hurting couple!

And yes I agree, why don't people who don't want babies take BC!?!? You can get it free, so there's really no excuse!

GRR, sorry if this is a rant, I really feel strongly about this issue!

Hugs to you cysters
Jenny

breoliver · 10-02-2006, 01:19 PM

Thanks you guys for listening and sharing your stories. I really do think she is just caught up in her own little world. I sent her an e-mail telling her how I feel. Of course I haven't gotten a response. She either feels completely terrible for what she did, or she is pissed at me that I don't agree with abortion.

I suggested adoption. But she is going to do what she wants.

I think there are A LOT of insensitive people out there. Either they are doing it milciously or are honestly thinking they are going to help.

I've done all I can do, but this is one more thing that I do not need to bring me down!!!!!

Thanks again for your support!!!!

georgy · 10-02-2006, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jencyster

Abortion is wrong, I do agree. Giving it up for adoption would be a better choice, but everyone has a right to say and do whatever they want I guess.

Your friend does seem insensitive, but she may not know exactly how upset you are, she may just be caught up in her own little world.

Absolutely let her know how you feel, never keep things bottled up, it'll only make things worse.

Jen

I do agree with most of Jencysters post, you're friend is being very insensitive. But as Jen said, everyone has a right to say and do whatever they want within the law...thats what our boys are fighting for and why our grandparents fought in WW2.

However, I am pro-choice. I don't believe that abortion in general is wrong, I might not agree with everyones choices in life, but I'll fight tooth and nail for them to make those choices.

belle84 · 10-02-2006, 02:17 PM

im so sorry! iknow what its like but just remember there are always options for us! and i just hope that no one ever puts her in thaty same situation x every one jokes my bf can get women preg by looking at them! (has 3 kids) but i dnt know if they know my problems but still i jsut wanna punch them lol xxx xxx xxx also i jsut wanna say i dont agree with abortion AT ALL!! but i know there are some times its the only way! and i am pro choice ans we shouldnt put anyone down as there are legitimate reasons for having them! but again spend £5 and get some damn condoms!! lol xx

Miss P · 10-02-2006, 03:42 PM

Even though we use it to regulate us THAT"S WHAT BCP'S ARE FOR!! or just keep your legs shut!! I know why you are upset and I'm upset for you. I hope all gets better for you dear. Maybe you need to take some time away from that friend. Welcome to the SC enjoy yourself.