So I know I have not been trying long but why does it seem so many people I know are pregnant with no troubles!
Today I found out that a friend is pregnant after getting married a few months ago and I heard an acquaintance is pregnant too and she only got married last year!
I am so very very jealous and disheartened!!! As much as I want to be happy for them I am struggling with it especially since the acquaintance is not a nice person and told me she would never want kids!
It just seems so unfair! Does this make me a bad person to feel this way?
__________________ Me: 35 DH: 45 Married: August 2008 DX With PCOS: March 1999 TTC #1 Since: July 2009 SA: All good To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Definitely NO you are not a bad person! We all feel this way from time to time. I know I'm jealous and mad as hell all the time. I've had 3 m/cs and am 36 years old still trying. Working at a hospital and seeing all the pregnant KIDS and BAD MOTHERS and abused babies that come in makes me want to scream and throw a fit a lot of the time. But of course I don't and just internalize it like everyone else. It does seem so unfair but I keep trying and hoping and praying. And it helps to be a member of places like this where my struggles are shared by so many others because IRL it seems like I'm the only one with these issues but coming here I know i am not alone at all and it's a lot more common than it seems. Not that that makes it any easier for any of us, but it does help to have people to talk to who understand what you're dealing with. It is especially harder when someone close to you is pregnant or family members and friends seem to get pg so easily. But never think you're a bad person for feeling that way, just make sure that you don't take it out on them because it's not their fault that they can any more than it is your fault that you can't. That is the hardest part for me. I have to make sure that I don't let it affect my attitude around them or that I don't avoid them out of jealousy.
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No Def not! We are HUMAN and you have to allow yourself to feel your feelings without the burden of guilt over your own emotions. Don't think your a bad person. We all go through that every day. Why just last night I was waiting in line at a local grocery store and jealously (& sadly) staring at the not 1, or two but three seriously "about ready to pop 3 weeks ago" pregnant women in line a few check out lines down from me. Of course they had beautiful brown eyed toddlers and children too... all I could say to my DH was "I F-ing HATE them..." and grab myself a snickers....
None of us are bad people, were just people.
Baby dust and hugz!
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You are absolutely not a bad person for feeling the way you do. What would make you a bad person is if you acted on those feelings by mistreating those friends/acquaintances.
I think we all have those same feelings and not just about TTC either.
As far as the one whose not so nice, and never even wanted children...you may not know her super well. She could very well have been dealing with IF for a long time and has kept things quiet, but allowed the struggle to turn her bitter. I'm not saying this is the case, but its a possibility, as I had a friend who was adamant about not having kids, etc. And then she was pregnant, and she finally told me about how she'd been secretly TTC for over 4 yrs, but didn't want anyone to know, because she could deal better with not being a "kids" person to the world, better than a "broken" person. Her words.
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As far as the one whose not so nice, and never even wanted children...you may not know her super well. She could very well have been dealing with IF for a long time and has kept things quiet, but allowed the struggle to turn her bitter. I'm not saying this is the case, but its a possibility, as I had a friend who was adamant about not having kids, etc. And then she was pregnant, and she finally told me about how she'd been secretly TTC for over 4 yrs, but didn't want anyone to know, because she could deal better with not being a "kids" person to the world, better than a "broken" person. Her words.
VERY good point. You just never know what other people are going through in private.
I got pregnant only 6 months after we got married. We know how extremely blessed we are because it takes some a lot longer. We had a lot of people say things like "oh you didn't waste any time" etc. What they didn't know is that I knew before we were married that I had pcos and that we were just getting ready to start our first round of clomid when we got surprised with the pregnancy.
I just hope that this provides some different perspective on things. I have had more than one friend reveal to me their infertility troubles when I was more vocal about mine.
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It does NOT make you a bad person. I ask myself the same question, and I ask my friends if it makes me bad, and they always say no. It's natural to get angry...you have every reason to feel the way you do. What we go through ttc with pcos is very unjust, and it's upsetting to see people who take their fertility for granted and don't appreciate their children. The way you feel is completely normal and expected.
When I was talking to a friend (who also struggles with fertility) if she gets angry and frustrated, she told me that she does, but she also realizes that her struggles will only make her a better mother. And you know what? I think she's absolutely right! When I first started the process of getting diagnosed after getting off bcp's, I stopped taking bcp's because I thought "there was no reason for me NOT to get pregnant"...not because I definitely wanted kids. I figured that dh and I had been married for a year and we were financially stable. I knew I might have issues based on my menstrual cycles before going on bcp's, so I began the process of going off bcp so that I could figure out if I had issues and ttc. After 2 years with us actively trying for this past year, and one miscarriage, I now know that I NEED to be a mother....I'm not in the ttc game because other think I SHOULD be a mother. So many people who get pregnant just began the process because it was the next natural step in life...and some of these people will probably be crappy parents. But you and the rest of us cysters will be awesome parents because we know what we want, we're working hard to get it, and we'll have an unmatched appreciation for parenthood.
So I know I have not been trying long but why does it seem so many people I know are pregnant with no troubles!
Today I found out that a friend is pregnant after getting married a few months ago and I heard an acquaintance is pregnant too and she only got married last year!
I am so very very jealous and disheartened!!! As much as I want to be happy for them I am struggling with it especially since the acquaintance is not a nice person and told me she would never want kids!
It just seems so unfair! Does this make me a bad person to feel this way?
I agree with the other posters.. definitely does not make you a bad person. Feelings of jealousy are normal. Wanting something for yourself that is a perfectly normal thing does not mean that you aren't happy for your friend. We have all been there. Don't be disheartened. It will happen for you.
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Praying for our first miracle! Dh on HCG injections and Arimidex, hoping it works!
Thank you ladies - I don't feel so bad now and you are right this girl could have been in the same boat as me and I should be happy for her! I am more positive today!!! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
__________________ Me: 35 DH: 45 Married: August 2008 DX With PCOS: March 1999 TTC #1 Since: July 2009 SA: All good To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I know how you feel so many of my Facebook friends are PG how does everyone tune it all out?
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I know how you feel so many of my Facebook friends are PG how does everyone tune it all out?
unfortunately, there isn't really good way to tune it out. At the present moments, none of my friends are pregnant.. they are already done having children, so I have been where you are. The best thing you can do is take time for yourself. When i was going through this i went shopping, changed my hair color and cut, and tried to keep as busy as possible. We are currently waiting to find out (next thursday) if DH is a candidate for hormone therapy or whether it is straight to IVF. I decided to go back to school over the summer to take my mind off of the TTC obsession. Believe it or not.. it's actually working! Hope this helps a little!
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Praying for our first miracle! Dh on HCG injections and Arimidex, hoping it works!
I decided to go back to school over the summer to take my mind off of the TTC obsession. Believe it or not.. it's actually working!
^^^^THIS^^^^
I am so much more emotionally relaxed about TTC thanks to school!
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I've actually tried to stay close with my friends that have gotten pregnant/become parents. It was really hard at first and it's still difficut sometimes, but I constantly remind myself that pregnancy isn't a sale at Macy's, someone else having a baby doesn't mean that the universe might run out and I may not get one. If anything, being around pregnant women, reminds me that pregnancy is possible. I will admit, after the first person that I know had a baby in the time span that my DH and I had been ttc, it was hard, but it still is a reminder that it is possible to get pregnant. Just like reading all the BFPs on this site. They are good things, they are reminders to all of us that it is possible. It'll happen, keep your chin up. And I also agree completely with Daisy, you'll be better parents for having to wait and work for it To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Me-Lisa (31), DH-Tim (32)
Currently taking: 1500mg Metformin Prenatal vitamins
Does it make me a bad person... 
