MzSnowleopard

It's been well over 10 years since I've seen my three children. I had made the choice to place them for adoption. It has been my dream and constant prayer since the birth of my eldest ( 1991) that several things would happen;

I dream to see them again, that they would understand why I made the choice I had and most importantly- and probably the most painful- I dream that some day people will STOP judging, condemning, belittling, and insulting me for the choice I made.

People talk about the gift of an adopted child but the ugly side of this gift is the way society treats the natural mother. It hurts... and what's worse is that I know of women who had abortions that are treated with far greater respect than those of us who chose their child's life. It makes me sick.

Holidays and birthdays are the hardest, my eldest was born just before Christmas and my second daughter just after the 4th of July. I cannot think of a greater emotional pain than that of losing or, in my case, giving up a child.

My constant dream- to one day be able to wrap my arms around them again.

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KlassicalKat

Your post is so touching and my heart goes out to you. I wish that I could make your dream come true somehow. I am sure that you had valid reasons at the time to do what you had to do and no one has the right to judge you about your decision. I am shocked at how you have been treated. You have been through so much and I think that anyone that would insult you or belittle you is absolutely heartless. So many people don't look at all sides of a situation and are far too quick to make their own selfish judgement calls about people.

It must have been hard for you to post this, but I am so glad that you did. It's a reminder to me to always be compassionate to all that I meet as I never know what they might be dealing with in life. Everyone deserves understanding and respect. You certainly do and I wish all the best for you and for your dream to come true in the best way possible.

(((((hugs))))),

Kathryn

Adoption Momma

If it wasn't for a birth mother, I would never get to fulfill my dream to become a mom. For my childrens' sake, I wish their birth parents would have made the choice from the beginning instead of waiting until they had 4 children they exposed to a neglectful situation.

As I tell my sons, adoption doesn't mean your birth parents stopped loving you or that you have to stop loving them. It just means they realized they weren't able to be a mommy and daddy and wanted them to have the best life possible.

I pray your children will feel your love and that you find will peace one day.

__________________

MzSnowleopard

thank you so much ladies, I keep counting down the time until they turn 18.

One of the greatest gifts I cherish are the memories of my son, it was a partially open adoption- Lynn, the adoptive mom had had 11 miscarriages with the 11th having been twins. My heart went out to her and I asked if she could and would like to be in the delivery room with me. Not only was she there, she also went through the dr visits AND was my coach during the delivery.

I wish I could have kept even one of my children, but the demands of society and it's must have this and that- I'm talking about the things we take for granted like shelter, food and the every day things.... I could barely supply these things for myself and the father- all he wanted was the child he could not have: his first born from his ex wife.

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Ammaarah

http://wetfeet.typepad.com/

This blog is written by a woman who gave a child up for adoption. I think she's a wonderful writer.

I am sorry that people judge your choice. I am sure you made it out of love.

MzSnowleopard

Thank you- I try to explain that it's 'because' I love them that I gave them up- hoping for a better life for them

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