DH crisis of faith

ellie_anna · 09-04-2006, 04:11 AM

I'm not sure how to start this but here it goes,

DH and I were both raised as cathloics. We were married in the church and have now been married for two years. One of those years we have been TTC without any luck so far. I had very slight moments of questioning my faith and my beliefs, but am finally starting to fully come around. But I have never stopped praying. We do all the traditional dinner prayers in our house but I suggested that we pray together about TTC. I'm not expecting a miracle in our lives, but I do believe in the power of prayer. DH totally shook up my world by his heisated response. He said that he didn't think that he believed in any organized religion anymore nor praying. But still believes in God. He wants to discuss this further but I told him I need time to think about what he has said. We have a strong marriage, but his lack of faith scares me a little because this is one of the foundations of our relationship. It has been about a week now and I have thought about this almost non-stop, but still don't know what to say or do. I just don't know if I should push the issue or just accept it as long as he respects my decision to pratice religion. Any suggestions? Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

KatCarney · 09-04-2006, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellie_anna

He wants to discuss this further but I told him I need time to think about what he has said...

I think you should hear him out... Something has obeviously happened to warrant the change, and it's a good thing that he wants to discuss it with you. At least listen to him before making a decision as to what to do...

I wish I could offer more advice than that.

georgy · 09-04-2006, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellie_anna

I just don't know if I should push the issue or just accept it as long as he respects my decision to pratice religion. Any suggestions? Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

I think you should accept his choice and respect his choice. My husband is a practicing Roman Catholic, as are my mum and her side of the family, and his dad and that side of the family.

I am athiest and my dad was christian, but not catholic, my mum is RC. Hubbys dad is RC and his mum is christian but not catholic too. They all do their things on Sundays etc, and It hasn't affected our relationship nor our parents...marriage is about compromise and acceptance, if he chooses not to accept an 'organised' religion, but still believes in a god, then you still have a common ground and if you want it enough, you should both be able to work through it. x

jennynd · 09-05-2006, 07:04 PM

Hi Ellie! First, I want to invite you over to the Catholic Cysters Corner thread... there is a good bunch of Catholic women with many different life experiences there. We'd love to get to know you & help you out with this on an ongoing basis.

As for DH, I think the first thing you must do is not question why he doesn't see value in religion & prayer anymore but rather why you do. If you can't answer the questions he has for yourself then you won't be able to help answer them for him. I know many Catholics who struggle to keep their faith & I often find that the problem isn't that they don't believe anymore it is just that they don't have the answers they need. There are many beliefs of the faith that can be misunderstood even by Catholics who have practiced all their lives. I would show him compassion & be very patient & encourage him to really seek out answers in the Catholic faith before turning his back completely on it. If you can get him to talk to a priest, go to an Inquiry/RCIA class, or even just write down all of his questions so you can help him find his answers I think he will continue in the right direction. God bless & GL!

Swingin' Cyster · 09-05-2006, 08:05 PM

Hi Ellie,
I'm Catholic too and I work for a Catholic radio station so I'm surrounded by really intelligent Catholics... lucky me...

It's very normal for each of us to question God and religion. It's important though, to understand that to every one of his questions there is an answer in the Catholic faith. Don't give up just b/c you can't find it. Let me suggest some resources.
1. Catholic Answers - probably the foremost Catholic Apologetics company on the face of the earth.
2. Knights of Columbus - your husband is very young and could use good Catholic masculine friendships and this would provide that!!
3. Dr. Gregory Popcak - Greg is a Catholic psychologist and conducts his practice over the phone. He is amazing and very down to earth. He would be good for a pick me up or in-depth counseling. Tell him Kara sent you.
It's very easy to start disbelieving b/c we see so much evil and suffering in the world. That's the devil attacking! Evil and suffering are consequences of man choosing himself over God. Every moment of every day we are called to draw closer to God (Father, Son and Spirit) and to allow Him to rule in us. Every time we choose selfishness instead, we are given the option of repenting and returning to Him.
Besides if life was so great here on earth, what would we have to look forward to in Heaven?

Be assured of my prayers!!
blessings, Kara

Lemonade Ladybug · 09-05-2006, 11:03 PM

Hi Ellie.

Keeping you close to my heart in prayers. BIG HUGS!!!

LL

ellie_anna · 09-06-2006, 11:21 PM

I just want to thank all the ladies who have posted here. Are of your suggestions and thoughts have been very helpful. Something that I have learned along the way is DH and I can get through anything as long as we remain respectful to each other and keep the communication open. I just have to find ways to explain to him way its important to me.

I think more than anything i was shocked by the confession he made! But I'm over that now.

I don't know what others think but I don't believe in bashing someone over the head with my opinions. I just figure if I'm honest he will either come around or we will have to find a mutual repsect for each others beliefs. I guess time will tell!

Again, thanks so much!