Did you share the news or keep quiet?

AmandaMqn · 04-21-2008, 10:33 AM

When DH and I found out last week about me having PCOS, my first reaction was to not tell anyone. We have since told my parents, siblings and my best friend but now I'm starting to feel like I should share the diagnosis. DH and I both come from large, close-knit families and the support would be nice but I'm scared to think they might not react in the best way.

Did you share the news or keep quiet?

PBLayzod · 04-21-2008, 11:53 AM

I was very open about both PCOS and ferility problems. I notice many of my syptoms in aunts and cousins, but I'm the only one with a diagnosis. I couldn't keep quiet about it.

cherri_blossom_faerie · 04-21-2008, 11:59 AM

I was also very open about having PCOS. It made life alot easier for me especially while we were TTC everyone that is close to me know the problems I faced so I didn't get alot of stupid comments about why I wasn't pregnant yet.

hellofromangie · 04-21-2008, 12:56 PM

I keep it to myself mostly. When I did try and and share that I have PCOS the person I told just didn't get it, so I decided to just talk to others who have PCOS and understand.

jnswd · 04-21-2008, 02:47 PM

That's an interesting question...I haven't told anyone yet. I am a private person and honestly haven't even given my husband the full scoop yet. We have children so fertility isn't a major issue- it is more just my health that is a concern at this point.

sarah jane parr · 04-21-2008, 04:57 PM

Hello

I was very open about it from the start, i had to with my dh because i was diagnosed three weeks before our wedding!!! Dh and all of my family have been very supportive throughout the whole ordeal. I feel very lucky.

JennyKC · 04-21-2008, 05:02 PM

I've told everyone...cuz they all know when my cycles are (or aren't) by this point. It was nice to tell them I had something to take action on (we are TTC).

Everyone was good except my aunt who said "oh, but you use to be skinny, so your weight can't be cause of that. You just aren't checking your discharge correctly...what you need to do is...." I couldn't beleive it! I said "Oh you are right! You live 10 states away, have no medical training, but probably know better than an OBGYN why I have issues." I'm really not sure how she thought checking my discharge would cause periods to happen regularly, but whatever.

lovelyinkedlady · 04-21-2008, 05:44 PM

I told my family. Which has helped my cousins wife who was DX'd with it when she was 16. I've resently found out that a cousin has it as well.

You can't always tell how someone will react. I still get strange reactios from people.

I would however suggest there is a sticky for a pamplet for pcos for family members, and close friends. I'd suggest haveing that to explain to them what is going on.

I would also make very clear that you dont want to be bothered by everyone asking when your gonna have kids. My cousin in law who has it has gotten that kind of thing from her extended family members on her parents side. ( more mom's side then anything)

BeeBee · 04-21-2008, 06:15 PM

I'll admit, I've been reading several posts over the last few weeks, but this is my first post. I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago when I went to a fertility dr. she took one look at my blood work, asked me a few questions and handed over the diagnosis. I always suspected I had it, but wasn't sure, so it doesn't come as any huge shock. Unfortunately, my parents are quite judgemental and I haven't' told them anything. I don't want to hear their comments, but it's frustrating because they always ask if I'm pregnant. I'm torn between just keeping it a secret or telling them and hoping they loosen up and are a bit more sensitive. I've told a few trusted friends and I would like to feel comfortable enough to be one of those people who openly talk about their problems. I just don't ever want to come across as using this diag. as a crutch or seem like I'm soliciting sympathy. If anything, I just want a little respect!! People who don't have fertility problems don't understand the emotional stress of infertility. It's sad. So, I just want to say thank you to everyone for sharing on here. I have found comfort in your comments.

PBLayzod · 04-22-2008, 10:17 AM

Instead of telling your parents you have PCOS, could you just tell them that you have a hormone imbalance that is making it difficult for you to conceive? Sometimes less info is better for certain people.

J-Ro · 04-22-2008, 12:37 PM

When I was diagnosed, I had never heard of PCOS. I told my friends and family, mostly because I was curious if anyone else had heard of it. They hadn't, so I felt very alone at first. As a few others had mentioned, I felt it was important to tell my parents and in-laws because they kept asking when they would be grandparents. They have been very supportive, though.

LilBitMagoo · 04-22-2008, 12:55 PM

I had no choice in the matter of telling my fiance since he was in the room when I got dx. I told my family about it and one of my cousins has PCOS. My family has been supportive.

Novgirl · 04-22-2008, 01:06 PM

I was dx when I was 17 so at the time, I didn't really think about TTC... I did tell my folks then but they saw it as 'period problems' in their teenage girl and nothing more.

Now that 10 years have gone by, there hasn't been much talk of it. I didn't tell them step by step what was happening all those years (w/ the s/es getting worse & weight gain)... they assumed that I was overweight b/c I ate too much and was lazy... (thanks!)...

Now that I'm married they are curious about when I'll be TTC... I've been avoiding the convos for now. I have touched on the fact that I'm trying out new meds for my 'hormone issues' but that's as far as it went.

Even now though, they brush it off and say 'oh it'll happen' or 'there's nothing wrong with you'... also, I now eat well and work out regularily (and I'm still overwieght) and they can't get their heads around that either so.... what can you do.

I have told a few friends who are understanding and supportive but it's very limited.

I find I'm embarassed. I feel that people will immediately blame me and my weight. Plus I don't want the added pressure of everyone waiting and anticipating.

If I get pg, THEN I'll tell them. If I don't get pg (once I've tried every route) THEN I'll tell them why I can't.

amandah · 04-22-2008, 03:08 PM

I told my family and close friends. They all knew I was having problems so it was nice to have a reason for it. Most people were good about it, of course some couldn't understand ti no matter how i explained it to them so i gave up.

MarianneUnfaithfull · 04-22-2008, 04:26 PM

I talk openly about mine... rather a lot. Infact, my friends are probably tired of hearing about it!! But it always helps to spread the word, I think.

One of my 'friends' (can't stand the girl actually, but she's in my group of friends) so obviously has it, but she just turns up her nose when I talk about mine. Sigh. She's the type who'd never admit to herself, or anyone else, that maybe she should go and get tested.