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Old 09-15-2009, 04:48 PM   #16 (permalink)
Praying for a Miracle!
 
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I feel your pain ladies! I too am wondering how much longer I can keep this up. Last year dh and I decided to move on to IVF and for us that was supposed to be our closure. If we got pg awesome! If not, we were done. We'd not prevent but no more RE and treatments and meds etc. We agreed on 1 cycle. We didn't expect to get cancelled halfway through stims. I felt cheated that I didn't even get my 1 shot! So I convinced dh to try a 2nd attempt at IVF. Unfortunately we ended up making 3 attempts in total, all cancelled halfway through stims.
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We have leftover meds so we've decided to use them up on IUI's (much cheaper!). We aren't sure why I wasn't responding to the meds so I'm scheduled to have a laparoscopy/ovarian drilling done at the end of this month before we continue to cycle. I can't believe it's been a year since we made our first IVF attempt and we're no farther ahead. I have a daughter who is 12 from a previous relationship. And even though my dh loves her and considers his own (he's been in her life since she was 5) he would really like to experience the whole thing. I've always wanted a big family (I've accepted that's not going to ever happen) and my daughter wants a sibling, regardless of the huge age gap! I try to picture our life with just her and I too *think* I can accept it. I've also put some things on hold while waiting for the next baby (job, home renovations, travel etc). When is enough enough right?! I know we have an end in sight, not sure of a date, only that it will be when the meds run out. But how will I react when that time comes if no bfp... I'm just not sure. It's such a tough journey and I can only pray that we all get our happy endings. Thank you for starting this conversation, I've often wondered if I'm the only one that feels this way.
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TTC since June 2004 w/ PCOS & MFI

Currently on a break to do further testing and get healthier


Countless cycles with Clomid or Soy with TI all BFN
2 IUI's BFN
2 IUI's cancelled due to no response
3 IVF's cancelled due to no response

Lap/Ovarian Drilling Sept. 28/09
Nov/09 cycle in progress...
Clomid/Femara/Follistim combo with IUI

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Old 09-15-2009, 06:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Jessie - That's funny that you got your BFP after finishing decorating the room for an alternate use! I'm hoping that will work for us!

We moved into this house a year ago, it is a split level layout, we have the master and the smallest bedroom upstairs (this was to be the nursery) and then 2 medium sized bedrooms downstairs. So of course we put the 2 kids down there. I thought that they would love it being 12 and 9, maybe they'd like the independence, they have their own hangout room down there, it really works out well. The 12 year old loves it, the 9 year old not so much. After spending the last year of him shuffling between sleeping with my 12 year old, and on our bedroom floor, we finally decided to let him move into the future nursery. So far he just has a mattress in there to test the waters, but it's been going well so far (3 nights). I didn't want to do it because i didn't want to have to deal with making him move back once we have a baby......but I finally decided that it wasn't worth suffering now just to save this bedroom for a baby who doesn't exist. So i guess that's step 1.
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Mom to Chloe (12) and Stephen (9)

Oct 2008 - Feb 2009 - 3 rounds of clomid; 2 rounds of soy; All Ovulatory; All BFN
Mar - Apr 2009 - 2 rounds of follistim 100ius + IUIs; BFN
May - Jul 2009 - Cysts, Natural Cycles, BCPs
Aug - Sep 2009 - 2 rounds of Follistim 100ius + IUIs; BFN
Sep - Oct 2009 - cancelled/wierdness
Nov 2009 - 150ius follistim + IUI

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Old 09-15-2009, 07:18 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Hang in there! I know exactly what you mean. We have been TTC with medical intervention for over a year, and I've never once had a BFP.

I know when you get to the point of the giving up thoughts. I am right there with you - at the what in the world is the best decision point.

I hope your decision comes to you and you feel 100% content with it.

Best wishes to you!
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TTC #1 since Aug. 08 / Diagnosed PCOS June 08
Diagnosed Hypothyroid/Hashimotos - May/June 09

Our TTC Journey is over. Pursuing adoption.

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Old 09-15-2009, 07:23 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Yes fact is that is exactly what I did and concentrated on making me happy and healthy. That was in April. I started exercising 6 days a week and watching what and how I ate. I stopped the metformin cuz I was sick of feeling sick. I lost 65#'s so far and found out August 21 that I was pregnant, just to have the heartbreak of having an ectopic (due to previous surgery) I am technically still pregnant though my #'s are finally starting to decrease after 3 weeks. I was told the ONLY way I would EVER get pregnant was via IUI's and more likely IVF. Shows what they know huh?

Good luck, I have been there. I am trying not to go back there but now that I got pg on my own all I can think about is trying again. But I do not want my whole life to revolove around fertility crap.
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Old 10-09-2009, 02:54 PM   #20 (permalink)
Wishing On A Miracle
 
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i feel like giving up everytime i get a big fat negative
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but i shall have hope & i believe miracles do happen so there for i shall not give up
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& i believe one day we shall get that big fat posative we have all hoped for
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i wish all you lovely ladies good luck & lots of baby dust
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Old 10-09-2009, 03:08 PM   #21 (permalink)
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This past May was 5 years TTC, June was a year with medical intervention. We have no children and had one miscarriage. We have "wasted" so many opportunities because we always thought, "well, that won't work out if this cycle is a success and we get pregnant" and after all these years, sometimes I just want to scream.

I dreamt the other night that we were that old couple who never had children and who the world assumes we didn't ever want kids...we were travelling around the country in a camp trailer visitng all out nieces and nephews. We had pets for children. I woke up crying.

It's hard for me (and I am sure a lot of you) to accept that at times there is simply nothing else for us to do but wait and hope or pray. For type A personalities like me that can be hard to do lol!!

Now in the latest saga of the insurance world, we have hit our "lifetime maximum" in fertility drug coverage for non-ivf cycles. Fine, but I can not afford IVF right now, even if I were ready for that. ugh. what's a girl to do? Anyway, sorry for the long rantish post, but I just really wanted to say : I feel you!
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5.15.04

ttc #1 for 5+ years

Clomid/Dex/Met/Levo/HCG Trigger/Prog shots/Estrace
Follistim/ low dose aspirin

First IUI 3/13/09 - BFP 3/26 miscarriage at 6wks
2nd IUI 6/23 - BFN
3rd IUI 7/28 - BFN
Unmonitored cycle w/leftover meds 10/2009
Meds break - ran out of insurance money!
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Old 10-09-2009, 03:18 PM   #22 (permalink)
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For those without children, have you considered adoption? There is no reason that all of us shouldn't be mothers!

MrsK0515- If Clomid worked for you have you thought about trying soy?
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Dx PCOS-'96;Hypothyrodism 7/09
10/09-Clomid1 50mg(3-7), O CD15, P4 6DPO-8.41, BFN
11/09-Clomid2 100mg(3-7), O CD23? Cancelled Ovidrel,IUI

Meds: Met 2k mg, Lev 88MCG, prenatal. >O, baby asprin & Omega 3

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Old 10-09-2009, 03:19 PM   #23 (permalink)
Someday soon...
 
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Quote:
...I didn't have WLS, but I did lose close to 40 lbs over the past few years. I was completely determined to get in the best shape possible, and in June I was at the lower level of a my healthy weight range & felt great.... Anyway, my point is that once I really focused on me being healthy the bfp happened. I think we all need to find other things to focus on, for me it was being in great shape, because TTC easily takes over our lives. I didn't want to live that way....
Your post has totally motivated me to exercise and lose weight again. I lost 30 pounds at the beginning of the year, but then got too proud and stopped. I need this for myself, not just for TTC, not just PCOS, but for every other facet of my life. Thank you for your post. I am starting right now!!!!!!
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PCOS & Hypothyroidism, no B/C since '05
Meds: Metformin, Levothyroxine, Prenatals
Oct/Nov: Clomid 50 mg + Preseed=BFN
Nov/Dec: Clomid 50 mg + Preseed, HSG and S/A= in progress

*~*~*TTC our 1st Little Kanoodle*~*~*

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Old 10-09-2009, 04:12 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
For those without children, have you considered adoption? There is no reason that all of us shouldn't be mothers!

MrsK0515- If Clomid worked for you have you thought about trying soy?

We are open to adoption, and have started researching, but I know in my heart I am just not there yet. I want to keep trying a while longer, mainly because I feel like at 27 I still have some time.

I am interested in soy, but it confuses me to the point where I am not sure what/how/how often to do it...
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5.15.04

ttc #1 for 5+ years

Clomid/Dex/Met/Levo/HCG Trigger/Prog shots/Estrace
Follistim/ low dose aspirin

First IUI 3/13/09 - BFP 3/26 miscarriage at 6wks
2nd IUI 6/23 - BFN
3rd IUI 7/28 - BFN
Unmonitored cycle w/leftover meds 10/2009
Meds break - ran out of insurance money!
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Old 10-09-2009, 05:02 PM   #25 (permalink)
Waiting for Baby #1
 
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I feel like quitting every time I get a BFN. I try to stay positive until the day comes that I need to test. I tell myself every time that this is going to be the last time, but then I'm planning on the next cycle after about 2 hours of crying. I tell myself that we haven't done injectables yet...so that might work for us. It's tough, but this makes me stronger every time once I get over the disappointment.
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Old 10-09-2009, 05:17 PM   #26 (permalink)
Waiting for my pumpkin
 
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Soy is actually very easy! You take it on the same CD days as you did with Clomid, but you double the amount. So if 50mg on CD3-7 worked for you with Clomid you would use 100mg of Soy on CD3-7.GL

Here is a thread that goes into the details.

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Kari (33), DH (31); TTC#1 3/09
Dx PCOS-'96;Hypothyrodism 7/09
10/09-Clomid1 50mg(3-7), O CD15, P4 6DPO-8.41, BFN
11/09-Clomid2 100mg(3-7), O CD23? Cancelled Ovidrel,IUI

Meds: Met 2k mg, Lev 88MCG, prenatal. >O, baby asprin & Omega 3

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