auntsara28

bitter?!?!?!?! My anger and bitterness is overcoming any hope I might have. Everytime I look in the mirror, I get more and more angry. My whole life revolves around this hair. Has anyone here been able to find true peace?!?!?

Lane

YES!! I have mild PCOS symptoms, so my extra hair was limited to my chin and lip. I used to spend 30 min -1 hour daily plucking the hairs. The plucking caused in grown hairs which led to acne. I also was left with constant red marks due to plucking. It MADE ME SO MAD!!! PCOS is not fair. So when I turned 30, I decided I wanted to do something more about it. So I started getting laser hair removal. Let me tell you, it has changed my life!! I no longer have constant hair growing. I have a SMOOTH chin and upper lip. It feels like newborn baby skin. I never in my life thought I could achieve that. I have had 5 treatments so far (I think I have to do a total of 8). I have clear, no acne, no red marks, no problem fresh skin again! Laser hair removal is the best thing ever. It was seriously the best money I ever spent in my life. I do the Lightsheer laser and paid around $700 for my chin/lip area. I can also go back for the rest of my life for free touch ups in those areas if I need it after my treatment is finished.

It is expensive, but if you concentrate on the areas that bother you the most first, you can wait and do the others later. So if your most embarassing spot is visible to others (like chin, arms), have that treated first. Also, the clinic I go to has a pretty great policy. Every area they treat is guaranteed for life. So if 10 yrs from now I get a hair to grow back, they will do touch ups for free. If you are interested in going this route, do your homework and find the best place possible and you wont be disappointed

__________________
Me 31/DH 33
BCP & Spiro


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

auntsara28

I had several laser treatments about 5-6 years ago. My mother paid for them as a gift and spent the better part of about $2,000.00. I did notice positive results, but did not know know until the treatments were almost over that I would need "maintenence" treatments the rest of my life. Money situations did not support that, so the hair grew back with a vengance. I have a huge desire to find someone who will take monthly payments for electrolysis, since it is permanent. I want so bad to get over this bitterness. I get angry hearing about those who are married/dating and have children. I feel myself becoming an angry, jealous person.

kristen09

Bitter, angry, depressed, and at my lowest point, years ago, even suicidal. You are not alone. I am 32, I was diagnosed as a teen. I am working hard to accept this, but let me tell you, it is not easy. And though I have not found it in me to be at peace yet, you'll find that there are many women on this site who are now at peace. What angers me is that I have to hide from the world all the time, my mind is always on the hair, will people see, did I do a good enough job getting rid of it this morning. But also, I have allowed it to stop me from dating, which angers me the most. No boyfriend, no husband, and consequently no children, which is what I have wanted most in my life. If you try laser, just make sure your hormones are ok, because I spent a couple thousand, and it was wonderful for a year, then it all came back, and worse than before I started the laser. But my hormones got out of whack again, so that was why. But read through the posts, and try doing a lot of positive self-talk, that's what I've been doing for a couple of months now. I haven't gotten the courage to try dating yet, but I know that I'm progressing enough that I will be ready to give it a try before summer. But reading through the posts, other women sharing their experiences and dating/marriage successes have helped me realize that there is hope to living a normal life and eventually getting over the hair issue. But it's going to take a lot of work. Just remember, no one is perfect, everyone has issues. Good luck.

apickett

I get upset as well about the whole hair removal routine every day before I can go anywhere. It is very embarrassing for my husband to touch my face, although he says he loves me regardless, it still makes me feel like less of a woman. I do look at women who have perfect skin with no sign of a hair and get jealous and think.."why can't I have perfect hair free skin?", but I just figure these are the cards that were dealt to me and I deal with it the best that I can. I would love to get permanent hair removal treatments for my face, but simply can not afford them. Maybe someday. Right now, my regimen is a little better because I bought the Smooth Away kit for 10 bucks at Wal-Greens. It is much easier and less painful than waxing/plucking and it works pretty well. It isn't as tedious as other things I have done either. Sorry you are feeling so badly, but we gotta just grin and bear it I guess. ((((HUGS))))

__________________

auntsara28

Not that I am happy with your situation, but it is such a relief to find someone like me! I am 29, single, no kids and never dated. Of course everyone I know gives me the typical "Men can tell if you have no self esteem, blah blah blah" stuff, but, seriously, what reason can I find to have self esteem???? Every once in a while I have a good day when I feel a little confidence and think "I deserve it too". Then I will get see a girl who doesn't have this problem and it all goes away. I dont think I can ever be happy - and that scares me. I can TOTALLY relate to your comment about hiding all the time. Here is a list of "can't do's" that I have developed:

-Go Swimming
-Go camping (How will I shave?)
-Get caught in the rain (Couldnt STAND to let my makeup wash off)
-Hug anyone (What if my makeup rubs off???)
-Let ANYONE touch my face
-Make an emergency run anywhere during the night (Not w/o a shower and shave first)
-Do anything overnight
-Get up in the morning and just go w/o showering
-Not wear makeup

I am sure there are more, but that is it for now. The terribly frustrating part is that I had my hormones tested. She did a complete workup and everything came back "perfect". Really?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!? Tell that to my body. I am SO ready to date and get married and have kids, but I don't know if I could.

Like I said, I know your situation stinks, but I am glad that someone else can relate. I have not been suicidal, though I have had days where I wish I wasn't here. I long for my time in heaven where I can truly be happy and at peace.



quote=kristen09;1889750677]Bitter, angry, depressed, and at my lowest point, years ago, even suicidal. You are not alone. I am 32, I was diagnosed as a teen. I am working hard to accept this, but let me tell you, it is not easy. And though I have not found it in me to be at peace yet, you'll find that there are many women on this site who are now at peace. What angers me is that I have to hide from the world all the time, my mind is always on the hair, will people see, did I do a good enough job getting rid of it this morning. But also, I have allowed it to stop me from dating, which angers me the most. No boyfriend, no husband, and consequently no children, which is what I have wanted most in my life. If you try laser, just make sure your hormones are ok, because I spent a couple thousand, and it was wonderful for a year, then it all came back, and worse than before I started the laser. But my hormones got out of whack again, so that was why. But read through the posts, and try doing a lot of positive self-talk, that's what I've been doing for a couple of months now. I haven't gotten the courage to try dating yet, but I know that I'm progressing enough that I will be ready to give it a try before summer. But reading through the posts, other women sharing their experiences and dating/marriage successes have helped me realize that there is hope to living a normal life and eventually getting over the hair issue. But it's going to take a lot of work. Just remember, no one is perfect, everyone has issues. Good luck.[/quote]

auntsara28

Thanks for the encouraging words. You are lucky to have a man who is so understanding. I have a question for you. When you first met him, how did you address the situation? Did you bring it up or did he? At this point in my life, now matter how understanding he would be, I would die if a guy brought this up. Really - I don't know that I could handle it.

loofahlew

Oh, honey, yes. It just makes you feel so unfeminine. I also have a man in my life who has been very understanding about it. My excess hair is REALLY bad, but I am lucky that no one can tell. Let me give you some pointers that you can use to make yourself feel more confident.

First of all, you can pluck, use depilatories, bleach, epilate, wax...but the best solution I have found to excess hair is shaving. You get less irritation that way, and the irritation is what draws more attention to the hair and makes your skin less smooth. Put the tweezers away and just shave it off. It's not the most attractive thing in the world while you're doing it, but it makes you look the most attractive afterwards. And do it every day carefully using a sharp, new blade. I change mine at least every week.

Also, make sure you exfoliate well. This will keep you from getting nasty ingrown hairs, because these are visible underneath the skin and are hard to hide. I use the Neutrogena Healthy Skin Rejuvenator to exfoliate, and this is great not only for keeping ingrowns away, but it will also clear up any fine lines you have and helps with blemishes and blackheads. I LOVE this thing.

Also, if you have irritation or hard-to-hide 5-o'clock shadow, invest in a good concealer and full cover foundation. I love Dermablend Leg and Body Cover or Ben Nye concealer, and Estee Lauder Double Wear is a great foundation. They hide any irritation or hair that is visible under the skin. I have the extra blessing of being fair, so unfortunately, the hair underneath the skin is very visible when I don't wear makeup. But I promise you, if you do these things, no one will be able to see.

And also, let me assure you that men are much more aware that lots of women have facial/body hair than you might think. Any man who's worth a damn isn't going to care about it and will love you in spite of your flaws. Always hold your head high and remember that you are a beautiful, intelligent woman, and you are a stronger and better person for successfully dealing with all the things PCOS throws at you.

Lane

Kristin is right. My endo did not ok me having laser treatments until she checked my hormone levels. Those really have to be in great condition and stay that way for laser to be effective. I am also still taking spiro to keep things at bay as well.

I also understand how you're feeling about PCOS in general. Thankfully, I have a husband who completely understands and supports my health issues with PCOS. He has told me he never noticed the hair I complained about before but was completely fine if I wanted to do laser hair removal. Such a sweet guy!! My only other big problem with PCOS was infertility. We struggled for 3 yrs to get pregnant. During that time I went through a whole host of emotions. I was angry as hell, bitter, jealous and majorly depressed. i couldnt leave the house to even go running anymore because I couldnt stand to see "It's a boy" and "Its a girl" signs in peoples yard. I literally became a hermit because I couldnt deal with everything around me. When I finally did have twins, I refused to put those signs in my yard, because of the way they made me feel when I was dealing with infertility. Basically I woke up one day and said SCREW THIS. I'm sick of feeling this way and I deserve a good life regardless of the cards I was dealt. So I made an effort to see the positives in my life everyday and stopped dwelling on the negatives...Eventually, I was blessed with children.

Bottom line, PCOS sucks. All you can do is try to find what works best for you, what helps keep your hormones level and live the best life you can. Yes the hair sucks, yes the acne sucks and YES infertility SUCKS!! But we are all here for you and understand your frustrations.

I just wanted to mention one more thing that might help. I have read a lot of cysters here talking about MAC's Studio Fix foundation and concealer. Those are supposed to be amazing at covering up everything. So once you find a hair removal method you like best, this makeup may help conceal any other issues about your skin you may have

PCOS is frustrating at times, but this is why I love soulcysters. Its a place where everyone understands what you're going through and will gladly help in any way they can. Big hugs to you!

__________________
Me 31/DH 33
BCP & Spiro


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

joyblack

Don't let it floor you -- all those apparently-perfect girls have a whole lot of other problems.

Agreed. I can't -- or it would be far too much trouble to get rid of all that hair. But that's my choice.

No problem at all. Men's-type rechargeable razor. Gives weeks and weeks of shaving on one charge and mine is very quiet. Can shave in the tent if necessary.

I don't wear makeup and don't need to. But in any case, most of the women who wear makeup have the same problem. If you must, wear waterproof stuff.

No problem whatsoever on these ones. I shave every morning and if I'm going to be out late in the evening I'll shave again in the early evening. My rechargeable razor can go with me in my purse. It's a non-problem.

I don't need to shower in order to shave and I don't wear makeup. Shaving takes less time in the morning than brushing my teeth.

Did they test for free testosterone?

It may be that you are very sensitive to testosterone -- especially likely if your ring fingers are longer than your index fingers (it's not your fingers that are responsible, of course, but your finger growth pattern is determined by early fetal exposure to testosterone).


Nor does anyone until they try!

joyblack

You've got most of this spot-on.

Laser without getting your hormones right is not going to give lasting results, because you've got skin that's sensitized to respond to testosterone and if your hormone balance is in the male range then moustache and beard growth are more or less bound to come back. That's a permanent tendency, so it's probably going to be an ongoing need to keep your hormones out of the male range and inside the normal female range if you're expecting the laser hair reduction effect to be semi-permanent.

You're right too, in that everyone has problems, not just those of us with PCOS.

And you're right that some of us have found love and are quite at peace with the fact that we are who we are -- though I have to confess that it was my now-DH who was instrumental in my coming to that stage in accepting myself. From the time we first met, it didn't bother him that I had a moustache and had to shave every day. Or that I was flat-chested. And it doesn't bother him now that I have male-type beard growth as well. Looking back over more than 30 years of marriage I really think that it's made our marriage better because we were so keen to work at it and make it work. And the high sex drive caused by high testosterone levels was a great advantage.

Anonwithacyst

I feel that way too. I feel so powerless and angry. Everytime I come to accept it I get hair in other places. It has been getting worse and worse. There isn't one inch on my face that is Hair-free. I have never dated, never had a boyfriend or a normal life because of it. I dream of traveling the world and a bunch of things but I know it will never be a reality. I want to be married someday and have kids, but how do you keep something like this from a husband. I would live in constant fear of losing a SO to a more feminine woman. It sucks

joyblack

You don't keep it from a husband -- you share it with him. And you can almost certainly give him very much more than a more feminine woman is every likely to either want to give him or be able to give him. Men seem to prefer grils who are up-front about things. You say there isn't one inch of your face that's hair-free -- OK, get a decent men's-type electric razor and shave. Plenty of women here will tell you their husbands don't mind the fact that they shave. Having beard growth or body hair doesn't need to stop you dating or having a boyfriend or a husband -- all it means is that you'll be more like your BF or DH than most other girls would. And your higher levels of testosterone will be an advantage, not a disadvantage. Besides which you can work at your relationship with your husband to make it infinitely better physically than he could ever have with a more feminine woman. Remember that you don't need to be ultra-feminine to have a great physical relationship ! I know perfectly well that there's no way whatsoever that I could compete in a femininity contest -- but I don't think my DH could possibly have had a better physical relationship with any of the much more feminine girls that he dated than the physical realtionship he has with me.

apickett

My husband and I have been together since we were both 17, and my symptoms were non existent back then except for my being irregular. I started getting the hair around the age of 20, which is when we got married, and I let him know about the hair and he has never had a negative reaction, of course he hasn't seen me with a beard or anything. He has even offered to let me use his razor..hehe.

__________________

joyblack

If we're away at out cabin out in the wilds my DH will often suggest that I don't bother shaving and just let it grow in -- so he and our kids have seen me with up to two weeks of beard growth. It certainly doesn't seem to turn him off in the very slightest -- our romantic life is at its best when when we're on vacation there.