Did anyone not tell family and friends?

coffeequeen · 04-25-2009, 09:00 PM

So far only my husband knows and he is all for it! He actually has been very encouraging.

I am just not sure that I want anyone else to know, I mean there will be questions asked like why I am I have surgery ect. I am not embarrassed I just don't think that they would get it or understand.

Did anyone white lie or just bite the bullet and tell everyone??

I white lied to my grandma and told her that I was having exploratory surgery. (she know about my history or pcos and cyst removals)
But I just could not come out and say LAP BAND!

Britlee · 04-25-2009, 11:42 PM

I didn't tell a lot of ppl at first. Not because of shame, but peoples perception that this is the easy way out. Now that I am 128 lbs lighter, I tell anyone who asks. If they say something rude about not believing it or thinking it was easy, I snap back. I am sorry. There is nothing easy about a WLS journey.

rosemarys_babee · 05-20-2009, 11:07 PM

I know this is a little late, but thought I'd post and wish you luck. I'm also having the band put in on 05/28/09 and I've only told a handful of people. Not because of any embarassment on my part. I just feel like this is an intensely personal thing and I don't want people constantly watching me or judging me. This is a time I'm going to need to be focused on me and making this succeed. I can't do that with people hovering and giving their unasked-for opinions. Do I plan to tell people eventually, yes. Now just isn't the right time.

MikesHAPPYwife · 05-21-2009, 06:22 PM

Best of luck to you soon to be banders!! If you have any questions feel free to pm me.

I decided not to everyone because I think there is a lack of knowledge when it comes to lapband. Everyone is so familiar with gastric bypass. With gastric bypass you will loose the weight regardless (how long it stays off is another topic), and I did not want people to think that my weight was coming off just because I had surgery.

With the lapband you have to do alot of work (same with gastric for long term results). In the beginning you have no restriction & slowly work to it, so you have to choose to stop eatting, when you do get restriction you have to decide to eat whats healthy for you, & of course, the band does not exercise for you.

The band is simply a tool. I love my tool. It lets me know that I have the help I need to not give up on my lifestyle change & days when I am weak I cant over do it quite as much as I did before, however, I changed my life. I want people to know that it was me.

So, when people say how are you loosing weight, your looking great? I simply reply "i am eatting less & exercising" this is the complete truth!! As time went on I ended up telling my inlaws & some family here/there but overall its a my secret.

With the lapband because you have a slower weightloss its easier to do that.

goddess819 · 05-22-2009, 04:35 PM

Telling someone you're having WLS is a personal decision. I'm very open and have been from the beginning about my WLS...but that's me. If you choose to not tell people then go for it. WLS is a personal thing and many people out there have the idea that it's the 'easy way out'...there's nothing easy about any of the procedures and I still have issues almost 5 years out. I'm not talking complications from surgery...but mental hunger...that's the tough one to beat.

Anyway good luck!!

Kristy

lockhartf · 05-23-2009, 09:04 AM

I'm thinking of having the surgery done and wish I hadn't told my mom, but I don't know how I could have hid it from her. She's on my butt about the surgery and how I'll have long term side effects from the surgery and how unsafe it is. So, if you aren't comfortable with people being all up in your business then I would wait before telling them. Once you've done the surgery then they can't say much.

ReJon2 · 06-12-2009, 02:21 PM

I'm in the process of approval and I'm not telling anyone except hubby and best friend. I have a friend who was very open about her surgery and people are ALWAYS asking how much weight she has lost, etc. I don't want to deal with that. They keep better track of her weight loss than she does! The doc did change my meds and that is what I'm telling everyone. Let them think that meds are actually working for me!

Kitten1 · 06-14-2009, 01:29 AM

If I were going to have surgery for that my mother would be the first to know. I can't imagine keeping her in the dark over something so major. I don't see why I would be embarrassed, people should see it as you are trying to get healthy. Not everyone can do this with exercise and diet alone.

harvey264 · 07-02-2009, 04:52 PM

I just had the surgery last tuesday. I had the RYN done and I couldn't imgagin not telling my family and friends. I had bad reactions at first, many people just didn't understand how being over weight effects you. I also had infection right after surgery and got phenomia. However, I am doing much better, I have already lost a few pounds being post one week. Im still scared of the future because let's face it, we love food or we wouldn't be over weight. I love hot wings, hamburgers, hotdogs and I just hope in the future I can eat those things in a small portion of course. I would tell your mom, and family because my family and friends got me through the whole process and still are helping me through it as I am healing. My mom helps me into the shower, and checks my wounds daily for me. She also rubbed my face when I was in the hospital none stop just to let me know she was there for me. I would say you don't have to go out and announce it to the world but your family should know to help you...

~*~TammyLynn~*~ · 07-02-2009, 05:53 PM

I toyed with not telling anyone. It was kinda hard to keep it as secret when I lost almost 100 pounds in 4 months though. I tell anyone that asks. I'm proud of myself and where I'm at almost 5 years post op. I kept it from my mom for a few months becuase the first time I mentioned it, she flipped out. She'd only heard the bad stories and none of the good results. I had my surgery scheduled for a few months before I told her. She was upset with me but now she's so glad I did it. She stayed on my butt about my liquids and eating and exercising. Haha. She made sure I ate every ounce I could. I'm glad I didn't keep it a secret. I've got a few friends who are much healthier now as well because I helped them with their research and gave my experience.

GinaII · 08-31-2009, 04:15 PM

When I confided in my youngest sister about wanting WLS she completely flipped out and I really whish I'd never said a word. However, my eldest sister was really supportive. I feel that she understands me on a whole different plane than anyone else. I certainly wouldn't tell my Mum or Dad. If I decide to go through with it, I will want my eldest sister by my side and that is all. My other sisters and my parents will know after, but never before.

I think that it is important for one person who you are close to and who understands to know, simply because if something does go wrong then they need to be aware of what is going on. You just need to chose that person very carefully.

snoozer · 09-24-2009, 08:05 AM

I don't advertise it but if someone ask I will share my story. I agree with most of th PPs, it isn't because of shame or anything, it is just a very personal matter. my family knew from the get go, though.

My DH isn't really into telling anyone about his WLS, but he is still new to it. On the other hand my MIL tells everyone she meets about her surgery! Ha ha. So it really is a personal choice.

BTW- we all have lapbands

RosieCheeks · 09-25-2009, 05:27 PM

I told my parents and close family and friends. I was in the hospital for 4 days after my RNY due to having a fever. It would of been really hard to hide that from my parents especially since my dad works in the same office as I do.

My told them because I needed the support from them.

disneydiva · 10-08-2009, 05:44 PM

I was just thinking about this today. Next week I go to my seminar and then on the 20th is my consult. I don't know who all I want to tell my hubby is very supportive and my Mom is too, she is just worried about the risks. Which I pointed out to her that the risks for my health if I don't are much worse.

Kayti3004 · 10-22-2009, 09:36 PM

I'm going to be 18 on November 3rd. I'm planning on starting my WLS journey. I'm a little afraid though. I don't want to tell anyone but one or two people (My family is like someone had previously stated, they've only heard the negatives) I feel that this is a tool that I need though. I stopped drinking pop for two years, and started eating less, and I kept gaining! I've known that I've had PCOS since I was 16. I want to be able to strive towards healthiness and actually live for once. Am I too young? Should I tell my family? Oh. And the wimp question I am forced to ask. Was anyone else afraid?