Is DH or DB in the dark? (Bisexuals)

Cretia5080 · 10-24-2003, 01:46 AM

Hey girls,

I was thinking this might be a good topic for us...Does your DH or DB know you are bisexual, or know about your relationship if you have one?

For me, my DH knows I am bi, but has expressed that he does not approve, and wants nothing to do with it. He said that if I had to have a girlfriend, he wanted to know NOTHING about it. So I have kept to his wishes. I have a girlfriend, but he knows nothing...I never liked the 3some thing, so this is fine with me...

Cretia5080 · 11-03-2003, 01:42 AM

Ummmmm....yeah.....

VeggieGirl · 11-10-2003, 01:24 AM

I've alluded to it to my boyfriend, and if he asked, I would tell him that I'm curious. I've never had a bisexual experience, but if I ever do, I would tell him and see how he takes it. To me, it would be an entirely different area of my life, but I can see how people consider it cheating.

KattforLife · 11-10-2003, 01:29 AM

I do have a little past on me that my boyfriend knows about. But being that I left her for james, I dont think im that curious anymore. I was a young sewer of my wild oats.

Ive never been curious to go back, or with anyone else of any sex for that matter. I just love james.

This is a good question. I like it.

Take care,
katt.

Zebra · 11-15-2003, 05:19 PM

I think your question was a very good one. It is one the hardest ones to figure out when you are bi. My dh and I tell each other everything, so it is all in the open. we thrive on the honesty of our relationship and manage to process it without jealousy. Helps that he is bi too, so knows where I am coming from.
I am realy glad you asked the questions, because I was wondering if anyone was "out" there. Certainly it makes things very complicated. I hope you are happy with either relationship and it works for you! Let me know if you ever feel like talking.

Zebra

CindyLou · 12-03-2003, 01:29 AM

I think this is a good subject too - it's been a while since I've visited and I thought I'd read what's new to pcos and the boards and found this subject.

My dh knows I'm bi - he's actually the one that told me I was - sounds weird? Well - we hadn't started dating yet and I mentioned a few things in my past and he said "Are you lesbian or bi?" - I actually had thought I was - then it all hit me - yep I'm bi. I definately like men and I definately like women - both almost as much as the other.

Do I have a girlfriend? No - I've only had one encounter and it didn't go well - she really wanted to date my sweetie instead. I'm really only looking for a good friend right now anyway - I want a woman who is les. or bi who really gets where I'm coming from. But my dh said he'd be supportive - he said he's done the 3some thing and it's not all that exciting - just like watching a porno - and he gets all the lovin' he wants from me - so he said he won't feel left out. How perfect eh?

Thought I'd put my two cents in.

CindyLou

curlygrrl · 12-03-2003, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cretia5080
For me, my DH knows I am bi, but has expressed that he does not approve, and wants nothing to do with it. He said that if I had to have a girlfriend, he wanted to know NOTHING about it.

This is the same thing my DH said, years ago when we talked about it. But I don't necessarily believe it. It just seems like the sneaking around would cause such an environment of mistrust. And my DH doesn't disapprove, he just doesn't want to be involved.

It is a VERY hard situation. I feel like, being bisexual, I always seem to be missing something in my life.

Tamara

CindyLou · 12-03-2003, 02:54 PM

Finally - someone with the same feelings I have!!!! I thought I was the only bi out there with feelings like there's something missing - yet I can't figure out what it is.

Do any more of us on this board feel this way?

CindyLou

Zebra · 12-04-2003, 02:07 AM

well you certainly hit it on the spot there... something is missing, but you can never quite figure out what it is.

I really love my DH and I could never fathom living without him, but there is that small special something, that only exists between women.
He is totally supportive, but somehow that makes it also hard. Love is not a game and feelings are not to be toyed with, whether it is DH's, GF or own...and to find two people that understand what bisexuality is like, and be supportive...

you know what I mean.

CindyLou · 12-04-2003, 04:35 AM

Well - I guess I know what you mean - I'm missing that special bond that women share with each other. Not parental, not sisterly, not necessarily even the bond lovers share. I think I'm missing a really good friendship with someone who gets what it's like to be closeted and not know which direction she's going in life. I'm enormously happy with my dh and I wouldn't trade him for any amount of Victoria's Secret models (not any amount!) - but a good friend I can chat with and give a hug to without them being weirded out - "Okay, was that like a gay hug, or are you just being nice" type of thing.

My problem is: women terrify me. Even if I wanted a girlfriend (wouldn't share her or my dh with each other - I'm such a selfish *****!) I wouldn't know how to meet a woman. My dh's friends tell me - just talk to them like you do a man. Okay - not going to work guys - when I'm with the guys I'm one of the guys. We talk about cars, "chicks", snowmobiling, target shooting etc. Other women that are around us gripe and want to leave right away - or talk me into crosstiching something with them. I'm not a girly girl - I don't want to be. But women I'm around try to fit me into that box - and sometimes I want so badly to fit in with them (just to be friends with them) that I try to fit myself into that box. It just doesn't work.

Sorry - way too long - I'm pmsing and it's late. But thanks Zebra for acknowledging my post - it really honestly means a lot to me. I feel so terribly alone sometimes.
I hope at least a little bit of this post makes sense.
CindyLou