Don't understand it

wannabamama · 03-23-2009, 12:32 PM

This morning I had what was supposed to be my final visit with the RE. Well, the baby had no heartbeat, and was measuring a week behind. There was no explanation. The RE said that it happens to 3 out of 10 women, but really couldn't give me an answer as I'm almost 9 weeks along.

I don't know what to do or where to start. I had my ob appt scheduled for tomorrow, and she's going to talk me through the D&C procedure, and get all paperwork done. I don't know what to expect, so I'm scared. Don't know how to describe what I'm feeling right now..........

goodbyeluv4ever · 03-23-2009, 01:21 PM

Jenn, I've had a D&C in the past and it's a very simple procedure. Are you having the embryo tested? Talked to the doctor about that, and maybe they can do a chromosome analysis. I'm sorry you're going through this. Did you have any symptoms of a miscarriage at all? I know how frustrating it is to not have answers. Hugs

AnotherDreamer · 03-23-2009, 01:30 PM

I am so sorry for your loss (*hugs*)

I agree with the PP, can they do genetic testing?

wannabamama · 03-23-2009, 05:32 PM

Jess & Stephanie,
Thanks for the info. I'm not sure what they'll do, but I'll be sure to ask my OB tomorrow. She has already gotten back to me. The RE did mention something about at this point it could have been chromosomal, but he couldn't explain it either. Thanks again ladies. I appreciate it.

c.a.rogers · 03-23-2009, 06:09 PM

Jenn - I am so very sorry.

Carol

TTCTeacher · 03-23-2009, 06:29 PM

Jen-I PM'd you but mine was the same way-went for a short ( so i thought) ultrasound and no heartbeat. NOthing. No warning. No cramps, no spotting, no change in symptoms. Had a ton of u/s done and all showed nothing. I had the D and C friday.

Mine went FINE! And let me tell you-my lap/hys surgery was awful-I was soo sick and didnt function for 2 days afterwards, but this I was walking like 30 min later and left the hops. even. Now emotionally I am a disaster and really dont know what to do, but physically I feel like I am healing, inside.

I consulted my Re and 2 OB's and all said to do the D and C. Its quicker and safer-it makes sure no tissue is left behind and this way no danger of hemorrhaging. I plan to TTC again-I dont know when, but they al said waiting could take days to several weeks-and thats dangerous. I stopped my crinone and I lost what must have been the mucous plug Friday when i peed at the hopsital, so the OB said my body was starting, but we still did the D and C. I swear it does not hurt! Over the weekend I tried to do some shopping and eating( sure get fatter to dull the pain) and I could-I have mild spotting and cramps like AF.

It makes no sense. I am so angry and I start crying at the drop of a hat. Ihave been TTC for 8 years and this was my first REAL BFP! Nothing was going wrong-there was no reason. My RE said 40% of pregnancies end in m/c, and most are due to chromosomal problems. Nothing we did caused this. He also said 90% of women who have had a m/c go on to have healthy pregnancies-I have to hold onto those odds. I was 8 weeks, well I would have been on Sat, so I had it one day shy of the 8 week mark.

I am here for you-I cant see my friends, I dont wanna even see a fking ticker right now-so if you need me, I am here. I can give you my email also!

I pray for you to have strength, at least for yourself, I keep remembering to breathe, but thats all i can do each day so far.

louise540056 · 03-23-2009, 06:34 PM

I am so sorry- take care jen xxx

wannabamama · 03-23-2009, 10:25 PM

Jen/TTCTeacher - You don't know how much your post means to me. Your description of your feelings is exactly how I feel right now. It's like a dull, this is not real, feeling. I am two days shy of 9 weeks, and last week everything was fine. What happened? My RE was really good, and did mention something about chromosomes, but the fact that I almost totally broke down with my legs up in the stirrups, he just comforted me. I read on your post that when they do the D &C they can check the chromosomes and tissue for more information. I'm just stunned.

DH and I would like to try again and my RE said that I would have to wait 2 months. Tomorrow when I go to the OB I'll ask her as well. I'm glad to hear that you are doing well physically after your procedure. I will definetly PM you because here I am thinking that I am fine, and ......... you know the rest.

I can't express you how much I appreciate you and your encouragement.

TTCTeacher · 03-23-2009, 11:41 PM

Jen, anytime. It sucks to even say this-but to have someone to go through this with feels comforting. Like I have a reason to be alive or something-to support you. I have really wanted to just die all weekend, not going to of course but just so depressed I didnt want to feel anything more.

My RE said that usually theres a chromosomal problem with the baby. Nothing could have been done, which sucks. I lost it-I was like WHY THE FK can babies be born weighing 1 pound to fking crackheads and mine couldnt even grow in my healthy uterus????? UGHHHH!!

My RE said nothing about testing the baby, however he agreed to do the blood tests on DH and I in 2 weeks, well he said 2 weeks after the D and C. He has always been proactive with me and he knows I worry about the fact I will be 37 in May and we have male factor to deal with and IVF is not an option on our salaries. Not to mention-imagine spending 10,000 and then losing another baby??? I could spend he 10 is I knew they would make it! So I guess we will have blood tests soon, which is a good idea but god forbid something is wrong, I dont think my DH can handle anything else.

I have to believe we will have our babies. I keep thinking next time I will have twins because this angel will come back to me, and YOU! Plus we were shocked it was only one this time-we both have always had some sneaking feeling we would have twins, just a weird feeling inside.

You will be ok, physically with the procedure. I read someone's blog saying when you want to cry-CRY. If you wanna scream-SCREAM. So when i lose it, I just do-I dont try to hide it, but I also dont have a DD to care for-just 2 big ole dogs, haha.

I got through the surgery by telling myself, this will help my uterus be healthy. I will heal and there will be a healthy home for a baby someday in there. I also begged the OB to be gentle and not hurt my cervix or uterus.

Also-if your OB practice has many Dr.'s. make sure you get one YOU WANT!!!! DO NOT TAKE JUST ANYONE_you get a choice and get one who is caring and will talk to you and get you through your surgery.

I am here, please tell me how tomorrow goes. Try and have another u/s before you proceed-I did the morning of the D&C and it made me have peace-I had to make sure there was no chance for the baby.

I am here for you, always!

SheriKCMO · 03-24-2009, 12:42 AM

Many hugs coming your way!! Your feelings sound so familiar. Even though each of our grief journeys is unique, there are very common threads when mothers lose their babies. I'm so sorry about your loss, and I hope the d&c is easy for you.