do you think it's a good idea to change a child's name?

babygirl18905 · 10-27-2008, 12:46 AM

I'm just curious what you think about changing a child's name especially a 2-3 year old coming from foster care etc...

I think it could ba good idea but then I think they have been through so many changes what effect will that have to change their name?

I would love your opinions or thoughts about this....

SunnyInSeattle1 · 10-27-2008, 12:53 AM

I think changing a childs name will be relatively easy for a small child. It is like giving a child a nick name....

~Traci~ · 10-27-2008, 02:16 PM

I don't think it would have much effect on most kids. We know ppl that adopted pre-teens & changed their names. It does take a little while depending on the child & they may resist & may not respond to the name at all. We still call our DD by her Chinese name & nickname sometimes even though she responds & knew from about day 2 to her American name.

LadyBugg · 10-27-2008, 02:27 PM

Ah, the question that causes much debate in the adoption world.

Each family has their own feelings about this. We chose to change our Liberian son's name and keep his birth name as his middle name. Now I am the only person who calls him by his former first name and it is a special occasional thing between us. We will do the same with our Ugandan kids. For us it is a way of claiming them and making them ours while still respecting the names that the birth family bestowed.

We have close friends who chose not to change their kids' names and gave them meaningful middle names. That works too.

Some kids really want to have new names when they come home, others don't. I say it depends on their age. Escpecially if they are older, I would get their input.

Whatever feels right for your family and the child is the right thing to do.

babygirl18905 · 10-27-2008, 03:34 PM

Thanks ladies we have not been chosen yet, the little boy is 2 years old so I didn't think it would be that much of an issue. We were lucky with DS we brought him home straight from the hospital, and he was never named. We chose the name Matthew because it means "Gift From God" and would love to give this little boy a meaningful name as well if we are his chosen family. They plan to make their decision by the end of November. Please pray that this little angel is also ment for our family and Matthew will have his sibling!

Ladybugg~ I love that picture of Kenya & Duncan! Everytime I see it I smile

ProudPCOMom · 10-27-2008, 04:44 PM

We changed our 2 yr old son's middle name - as we really liked his first name at it *fit* him so well. I couldn't imagine him with a different first name.

We changed our 3 yr old daughter's name completely - her name didn't fit her at all and we really disliked it. We had been calling her a nick-name from the time she moved in at age 2 and had permission to use her new name 3 months before her 3rd birthday. We decided what her new name would be before she was 2 1/2 and we *played* with the name with her for a few months before we started using it. We would sing songs with her new name and talk to her about it. When we started using it, she already knew it was *hers*. It was just a matter of time until the paperwork was final and EVERYONE would use her new name (including medical providers). Up until she was just over 3, I think she still recognized her old name when it was used for others - as she perked her ears up when she heard it, but she doesn't react to it anymore.

Both of our children had bio-family names as their middle names, so we chose not to keep them - we gave them names we would have given birth children and were meaningful to us.

If our children had been older, we would have involved them in the re-naming process.

Susan

HappyTahiti · 10-27-2008, 05:48 PM

What name are you changing from and to?

babygirl18905 · 10-28-2008, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyTahiti

What name are you changing from and to?

No offense anyone but I prefer not to disclose the chid's name since he is on different adoption photolistings and his name is different I've never heard it before and just don't like it. BUT if we are blessed to add him to our family his NEW name will be Ryan

OrganicAmy · 10-28-2008, 07:26 PM

I don't really see a problem with it, personally. I would probably at least keep the name as their middle name.

DStout · 10-28-2008, 11:34 PM

Ok. Let me start by saying that I am by no means trying to compare animals to children - LOL - but the reasoning I am about to speak of could apply to children as well. I do animal rescue and when we bring in a dog or cat to foster that has a history of abuse or neglect, we always change the animal's name. The reason for this (and how it could apply to a child who was abused or neglected) is because we don't know what negative associations might be attached to the old name. For instance, if a child only had his/her name called during anger then hearing that name might automatically bring up feelings of fear or guilt. By using a new name, new and positive associations can be built. Just a thought to consider. Of course that may not always be true but is something to think about.

Good luck and I hope Matthew gets his sibling soon. :-)

Sew Crazy · 11-02-2008, 01:26 AM

We have an open adoption, but had not met the birth parents when our son was placed with us. They were really bummed that we changed his name until they learned the new name. His new name is the same as the biological grandpa and step grandpa. We all think it is pretty cool it ended up that way. His middle name is also for his birth mother

jeminijad · 11-02-2008, 07:31 AM

I'm trying to think about this from an adoptive parent's POV... unless the child is already school age and is against having their name changed, it seems like it wouldn't cause major problems. Don't many Native American tribes rename their children as they grow, to match their personalities/lives?

I placed a baby for adoption 6 years ago and I found out what the adoptive parents wanted him named beforehand. When the lady from the state came in needing the name, I named him what they wanted. Of course that wouldn't be possible in a closed adoption.

wohiomom · 11-02-2008, 07:51 AM

We're foster parents of a 2 yr old girl. There is a permanent custody hearing this month so adoption is a definite possibility. We have discussed the name change. Our current plan is we will keep her current first name as a middle name. We'll probably start calling her a combination of the new and old names after adoption. Reasons we have for changing her name. Her current middle name is unusual and spelled incorrectly and we don't like it's meaning/connotations. Her current first name is not common so we'd prefer it to be her middle name since we live in a rural area and it would give her some privacy from anyone who know her before adoption. The adoption will still be somewhat open since we live in such a small area that we run into the birth parents at Walmart etc. Another reason is we're Catholic and we would like her to have a saint's name as part of her name so that's what we're picking for her first name. Also we really would like at least a partial name change to celebrate her becoming part of the family.
If she were older I'd only change things if the child agreed.

Bree-and-Izy · 11-04-2008, 10:30 AM

change it if they are young enough to not know the difference, if they are and you want to... ask them to help you pick a name. if they are old enough and refuse - well, that's the only situation where i would say don't

babygirl18905 · 11-04-2008, 12:03 PM

I never thought about keeping his name as a middle name but it sounds nice, and flows well so IF we are chosen for him I think that's what we may do. I was planning to name him Ryan Alexander but his birthname is more unique (I've never heard it before). We are just praying this little blessing is ment for us he just turned 2 a few months ago so it should be an easy transition.

that Matthew has a sibling soon!