dont even know where to start

annem84 · 12-29-2005, 05:18 PM

A little background. Before Kyle and I started to date--I was involved in a 10-month relationship with a guy named Matt. He abused me physically, emotionally and sexually for 4 of those 10 months (the last 4 months). I have been in therapy for that and always believed that PCOS was somehow a way for GOD to get back at me for staying with him for so long....but with therpay I have seen that that isn't the case--anywho.
Last night I had heard that he was back in SD (goes to New York for College) and last night I had a nightmare that he had found me and started to hit me. The dream was so vivid--hiting my back, pushing me down flights of stairs, while he just stood at the top and watched me roll. I cant shake the feeling that he is going to find me again and start doing this to me. I'm in a loving relationship with Kyle who understands what I went through with him and comforts me like a porcelain doll, which is nice but ughh, that feeling is just there. What a friggen way to start a morning out.

nicole47 · 12-29-2005, 07:03 PM

I'm so sorry you had to go through that and I'm so glad you got out of that relationship, into therapy, and into a kind and loving relationship.

I think dreams like that are common when we've experienced trauma. My situation is not as bad as yours was, but I had to go into therapy for anxiety (and panic attacks and depression) caused by graduate school, and sometimes when my awake life is more stressful than usual, I'll have a nightmare that I never got my PhD, that I have to take general exams again, that my mean advisor is saying my work is all garbage and I'll have to start over or drop out.

Hold on to Kyle and talk to your therapist and hang in there. If you think he might find you, you may want to consider self-defense classes, mace, and/or a restraining order.

sleepydumpling · 12-30-2005, 03:16 AM

Honey, I've not spoken to my father for 12 years and I STILL have dreams about him hitting me and chasing me when I'm stressed and worried. It's all part of the scarring thes b@stards leave on our souls.

There's nothing wrong with you, you're just showing your stress through your dreams. Just let them pass, the less you stress about them, the quicker they will pass.

But it would be a good idea to talk to both your partner and your therapist about them - it helps to get the dreams out there and talked about!

Hugs
Kath