Do you ever feel RESENTFUL about not knowing sooner?

mandy71480 · 06-20-2005, 04:51 PM

Looking back I realize my PCOS symptoms started when puberty hit.... but I didn't get diagnosed until I was 22! TEN YEARS and no one did anything!! My parents didn't question my weight gain or my excessive acne- and when I quit having a period at age 16 the military Dr's (my dad is retired air force) just pumped me full of birth control pills and sent me on my way. I had ALL the signs of PCOS back then and they did NOTHING. WHY WHY WHY??? I am so resentful to these ignorant, incompetent dr's for not DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!

Do any of you feel the same way?? I was JUST A KID! Why didn't someone CARE a little more about my health than that???

Well at least now that I know and I am an adult, I have no excuse for not taking control of my PCOS now. I'm just so glad to KNOW now.

Rozlynn · 06-20-2005, 04:56 PM

AMEN CYSTER!

I am resentful for the fact that I am fat and have extra skin hangin everywhere because All of this could have been avoided if just ONE doctor believed me or my mom. The hair growth and loss, my acne and all the other things with PCOS could have been helped a little sooner. "She's too young to have ovarian cancer...She's too young to have hormonal issues...AND THE LIST GOES ON"
I too have had this since puberty and newly dx this may I have dealt with this for over 12 years and being told I was crazy. One doc actually walked me to the Phyc ward of the hospital. *sigh*

DOCTORS

Aprile78 · 06-20-2005, 05:04 PM

I think a lot of it gets passed off as puberty (acne, weight gain, weird hormone spurts, odd periods.....)

When I was a senior in high school, I had bloodwork, and my cholesterol was already borderline. It does tick me off that they didn't think that was a flag, and just told me to watch what I ate (giving me no diet plan) just passing it off as me eating poorly.........

In three months on Met, my friggin' cholesterol went from borderline to normal. It sure would have been nice to know then. Jerks!

no, I harbor no ill feelings

Molanna · 06-20-2005, 05:30 PM

My symptoms hid behind the BCP I was on for 15 years--no doctor even suggested I should take a break from it. And if I weren't TTC, I'd STILL not know! If I had known, I'd have begun TTC some time ago, too. Errrr.

jnalowd · 06-20-2005, 05:31 PM

I agree completely! I never would have known if I was not ttc. And so many doctors told me I was fine. More doctors need to be educated about this syndrome.

sinclair319 · 06-20-2005, 05:32 PM

Me too--I had really irregular periods in HS (like 3 times a year) and they just put me on bcp to "train" my body. The other thing that ticks me off is now that we're TTC and diagnosed, my insurance is still making us try for a year before we get any infertility help. I've ovulated once in 11 months--thank goodness July is right around the corner!

asrai · 06-20-2005, 05:45 PM

I was resentful for a long time, both of doctors and my mother. I would tell my doctor what I was eating, he'd look at me, call me a liar, and my mom would say NOTHING. Finally, after ditching the "it's all cause you're fat" doctor, and finally getting a diagnoses, the doctor who diagnosed me basically said "you'll be diabetic by 30 and never have kids" and put me on 100mg of Spiro, which make me sick as hell. I went into a bit of denial at that point, threw away the Spiro, and avoided doctors for years.

Oh, and he never bothered to tell me that my birth control pills (I went on them at 18, and was diagnosed shortly after) had ANYTHING to do with PCOS, so I thought nothing about going off of them. I figured that surely by age 19 my periods would have regulated, and when they stayed regulated for about 6 months after, I thought that was the case. And then all hell broke loose. 100 pounds in 3 weeks, extreme fatigue, brain fog, depression, etc. I lost my job and spent 3 years very, very ill.

I do wish my mom had let doctor #1 put me on the pill, anyway. That was his only suggestion the whole time, was around the time I was 15 (4 or so years after I started), when my periods hadn't regulated (because, according to him, I was fat), he suggested birth control, but she was totally against it. Nevermind that I could've gotten cancer from not having periods but once or twice a year, but whatever. It would've made my teen years a little less hellish, even if I'd have had the hell at going off of them eventually anyway.

Anyway, when I finally started researching PCOS on my own, and found out that it could've all been SO easy, if at ANY stage anyone had been competent, I spent a few months really pissed off. I think it's normal. You know the 5 stages of grief were originally "the five stages of receiving catastrophic news"? I think a PCOS diagnoses qualifies, at least to some degree. I know I've been through at least 4 of them, a couple times now! Even when I finally started dealing with the fact that I have this, I never really started dealing with the infertility part of that until recently.

So, yeah, I think it's normal. Just don't let it eat you up for too long. There are more important and fun things to do with that emotional energy!

(Though it might be a good to put that anger into getting better. Kickboxing, anyone?

)

asrai · 06-20-2005, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sinclair319

The other thing that ticks me off is now that we're TTC and diagnosed, my insurance is still making us try for a year before we get any infertility help. I've ovulated once in 11 months--thank goodness July is right around the corner!

I HATE that. We TTC'd for four years, and finally I decided I was sick of being sick and went back on the pill, and now we're going to have to wait a year after I go back off them! It makes NO sense to do that to people who obviously have conditions related to infertility.

JustSoMe · 06-20-2005, 06:04 PM

Oh yeah definitly...i'm mad at the dr for not see what was wrong the 1st time i went to him...he of course said your grow changing if your period doesn't regulate by the time your 18-19 then well talk...so i let it go on that i'm 20 and have never had regular periods ever...I've gained lots of weight all at once it seems.....mostly I can't believe I didn't do something when I first realized somethuing was up I should have trusted my instincts to persue my problems further but I didn't so now life has hit me in the face hard 2005 has been a bad year!

mandy71480 · 06-20-2005, 06:29 PM

Thanks for sharing your stories, gals! It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one who feels this way from time to time. I guess I'll get over it in due time- I just hate resenting my parents for not trying a little bit harder- but I guess they had a lot going on then, too- all of my older sisters were getting married and mom worked all the time and so did dad. I basically raised myself. Sheesh. *end pity party*

dellwood · 06-20-2005, 06:31 PM

I do try not to get mad at the way things have turned out, but it's really hard sometimes. I had lots of the symptoms, acanthosis nigrans, skin tags, precocious facial hair, all from the age of 11 when I had my first period. All through my teens, things got worse and the doctor just kept telling me it was "one of those things." Diagnosed at 22, told it wasn't really a problem, as I had conceived without any problems, to watch my weight and find a good depilatory cream. Diagnosed again at 36, told the same thing. Diagnosed again at 48, told that it was probably what had caused my hyperinsulinaemia, hypertension, fibroids, obesity and bouts of depression for the last 37 years! Bitter, moi?

So, I find myself here, but the really good thing is finding this site and all the wonderful people here who truly understand what it means to have PCOS and who help and support me through my bad days! I think we all need one of these.

mandy71480 · 06-20-2005, 06:35 PM

Quote:

but the really good thing is finding this site and all the wonderful people here who truly understand what it means to have PCOS and who help and support me through my bad days! I think we all need one of these

AMEN TO THAT!! I would still be sitting on my duff not taking my health into my own hands if not for this wonderful site!!

lovelyinkedlady · 06-20-2005, 06:36 PM

I'm seriuosly resentful of my mom. I never felt able to go to her with the issue of missing periods, especially sence when she heard through the grape vine that i wasn't a virgin anymore she tore me apart.

She belittled me constantly, never said hey something is up i'mnot buying you anymore tampons is there something going on if so i really need to know.

And now she's even worse even though she knows i have pcos. She still makes her comments and still does crappy things. Guess they never learn how to stop.

I do have to ad she also scrubbed my neck constantly. Always chalked it up to an allergic reaction to my chains For those of us with AN i found something called green soap there is a thread i posted about finding soap to help get ride of it. This is a medical soap and it works wonderfully to help with the AN.

http://www.soulcysters.net/showthread.php?t=128458 there is the link

Rebecca527 · 06-20-2005, 06:46 PM

I don't know if 'resentful' is the right word for how I feel about it all. I think sad is more appropriate for me. I can't resent my Mom for anything...she was great with me while I was going through my teen years of weight gain, depression, missing periods. She took me to countless doctors, weight loss programs, etc. The people I resent are the doctors that were so uneducated about this syndrome. I mean it's been around for longer than I've been alive I think, so wouldn't it seem that someone somewhere would have heard of it and looked at all my symptoms and put 2 and 2 together and gotten PCOS!!!??? I am sad about all the stuff I had to go through because it never got detected. Depression, hospitalization for depression, high blood pressure, all the grief I was put through as a heavy child and teen (and adult!), my hair loss, everything. The one person I have to thank is the woman who I credit for saving my life. My Aunt Lisa. She's a nurse, and has PCOS (as almost all the women on my father's side of the family do) and the minute she got diagnosed, she forwarded all the information she could find about it to me. I was in denial about it for a while, but now that I'm TTC, I can't be anymore. This crap affects so much more than our bodies and reproductive health, it affects our emotions, state of mind and general well-being. I too am glad that I have a community of wonderful women on this site to share our trials and tribulations with and support each other through anything!

dragnfy · 06-20-2005, 07:26 PM

Although I tell myself I probably wouldn't have know alot sooner which makes it a bit easier on myself....

I have to pray EVERYDAY not to keep anger toward my mother built up! I NEVER STARTED my period, & until I realized alot of my other problems were s/e of PCOS I was very depressed & thought I was NO COUNT because of how she blamed me for my problems & how she CHOSE to deal (or not) with them... (She made me feel like I wasn't a good person... Of corse I would be extra depressed & mood swingy... NONE of my hormones worked or were absent)

My mom sure obsessed about my weight... By *****ing @ me & making me feel like I shouldn't eat, I got where I'd HIDE to eat & that had followed me into adulthood. If I like something we're having NOW, I catch myself asking DH if he'll "be mad" if I eat more of it... She always said 'I don't know what happened to your hair, It USED TO be so thick & BEAUTIFUL... That's just the one that hurt me the most... 80% of her gripes were things outta my control, but hell a CHILD dosn't know that... (I'm healing now, Now that I know SHE is the one with the problems)

I am so hurt by the fact she NEVER took me to the DR (or talked to me for that matter) about not "getting AF"... I did have an older sister who was "regular" 12 years older than me so she wasn't there by the time I hit puberty.

I think maybe some of my s/e wouldn't have shown up, or would have been less if she paid enough attention to notice what was or wasn't happening & tryed to get me som e help.

I tried to just let it go... It takes years sometimes to get a diagnosis even if your doing all you can, but here's the clincher...

I can't get PG (YET) My Mom refuses to talk to or share this heart breaking experience @ all with me (nothing is her fault- EVER & I guess she thinks if she ignores this LIKE EVERYTHING the problem will disapear) (Isn't insanity when you do the same thing over & over expecting diff results?... Anyway)

So I finally after 4 years & too many DRs to remember I get the dx. *I knew I needed*... I was so sad b/c I truely believe I'd be ALOT futher along on this journey had we been treating this from puberty...

So there I sat, Married 3+ years, wanting Babies so bad I could SMELL the baby lotion, & I mustered the courage to ask her WHY... I needed a shoulder, I don't KNOW I CAn have babies yet... Not far along enough to know I can't... Need some support... soft place to fall, ya know... So I asked, "Mom, why didn't you ever take me to the DR to find out what was going on with me, & why I never got my period?" & the Relationship killer response was "Well, you were screwing your BF, you were in high school, & I figured... No period, no baby!!" I just said "We'll you were right, no period, no baby...! The problem is I've been married over 3 years now... Did you think once about my health or future?" She just said "I'm NOT gonna do this with you!" I walked out the room....

I know I rambeled on, but I've been holding this in... I'm crying just thinking of it again.. I just thought maybe one of you guys could understand what a SLAP in MY FACE that was & that I'm not "wearing my feeling on my sleve about it like she thinks"...

So YES, mandy71480, VERY resentful, lol...