Disabling signatures on this board, Please vote!

[*~SugarPlums~*]

Hi Ladies, I posted a thread to Kat about possibly disabling (automatically) signatures on the 'Coping with Pregnancy Loss' board and she asked for a poll.
This is not about disabling them throughout SoulCysters, but just on this board. I love many of the siggy's on SC but I am concerned that those who may have suffered a recent loss might become upset. I will use myself as an example:

I have come to terms with the loss of all my pregnancies but especially with the loss of my twins almost 6 years ago. At that time, however, I would have found it very difficult to see pregnancy tickers, especially multiple baby pregnancy tickers and siggies that contained info on multiple losses, like the one I have now.

I often post words of comfort and support to those who have experienced a loss and I don't always think to disable on my siggy when I do so. As I approach the anniversary to the birth/death day of my twins, *I* feel that some of the signatures are hard to view. I often wonder if those cysters who have had recent losses on this board might feel even more sad and upset after seeing a pregnancy ticker or the amounts of losses some of us have had as those early days can be so raw for them.

This question is for to everyone, but specifically those who have suffered losses or almost had a loss, especially cysters whose loss/s are more recent.

Remember, this would only be on this board, not throughout SoulCysters.

[heidi 1973]

Hi Sandra - I think that we should leave the signatures on because people can learn a lot from the information that is contained in our signatures. I totally understand the idea of trying to protect people during difficult times...trust me. But there may be information that we can share to help prevent another loss.

[*~SugarPlums~*]

Just wanted to make sure everyone understands that this would only be on the 'Coping with pregnancy loss' board.

[RunnerDuck]

I'm kinda on the fence. Sometimes I turn it off, sometimes I don't. Not because I ever really think it's 100% appropriate or 100% inappropriate but because I don't really know.

I am inclined to say don't turn them off... because while the pregnancy tickers etc might rub a little salt in the wound... SO many sigs also mention loss in some way (most people posting on the loss board here seem to have had a loss it seems and mention it in their sig) and that adds as much if not more to a post as a pregnancy ticket takes away, if that makes sense. While it can be scary to read of loss after loss after loss, or of especially horrifying losses, it's also good to know that others have truly been in your shoes. "I understand" has more meaning coming from someone who has been there because be honest you may THINK you understand loss if you haven't been there but really, you don't. So I think it's helpful and comforting to know what others have been through, good and bad, and a lot of sigs mention good and bad. Mine sure does.

[*~SugarPlums~*]

I edited the op just to try and make it easier to understand. My own siggy has my mc's listed, not in great detail, but still there. I was just thinking of the ladies who have had more recent losses.

[lovepotato]

I always turn mine off on this board, unless I really think that it will help the person who originally posted. If I accidentally leave it on, I edit my post and take it off.
I think it would be good to turn them off, because I know a lot of people don't think to, and it really hurts when you see a preggo ticker from someone from your month if they come to tell you they're sorry. And people give tons of advice without having to look at their tickers.

I thought it was common courtesy to turn off the tickers unless you thought it would add to your post in this board. But on the other hand, a lot of people just glance over loss tickers, and if you don't have pregnancies/living children listed in your siggy, no one will really notice. And I might not have seen a siggy like Phoenix Rising's quote, which was so inspiring after I lost Eric. So I really don't know which way to go, lol.

Edited: See, I forgot to turn it off! Lol!

[NerdyGirl]

As someone who had a m/c about a week ago, I can say that I personally don't mind (and in fact, enjoy seeing) the pregnancy tickers and other siggy info. I love knowing that someday I too will have a pg ticker that goes past the first trimester. Especially when siggys contain m/c info, seeing a new happy pg is inspiring and fills me with hope on those days when I feel empty.

Of course, I respect that some women may feel differently and would never want to offend anyone who is grieving. We are all so unique, it's hard to know what will be hurtful. Maybe the option to not view siggys (on any board) would be more useful. Then those of us that enjoy seeing our cysters progress through pg can keep updated and those who prefer not to see them can feel peace too. Just an idea

[*~SugarPlums~*]

Maybe that would be an option for Kat to look into an do. I love seeing all the different siggy's and info, I was just thinking that some may not. Thanks for your honest response!

[Fleegle4]

I always turn my signature ticker off when I'm posting on this board because I don't want to upset anyone unnecessarily. I forgot once and went back to turn it off in edit mode. However, I'm not sure I'd make it automatic. I personally didn't have any problems seeing other people's tickers after my loss, and the reality I had to face is this. Pregnancy will still exist whether I'm upset or not. One of the coping skills I had to learn after a loss was how to deal with the fact that other people's lives go on and many people had the joy that I had just lost and I was going to have to face them. I've never seen anyone posting on this board who was gloating or obnoxious about their pregnancy, and if they're reading this forum, they've usually been through a loss themselves. I did take a break from the site in general for a few weeks after my m/c -- I found I needed to be away from all health things, not just pregnancy or babies, and spent more time on places like Television Without Pity in order to give my brain a break.

I'm still glad to see other people happy with their pregnancies and children -- one of the most difficult parts of the m/c for me was that never again would I be able to just have fun with being pregnant. I'm 34 1/2 weeks now, and I had real angst about cutting the tag off of some baby clothes today to wash them, as I still completely believe that I will have to return them unused, and don't want to jinx anything. If my mother hadn't forced me, I still wouldn't have opened the box the bassinet came in, or the car seat, or had a baby shower.

[kwannabee]

As someone who has often forgot to turn off my siggy...i would appreciate an option to turn it off in an as needed basis...but not automatic. I totally struggle with the question whether to share my complete story to those just recently going through a loss, or on the other hand, taking out one of the biggest chapters of my struggle...either way im at the risk of making them or myself uncomfortable. We all share the pain of losing our babies, and although i dont want to hurt anyone unecessarily i look back and without a shadow of a doubt the more words i got from my cysters in those dark times the more they helped me...even the ones who's siggies said - hey...i had a baby and i survived...cuz there were times i emotionally didnt that i 'd ever feel like that


i remember very well coming on here after losing my girls and seeing posts of others who had gone on to get pregnant again...and it gave me hope that maybe there was a chance for me. I never got upset or minded reading other peoples journey...and it often gave me hope.

i was actually thinking of this the other day because my girls birthday is coming up.
i myself personally feel that by neglecting to celebrate the birth of my Logan, even here...who would not be here if i hadnt lost my aimee and dana...i am somehow not being fair. My angels and living babies are inexplecibly entwined...i cannot seperate them.

sighhhhhh....this is a tough one I will go with whatever is decided...i can definately see both sides buts its hard for me to pick one way or another

[*~SugarPlums~*]

I think being able to disable your siggy in a particular forum is a great idea so hopefully that will be something Kat can do. Thanks for that.

[Fleegle4]

Sandra --

You can turn off your signature on any post you want to now. Look at the bottom of the Quick Reply screen. You'll see a section called "options" -- the second one is "show your signature". Make sure the check box is empty (remove the check) and post.

[*~SugarPlums~*]

I know that I can do that, sometimes I forget to do it. That is why I thought maybe automatically would be good.

I don't want to turn off my siggy in all threads, but if I had the option to turn off my siggy (not in individual posts) on a specific board, that would be a plus. Then I wouldn't forget.

[KatCarney]

Originally Posted by NerdyGirl

Maybe the option to not view siggys (on any board) would be more useful.

Originally Posted by *~SugarPlums~*

Maybe that would be an option for Kat to look into an do.

The option to turn off all sigs already exists in members User CP.

There is no option to allow members to turn off sigs in selected forums.

The only options are:

- leave things the way they are

- turn off sigs (at admin level) for everyone in this forum

[hela]

When i lost my girls it gave me hope to see peoples signatures, whether it be that they to had suffered a loss, were pregnant, trying, whatever.

To me it showed that life goes on around me even when bad things happen