let me start out with a lil background.. i am young (only 20), took a year off from college to move, am living with my parents, while we're not "well off" i dont really have to worry about anything financially..
lately.. i've been SO stressed. on a scale of 1-10, i am at about 1billion. i am not sure if "stressed" is even the right word.. i've just been feeling really wound up and anxious (i am not even sure if THOSE are the right words) and at an exploding point. i snap at everyone for no reason, and feel horrible for doing it.
and its not like i have anything to feel stressed or worried about. till school starts back up again, i am pretty much living the lazy life of a cat.. sleep, eat, watch tv..
but i just feel like i cant calm down inside, if that makes sense.. sometimes i feel like i have a raging river of molten hatred inside of me and i just wanna go "ARRRRGH!" at everyone.
and thats not really who i am. i just feel really mean and yell-y. almost rage-y.
i guess after putting it in words, i just wanna know i am not going psycho or anything...
dreamer~ I do not really have any info for you on this. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have been an evil B***H for the past few weeks. I do not know wh either. I have no patience with anyone including~it is horrible to say~ my 11 year old. It seems like latey he just does anything to set me off. Thank God for my mother I just send him over there when I get like this as I know it is not his fault and I do not want to take it out on him, but I too feel as if I am going psycho!!!! I come unglued at everyone- for no reason at all. My mother called me up and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and I screamed at her "Do I look like I want to go anywhere?" I felt so bad, but I just feel like ripping someone's head off most days. So anyway, sorry this is so long, I just wanted you to know your weren't crazy and there is someone else out there who is feeling the same!! Take care, Niki
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Just a little suggestion - perhaps the reason behind you feeling frustrated is that you have 'nothing to do' - you are waiting for school to start up again but dyring this 'year off' have not redally done anything or achieved anything. I am not blaming you for this - we always think that doing absolutely nothing is the best thing for us but sitting indoors doing nowt deffinately does my head in!
Maybe you could get yourself a small part time job (I know you said you ok financially etc but it can be fun and very good experience) or join a gym/club....get out and about and find a way of releiving yourself of the frustrations - try kick boxing or Judo?
If this fails (or I have misinterpreted and you are already 'active') maybe you could go and speak with your doctor regarding what is happening - you could be depressed or anxious and the reasons why need to be found.
I hope this helps a litte - if you wannt chat at all pm me
wow...just go read my post on this board called "I already posted this once..." or something like that and you'll see that i have been experiencing the same feelings! I feel these surges of anger that i feel like i can't control and i end up snapping and yelling at any innocent bystander that happens to be innocently standing by! it's horrible.
Interestingly, you and i are both at a slow point in our lives...you are taking time off from college and i just graduated. (although i have been feeling this for quite some time.) I am inbetween jobs, waiting to start a new job with Americorps in July. I know that being fresh out of college has left me feeling a little anxious and directionless, a feeling similar to jumping off a high dive into a big cloud of fog, unsure if there is water below or a sidewalk, ya know? But still, i blame my hormones for the bad moods. I don't know if that's correct either, but i guess i'll see what other people have to say in reply to my other post... good luck.
__________________ "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
- Ghandi
--------------------->>>
Nyksta:... i mean i *DO* things.. i clean, i swim, i go out.. but there isnt really a reason (i dont think at least) to feel this stressed. its not like i am trying to juggle school, work, and kids, i just feel like i am. -l-
i was wondering if it was hormones. too much testosterone maybe? ... i mean.. is this how guys on steroids feel?
yesterday, i was feeling so sick. had diarrhea several times and went to bed early.. ended up having my fiance (me and him live with my parents) wake me up while he was checking on me.. i still wasnt feeling well so i went to the bathroom and before i could even shut the door i had my mother asking me to come help her with something..
i go and do my business, and find out that our cats who are suppose to stay in the yard, got out, and she wanted me to go find them..
this just sent me into such a rage.
i went to the backyard and found half of them and tossed them into their kitty hut. found the one that isnt fixed and was locked up when i went to sleep, jumping over the wall back into our yard from the neighbors. I ended up getting all the cats into their lil kitty hut, except 3 of them. my mother tells me not to worry about them.. pretty much because her cats are safe and sound in their hut for the night and its my two favorite that are missing. so why should she care?
i found one and trapped him in the garage.. we just moved here so almost all of our stuff is still in boxes in half of the garage and he was hiding under the car and behind boxes. he ended up going under the car.. i was laying on the dirty floor, taking a broom and trying to shoo him out from under it. he gets out from under the car.. walks right over to my mother.. who does nothing. just stands there and ignores him.. so, he goes and runs to the other side of the garage behind some boxes. my mother goes and picks him up and i ask for her to give me the cat so i can go and take him out with the rest. she yells and says no, but i just grab the cat and she slaps me. i yell "DONT you slap me." so she slaps me again.. and i smacked her twice on the hip and she slapped me three more times across the face.
me and her still arent talking to each other today and i am still waiting for her appology. my fiance thinks i should "be the bigger person" and appologize, but i feel like i was sick, everyone knew i was sick, yet i had to be the one to wake up, crawl around on the dirty garage floor, find all the cats, and take care of everything..
i would say i was *DEFINITELY* stressed last night. my fiance says i was "possessed, storming around, slamming doors, beating cats off walls (i admit i smacked a bum or two before i locked them in their hut), floating three feet off of the floor, and projectile vomiting green pea soup as my head spinned around in circles."
do you ever feel this way....? 
I just send him over there when I get like this as I know it is not his fault and I do not want to take it out on him, but I too feel as if I am going psycho!!!! I come unglued at everyone- for no reason at all. My mother called me up and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and I screamed at her "Do I look like I want to go anywhere?" I felt so bad, but I just feel like ripping someone's head off most days. So anyway, sorry this is so long, I just wanted you to know your weren't crazy and there is someone else out there who is feeling the same!! Take care, Niki
